


Things Still Left

by Linky



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2018-10-14 19:31:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 50,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10543074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linky/pseuds/Linky
Summary: This fic is set after the events of mass effect andromeda, so there will be some spoilers eventually. The first few chapters are spoiler free, and I will post a note before each chapter saying whether or not they contain spoilers for those of you who have yet to play/finish the game.I am also a full time uni student who is about to go on a teaching placement, so please bear with me when it comes to updates. I'll do it as often as I can! :) Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and if you want to have a more indepth conversation with me about this fic or any of the others I've written, you can find me on tumblr at fereldentrashbag.tumblr.comThis chapter is very short purely because I'm still getting a feel for the characters, but please enjoy! :)





	1. Less Than Smooth - Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is set after the events of mass effect andromeda, so there will be some spoilers eventually. The first few chapters are spoiler free, and I will post a note before each chapter saying whether or not they contain spoilers for those of you who have yet to play/finish the game.
> 
> I am also a full time uni student who is about to go on a teaching placement, so please bear with me when it comes to updates. I'll do it as often as I can! :) Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and if you want to have a more indepth conversation with me about this fic or any of the others I've written, you can find me on tumblr at fereldentrashbag.tumblr.com
> 
> This chapter is very short purely because I'm still getting a feel for the characters, but please enjoy! :)

No matter how many times he saw one, Evfra still thought humans inordinately strange-looking. Why did some of them have hair, and some not? Was there any significance to the length of a human’s hair? Was it true that they had tiny little hairs covering their whole body? And then, of course, there was the matter of their fingers. Namely, that they had so many of them. Not to mention the strange shape of their legs, and the all-around general…softness of their bodies. He also found their emotions difficult. What were they feeling? _Were_ they feeling? He couldn’t decide if humans were emotionally aloof intentionally, or simply didn’t possess the emotional range of the Angara. That being said, their display on the Nexus’ cultural centre listed humans as one of the most emotive of the milky way species. But that could either mean the rest had the emotional range of an Adhi, or that human emotions perhaps did not translate well.

 He found himself thinking all of this whilst a young human woman stood before him, looking like a startled kaerkyn. It was not often that Evfra found the – what was it that humans said – the carpet pulled out from under him, but on this occasion he was…at a loss. He vaguely recalled launching a data pad at her general direction, which was never intended to hit but almost did regardless; followed by a lot of bellowing about silly human scientists getting underfoot all the damn time. He thought he heard her squeak out something about being a historian, but that was between him accusing her of being a spy and asking her if she had at least one good sense in her head. He usually hoped for a plural amount of good sense, but these aliens seemed to have a different concept of what constituted ‘good’. Ryder, for instance, had absolutely none whilst still managing to get things done, which was a feat quite on its own.

When he had finally calmed down enough to ask her how she had managed to gain entrance in the first place, it was her answer that left him in his carpetless state – so to speak.

“Tell me again how you got in here?” Evfra sighed, rubbing his temples as he spoke.

“Well, I…I got lost. I was looking for the Repository of History – I have a permit from the governor – and well…back on Earth, our historical artefacts were always guarded. So when I saw the patrolmen outside, I thought…I asked them for directions. And they told me it was just through these doors. And, well…here we are?”

“You’re telling me that one of my own recruits let you in whilst I was in the middle of a meeting discussing some extremely covert plans?” It wasn’t that he thought she was lying, for there truly was no other way to get inside. It was more the implications that someone under his command would be so deliberately stupid.

“Two of them, yes. They were just by the door.” She was still holding herself away from him as though she expected he might leap on her like a wild Adhi and bite her head off. He supposed he nearly had, in her defence.

“I don’t have time for this,” Evfra muttered under his breath. Before straightening up, clearing his throat and continuing on, “Show them to me.” After what Ryder had done for his people, it was one of his duties to ensure that the relationship between the Angara and the aliens of the Milky Way remained on friendly terms. That, and the moshae was breathing down his neck to make an effort to be more accommodating. The research the humans and other aliens were doing was not for their sole benefit, after all. Leaping at the chance to be away, the human woman nearly launched herself at the door. She was jumpy – nervous about being surrounded by unfamiliar aliens, and he likely had made her caution spike straight to anxiety. Evfra grunted, refusing to feel bad. The humans want in to an Angaran world, then they can learn to take Angaran emotions in stride.

He found himself observing her as they walked. She always kept herself scurrying a few paces ahead, cautiously looking back at him every now and then. He had to resist scowling at her every time she did so. She was going to be a nuisance, he could tell. First day here and she’d already run into strife.

It wasn’t long until they were outside, and she stood at the bottom of the stairs, staring nervously at her feet. Evfra was about to prompt her into action, when he heard the unmistakable sounds of snickering. It was coming from the general direction of two Resistance recruits stationed by the entrance. He caught them glancing at her again before one of them sputtered into a full belly-laugh. A look of annoyance flashed across the human’s face, reminding Evfra that they could be expressive when they chose to be. Clearing his throat, he denied himself the tiny bit of spiteful pleasure he got from seeing his recruits faces pass from surprise to dread. Before he had a chance to question them, one of them remembered himself and leapt to attention.

“Evfra, er…sir! We ah, um…”

“Yes?”

“We were just having a little fun, sir. A practical joke.”

“Oh. I see.” Evfra was quite for a moment, “So, let me see if I am understanding this correctly. You thought it would be _funny_ to play a prank on an official sent from the Nexus. A prank that would send her directly into a meeting where I was handling sensitive information about our troop movements. Knowing that the resistance tries to maintain friendly relations with the Roekaar, who would be in attendance at this meeting. The Roekaar who want her people dead. This all seemed like a humorous exploit?” He was, unexpectedly, met with silence.

“I’m really not that important to the Nexus. They just had to put me somewhere.” The human piped up, smiling nervously at him. He glowered at her in response.

“Wait here.” Was the only reply he gave her before turning to the two recruits and gesturing for them to follow him. He had not cultivated a reputation of fear for no reason.

 

Robin watched the large, blue Angaran storm off, reigning in his subordinates with an expertly wielded glare. She clutched her personal file against her chest, wondering if it’d really be any good in an entirely new galaxy. It was the only thing she had with her that reminded her of life before the Initiative, aside from her clothes and a photo album, so she drew a strange sort of comfort from having it nearby. Something about the very paper it was written on – like a little piece of her galaxy that she could carry with her wherever she went.

What she’d said earlier was true – she wasn’t that important to the Nexus. In fact, strings had to be pulled in order to get her accepted into the Initiative. Benefits of being friends with one of the Ryder twins, right? She’d spent a lot of her time on Prothean dig sites, adding her brainpower to the already considerable Asari minds she was sent to work with. That never felt like enough, though. There’d always be someone else to discover something important, especially on Earth. But here? In Andromeda? There was something special just waiting to be found, she could feel it. It wasn’t hard to leave the Milky Way behind. She didn’t have anyone left to leave, aside from Ryder. So after a little bribing (the kind that involved food) she’d managed to wrangle a position for herself. With Nexus up and running almost at its full potential, she was out of cryo and into the new world, as it were. She’d volunteered to go to Aya, and she figured Ryder must have pulled even more strings to get her application approved. That, or someone up there really thought she was best suited for the position.

After a few moments of waiting without results, Robin gave up and sat down on the stairs. So far so…not good, really. She was used to teasing, every kid got used to that. There was probably something comforting to find in the fact that it seemed to be a cross-species, cross-galaxy thing, but she couldn’t help feeling annoyed. Teenagers could be trying everywhere, as it turned out. Though, the cranky blue one wasn’t much fun either, Robin noted, thinking back on the projectile data pad she’d barely deflected with a small biotic shield. Evfra – that had to be him. Not only because multiple people had warned her he had a less than sunny personality. There was an aura about him, a demand for attention without him having to speak a word. Suppose that would come in handy, leading a resistance and all.

After what seemed like at least an hour – though time passes much slower when you’re bored and filled with semi-dread – Robin was on the verge of finding her own way to the Repository. She had one foot dangling over the step in front of her when a voice from behind startled her.

“I thought I told you to wait here.” She whirled around to face the speaker, forgetting that, in order to take a step, one usually requires something to step _on_. With a certain air of gracefulness she had always possessed – which is to say, none – Robin sent herself flailing backwards, landing heavily on her rump. She scrambled quickly to her feet, not seeing the hand offered to help her up.

“You can expect a formal apology from the two young ones. They’ve been made aware of the gravity of their actions. I will show you where you need to go.” Evfra said all this as though he was reading her a list of instructions. He punctuated it by walking off, leaving Robin to scuttle after him. Their entire walk was spent in silence. At any time Robin felt the urge to ask a question, she could just about feel the disapproval radiating off of him, so she stuffed a metaphorical sock in it and decided to ask someone else. With as much ceremony as he’d guided her with, Evfra left her.

“This is where you need to be. Stay away from the resistance headquarters in the future.” With a rather dramatic swirl of his rofjinn, he whirled around and walked away.

“Oh..thank you!” Robin called, “And sorry!” Making sure he’d disappeared around the corner, she slouched against the wall, “What a butt…” she muttered, still gathering her thoughts.  This was not…an ideal start, but at it was _a_ start. And that was something good. Better than good. That was something exciting. With Evfra out of her mind, Robin pushed off the wall, took a deep breath of _real_ air, and stepped inside the Repository. Time for a whole new life.


	2. Laying the First Brick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently i was wrong about the first few chapters being spoiler free. This chapter almost twice as long as the prologue, and there some small spoilers. Though i don't mention anything about the major plot point, if you haven't finished the game and don't want to have anything ruined for you, maybe read this a little later.
> 
> I have received an overwhelmingly positive response to this, and it made me so excited to keep writing! I just want to say a thank you to everyone who has commented, left kudos, and/or contacted me on tumblr to express how much they enjoyed it. It really means so much more than I can every express, and I' really grateful to everyone who takes the time to read anything I've written.
> 
> As the the usual drill, you can contact me on tumblr at fereldentrashbag.tumblr.com if you ever want to talk :)  
> Enjoy!

If someone had asked Robin just one month earlier how she thought studying on Aya would go, she never would have pictured that, at some point, she would be crouched behind a pot plant – hiding from teenagers. She’d been chased by many things in her life, from angry pyjaks to Batarian pirates, but adolescent youth was a new one. It could be worse, she reminded herself as she peered through the iridescent leaves to see if her pubescent pursuers were still lingering. She could be on Eos, being chased by Kett. But Kett, at least, didn’t throw rotten fruit at people. Or so she assumed.

The first attack came only a day or two after she’d landed on Aya and had been given her ‘formal apology’. She’d found rotten fruit stashed among her belongings. It seemed unlikely to be related to her, so she thought no more of it. Until, a scarce handful of days later, she was confronted in the marketplace. It was two youths, and it didn’t take a stretch of the imagination to conclude that they were the same two from outside the resistance headquarters in what she was calling ‘the data pad incident’. Roekaar manifestos were rampant in Aya, you could hardly go two steps without seeing them. Some of the Angara would tear them down angrily, but others – the younger ones – would often stop to read them. Shaking their heads, they’d move on, only to glance back once more. With the Archon dead, the younger Angara wanted something big and bad to rebel against, like so many of their heroes had. It was these people that made Robin jumpy.

She knew that the two Angaran teens had received some form of reprimand from Efvra, but it must have been quite severe for them to be retaliating so openly. So really, in a roundabout sort of way, this was all his fault.

“Ah…are they chasing you again?” Robin looked up to see Avela watching her, barely hiding a grin.

“Yes, now go away. If they see you standing here they’ll know where I am.”

“You can’t stay here forever, Robin. You have work to do.” Avela laughed, holding out a hand, “Come on, they’re hardly going to chase us both.” With a final searching look, Robin gave up her hiding place to take Avela’s hand and surge towards the Repository. They might hesitate at harassing Avela, but she wasn’t going to take any chances.

Being inside the Repository of History was like coming home, Robin realised. Her desk, opposite Avela’s, more comforting than the quarters she’d been given. There was so much to learn about Angaran history, but what excited Robin most was there was so much history left to be a part of. Their civilisation was still so young, yet so advanced, who knew what they could be capable of given the time and the peace to achieve it. And she was going to be right there, witnessing it. She’d have given just about all of her internal organs to witness Ancient Roman history as it unfolded, or make discoveries alongside the Aztec empire. But Earth didn’t have anything left to discover, only the links between discoveries.

Instead of wondering about the civilisation she was studying, wondering who they were, what they were like as individual people – she had been given the opportunity to experience, to _know_ , first-hand.

Robin came to herself with a start, realising her thoughts had run away with her once again.

“Robin? I said, some of us are leaving for Elaaden in a few weeks. Do you want to come?” Avela was looking at her expectantly.

“Elaaden? What for?” Robin asked as she finally settled herself behind her desk. Today was cataloguing day, which meant she was going to be on her arse until she wished she didn’t have one, tapping information into the terminal one historical object at a time.

“We’ve finally received clearance to study the derelict remnant ship. Scavengers have wondered off with most of the salvage by now, which is unfortunate, but we’ve gotten word from the Pathfinder that they’ll have the area secured for study by the time we get there. Or you could travel to Meridian with the moshae, she’s been asking how you’re doing. The other option is to stay here, there’s a small group heading out into the wilds of Aya, but…all things considered…”

“I’m not a scientist.” Robin looked towards her compatriot from across the room, wondering where this line of questioning was going to lead. “I wouldn’t know what to do with remnant technology if my life depended on it, which it literally might at some point. As much as I’d want to go, I know I’ll end up getting in the way.” Avela shrugged, indicating that Robin should suit herself, and began typing something into her terminal. Every now and then she would cast a furtive glance towards Robin before typing something down once more. Apparently finished with whatever she had been doing, Avela turned towards the data pad on her desk, and the two worked in silence for a while afterwards.

There was nothing to punctuate the silence other than the occasional door easing open, and the casual snippets of drifting conversation as people transitioned between rooms. It was strange, Robin thought. Strange because it wasn’t strange at all. Did she really travel across galaxies to feel exactly the same? It wasn’t a bad thought, but it was followed by a rueful grin. Life is as life does, even two and a half million light years away. So far, she’d had little do with the discovery of new artefacts. With the relics Ryder had found whilst being Pathfinder, there’d been too much on Aya to study to go anywhere. Robin was particularly interested in what appeared to be an ancient Angaran musical instrument, though no one she had asked was quite sure how it was meant to be used or if it was even complete.

The clearing of a throat drew her attention away from the list of items she was dutifully cataloguing. At first Robin didn’t see anyone other than Avela, who had her head bent over the manuscript she had been working on for weeks now. She was on the verge of returning to her work when it came again, from the other end of the room. When she saw who it was, she nearly jumped right out of her chair and bolted for the door. There was just no getting used to being glared at quite so intensely. It must be his default expression, she thought.

“Evfra, I didn’t expect you to come in person.” Avela rose smoothly, not even noticing the frigid way Robin and the Resistance leader regarded one another.

“Your message didn’t make a great deal of sense. It cut off midway and began listing different locations for potential dig sites. You didn’t respond when I asked you for clarification.”

“Oh yes, sorry. I must have gotten distracted, there’s so much to do.” Avela waved him over, smiling benignly at them both. Robin watched this interaction with a something akin to dread. For some reason she could not fathom, she just knew something unfortunate was about to happen to her.

“You wrote something about _someone_ hiding behind plants?” Evfra looked towards Robin when he said this, and she felt herself shrink into her chair. Maybe, if she was subtle about it, she could slide under her desk and crawl away.

“I wanted to let Robin manage it herself, but she’s refusing to confront the issue. You know humans have this strange desire to hide their emotions. But it’s hindering her work, which in turn hinders _mine_.” Evfra looked at Avela with a blank expression, waiting for clarification. “Two of your recruits have been causing…a hassle. I believe you know the two I’m referring to.” Evfra’s head swivelled back to Robin where it was her turn to flounder beneath his expectant stare. Unexpectedly, she found her mouth opening and closing, trying to think of something to say. With a grunt, he turned away, shaking his head.

“What exactly have they done?”

“Throw things, mostly, from what I’ve seen myself. No doubt there are other incidents Robin hasn’t old me of.” There were. In total, Robin had experienced the pleasures of rotten fruit being lobbed at her head; her shoes being stolen (but strangely, only the left one in each pair), and finding Roekaar manifestos left outside the Repository and her private quarters. But she was certain that as time went on, they would become more creative. Though, the incident with her shoes did leave her feeling baffled. And quite frankly, she wasn’t entirely sure if the two were related at all. It could be that some totally blameless Angaran had recently discovered they had a foot fetish. But only for left feet? It was starting to sound more and more like the beginnings of a ritual killing the longer Robin thought about it.

“I will deal with this.” Evfra muttered, not bothering to say goodbye as he left. Hearing the door slide shut behind him, Robin slouched in her chair – relieved.

“Is he always so…?”

“Yes.” Avela laughed, “He has his reasons. They’re better than most.”  

“And did you have to tell him about…?”

“Yes to that, too. The number of times I’ve found out you slept under your desk rather than going to bed is concerning. The lack of proper rest is making you paranoid, I’ve seen you hiding your shoes. You should have spoken to Evfra from the start.” Robin made a face, knowing exactly what Evfra’s expression would be. He’d look at her in that particular way of his that made her want to throw a data pad at her own damn self.

“I really don’t think he likes me.”

“He doesn’t.” Avela didn’t seem to notice that this statement was unhelpful, “He doesn’t like anyone, don’t let it bother you.”

           

For the rest of the day, their work progressed without interruption. Robin managed to finish cataloguing the miscellaneous items various people had discovered whilst on Havarl and Voeld. Most of it was ancient Angaran pottery – fragments of larger items that were too small to mean anything significant on their own. In total, they might be able to piece together a small insight into the artistic culture of the ancient Angarans, which was exciting in itself. Art was always telling. Traditions and customs woven together in colours or moulds. There was more to art than beauty. But, Robin stretched up from where she found herself stooped over her work, that was a philosophy to debate another day. This one was well and truly over, even Avela looked tired and usually she could storm through a day or two without rest.

“I think that’s all for today. Tomorrow we can get back to the exciting stuff. Have a think about those expeditions I mentioned to you earlier. I know you’re worried you’d be underfoot, but I’m sure you’d be useful. Let me know what you decide in the morning.” Packing up her things, Avela bid Robin a good night and was gone. The Repository was eerily silent after she left. They were always the last two to leave, but Robin never really noticed the emptiness until Avela was no longer there. It was like she brought life to the scattered remains they had on display, and when she was gone they died all over again, forgotten and haunted. She wished she could make them speak the way Avela did – understand them at a glance. It was a strange ability all Angaran possessed, Robin had noticed. The fragments of their past resonated with some lost corner of their minds – like seeing a picture of someone who looked exactly like you but knowing with an odd certainty that it was someone else. You know the frame, but not the purpose, not the _history_. Robin scoffed, grinning to herself as she packed away her things. It always came down to history, didn’t it?

With one final glance around the room, she prepared herself to make a run for it. Sleeping under her desk really wasn’t comfortable, and ceramic floors were fiendishly cold at night. Thankfully once she was clear of the marketplace, most of the danger was behind her. She scurried out of her office, feeling oddly frightened of the display room and all the broken relics there. Taking a steadying breath, Robin faced the door to the Repository, watching it open with a lump in her stomach. Nothing came charging at her from the darkness beyond, which was usually a good sign. Sticking her head out (probably not the wisest part of her body to risk) she peered about, waiting to see what would come flying at her tonight. Nothing. Distrustful of her sudden good fortune, Robin cautiously stepped into the open, allowing herself to be a still target, but nothing happened.

“Well…” She breathed, a little stunned. Not wanting to push her luck, she began walking towards the Memorial Garden. A scenic walk during the day, but at night she couldn’t help but imagine something leaping out at her from behind the statues. However, it also happened to be the shortest way to get to her accommodation. There were lights in the Garden, which only served to make the statues look as though they could possibly be watching her. In fact, one of them looked extremely out of place. Shorter, Robin thought, and couldn’t for the life of her remember seeing it before. And then – because of course this would happen to her – it moved. She had to bite down on a shriek when she realised it was just someone stepping into the light. When the figure became clear, Robin considered shrieking anyway.

“Evfra?” First she went weeks without seeing him, and now he suddenly seemed to be in all places at once. He didn’t say anything, merely gave her nod and came to stand beside her. He must be taking a walk, she thought. It was peaceful on Aya, especially if you weren’t frightened of your own shadow. And looking at Evfra, Robin didn’t think he was frightened of anything. They stood in silence for a short time, sharing the darkness. She couldn’t say why, really, but he did make the shadows less frightening.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I’m just on my way home. Have…have a good night.” Robin offered, taking a step away from him. Evfra moved with her. Robin stopped. Evfra stopped. She began walking again, and so did he. He kept walking beside her for some time, completely silent.

“What are you doing?” Robin huffed after a short while, completely at a loss. Was he going to start throwing fruit at her too? Or maybe…? No, no he didn’t look like he was into feet. Or anything else, for that matter.  

“I’m making a statement.” His reply was curt and sharp, not unlike the night air surrounding them.

“Oh…uh, when?” He gave her a look that told her exactly what kind of daft he thought she was. “You mean the walking?”

“You’ll be seen being escorted by me to and from your home and work premises. People will assume that you are important, in some way. That I approve of you.”

“But you don’t.”

“The allusion to the fact is more important than the fact itself.”

“Couldn’t you just…make them write out what they did wrong a hundred times or something? They’re your recruits.”

“No.” It didn’t seem like he was going to say more, but Robin kept an expectant eye on him, watching as his breath fogged and curled through the air, “They haven’t been my recruits since your arrival. The Resistance doesn’t need children in its ranks, their actions proved they weren’t ready.” Well, that would explain the severity of their retaliation.

The rest of their walk was spent in silence, which Robin didn’t entirely mind. She couldn’t think of anything to say to him, and she imagined he was probably grateful. When they reached the door to her home, which was nothing more than a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom, Evfra turned to face her.

“I will meet you here in the morning.” And like that, he was gone once more, swallowed by the night. Robin blinked. What time in the morning? Did their days even start at the same time? How did he know what time she left? And then she paused, staring after him while the cold crept up her arms. How long had he been waiting for her tonight?

           


	3. Armistice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is spoiler free! I'll be working on one more chapter before I head out to prac, after which my updating will be slow for a little while. Please be patient with me while this goes on, and know that I'll be literally chafing to write more of this whilst I'm teaching year 11 kids about Ancient Greece (guess we know where Robin's love of history comes from ey??).
> 
> This fic is still in its early stages, and honestly the support and encouragement I have received is moving. I have never been so excited to keep writing, and I owe that to everyone who reads/comment/leaves a kudos. I appreciate it so much, and I am really looking forward to experiencing this fic with you guys! As a side note, I do a lot of my writing late at night, so sometimes i miss spelling/grammar errors. Please feel free to point these out to me so I can go and fix them. I don't have anyone who edits my writing (even I don't edit my writing whoops) so I'm bound to miss errors :)
> 
> If any of you have questions about this fic, or what to just drop in and say hi, you can contact me on tumblr at fereldentrashbag.tumblr.com  
> If you want to read some of the other things I've written, I have a writing blog that you can find at restingwords.tumblr.com
> 
> Thank you guys again for all your support, I am so grateful to all of you <3

Robin wasn’t sure what she had expected, when the following morning came around. She had imagined various scenarios in which Evfra burst down her front door, shook her awake, and dragged her to work while she was still in her pyjamas. But by the time morning sunlight filled the white space of her home, there was no raucous knocking on her door. In fact, there was only birdsong and the faint babble of water that could always be heard on Aya. She sat up, looking around the room with bleary eyes. Maybe he had forgotten? Although Evfra seemed the type of person that would remember the exact date and time someone accidentally wronged him by walking into a meeting, and hold a grudge about it forever…Maybe it was just a particular attitude he had towards her. Well, there was no understanding him, even other Angara just shrugged and accepted it when it came to Evfra. She wondered what she would say to him as she prepared herself for the day. Robin didn’t know the first thing about guns or shooting them, so she could hardly discuss the best Kett killing strategies. And she didn’t think he would take kindly to her telling him about his own peoples’ history – he knew it better than she did, after all. That left…the weather? Oh goody, twenty minutes of cranky silence with a sprinkling of small talk. They could hardly walk together without saying anything at all, could they? Robin snorted, laughing silently to herself as she opened the front door, of course they could.

He wasn’t there. Admittedly, Robin was surprised. She stood around for a short while longer, thinking maybe he was running late, but he still didn’t make an appearance. At first she thought it was rude, but then considered the possibility that he had come earlier, waited around for _her_ and left. It would serve him right, running off without organising anything. Shrugging mentally, she set off. There weren’t any Roekaar flyers outside her door this morning, and it left her feeling strangely confident. Perhaps if she just kept walking as though she knew nothing untoward was going to happen, it might actually not. Bullies can smell fear, and from how she usually walked to work, she definitely stank of it.

  Aya was a beautiful planet. No matter how many time she saw the stunning vistas, the sheer green life of the place made her pause to breathe. She still half expected to see butterflies, flitting from flower to flower. It was always a strange sort of stark feeling when she remembered she’d never see butterflies ever again – or any other small Earth thing. It wasn’t so much that she was sad, there so many better things to be sad about, but it did make her realise the parts of life she never knew she noticed. Like the trees, for instance. Plant life in Heleus was beautiful, and – thanks to Ryder – plentiful. But it was alien, the way it glowed and lit up the darkness. She missed the simple, dark green of Earth’s trees. The smell of pines and the familiar way things were shaped. Maybe someday there’d be forests on Eos, but she didn’t think she’d be alive to see them. It was humbling and comforting, all in one, to know that the trees she had walked past everyday were probably still on Earth – an ancient reminder of the travellers who had planted them, and then left them behind.

Robin returned to herself with a small smile. It didn’t bear thinking of anymore, and if she kept losing herself in thought then she was going to be late – again. She didn’t understand why, but for the first time in weeks, she felt sure of herself as she resumed walking. No looking around corners, expecting something to come hurdling towards her. No flinching away when she could feel someone walking behind her. It was hard to imagine where her confidence had come from. Just yesterday she had been a terrified mess, scooting from behind the cover of one plant to the next. It was amazing how much odd behaviour she could get away with just by letting people assume it was a ‘human thing’.

Confidence did many an interesting things to a person. It could make them sit up straighter, and take wider strides as they walk. It could make them bright, and attractive in that unspoken way. And it could, when unwarranted, lead people into a false sense of security that would, ultimately, leave them with only the tatters of their pride for company. Unfortunately for Robin, it was doing all three at once. Walking through the streets of Aya with a spring in her step, Robin failed to see the sneering young faces that trailed her movements. Maybe they were just as shocked by her sudden boldness as she was, and it left them wondering where sense of safety could be coming from. If the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up, she could only think that the breeze was slightly cooler that morning that it had been previously.

“I wouldn’t do that.” Robin whirled hearing the voice so close behind her. It took her a moment or two to register what she was seeing. The first thing she noticed was a hand raised, holding what looked to be an overripe Quilloa with a small rock stuffed inside it. She gasped and scrambled backwards, hoping to get out of range before she was seriously hurt. But then she saw another hand, stark and blue, gripping the wrist of her would-be assailant. Evfra’s face was prone to expressing anger. She could see it in the lines around his mouth. The scar running down his face made any down turn of his lips even more pronounced. Which is why she was confused to see his face utterly blank. No frown, or angry sneer. Just a complete void of expression.

 “Tell that alien to leave our home, _and_ our galaxy! We’ve seen what alien invaders do, she’s no better than the Kett – just more insidious.” The speaker was young, she could tell from his height, but he spoke with a conviction that came from years of resentment. For all that he had harassed her, Robin could only feel a sense of sadness for him. There was no Angaran young enough not to know the violent burning of growing up in a warzone.

“ ‘That alien’ is our guest. She was _invited_ to Aya, and is doing important work here. _You_ are an upstart, and a fool. Tell me, who out of the two of you has done more for our people?” Evfra’s defence of her was likely a show, but something in what he said had Robin looking at him in semi-wonder. He might not mean it, but it that didn’t meant he had to say it. He could simply have given an order or a threat. With a shake of the young Angaran’s hand, Evfra thrust him roughly back and let go. He turned to face her, looking angry where he had not before.

“Walk.” He barked, and Robin did, her shorter legs pedalling furiously to keep up with his strides.

This went on for some time, until the boy and his youthful anger were out of sight. Evfra’s annoyed silence continued on even afterwards, until Robin warily thought to breach it.

“Thank you, Evfra. I didn’t realise-.”

“I told you I would meet you in the morning.” His tone was biting, the admonishment very clear.

“Well, yes, but you weren’t there.”

“You should have waited.”

“I did! But you didn’t turn up, so I thought you’d come, lost patience, and left again.” He stopped abruptly, causing Robin to almost ram nose first against his chest. It might have been a delayed reaction to the situation she had nearly found herself, it might have been a response to Evfra’s ire, but she could feel herself becoming angry too. It’s one thing to give resistance soldiers and recruits orders, and be annoyed when they don’t follow them. It was another thing entirely to tell her how she was allowed to walk to work and get huffy when she didn’t bow and scrape like he wanted her to.

“Lost patience? Do I really seem like the type of person that would lose patience so quickly? I’ve commanded a bloody resistance for ten years.”

“Honestly? Yes. Yes, you do seem like that sort of person.” Robin screwed up her nose and did something she personally thought was very brave. She poked him in the chest, “You’ve been unpleasant to me since my first day on Aya. Then you come romping about, expecting me to act like someone under your command. I am not a soldier, and I am _not_ a simpleton! If I decided I wanted to leave without you, then you have no reason to be annoyed. Besides, you should have told me when you wanted to meet me. I can’t read minds, Evfra.” They looked at each other in tense silence for a long time, Robin growing more aware of the people around them stopping to look at the disturbance. Evfra didn’t look as though he was planning on saying anything, his gaze simply bore until she couldn’t stand the scrutiny any longer. With a frustrated grunt, she turned around and marched away – glad to see that they had nearly reached the Repository regardless. She didn’t look back, but it didn’t take much imagination to picture Evfra standing there, with that outraged expression frozen on his face. Or maybe that was just his natural look. Resting outrage face?

 

For the rest of her day, her colleagues seemed to keep a wide berth, scuttling away like anxious crabs when she stomped from room to room. How ridiculous! Who did he think he was? Well, other than the leader of the resistance and generally very important to all Angarans and their safety… Robin spent so much time being angry at Evfra, that she forgot almost entirely what had nearly happened to her. It was only when it was time to leave that she recalled the fruit with its malicious rock buried inside. Rotten fruit was relatively harmless. It stank, but it didn’t hurt anything other than her pride. She hadn’t thought it would escalate to something that could really harm her. But then again, what else had she expected would happen when they saw their tactics weren’t working?

“Robin?” Avela rested a hand on her shoulder, making her start, “Are you alright? You’ve been in a mood all day.”

“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“From my limited experience with humans, I have learned that generally when you say this, it is _not_ nothing, and it should be worried about.” Her expression was one of gentle concern, eyes big and imploring, “Tell me what has happened. You will feel better.” And so Robin did. She didn’t feel better, per se, but she felt a little more secure knowing that Avela’s sadness and anger over what had happened was because she genuinely cared.

“This has gone a little far, I think.” Avela said some time later, frowning as she took a seat beside Robin, “Evfra will make things safer for you, but in the meantime have you given any further thought to coming with us when we go to Elaaden?”

“Not really, but maybe I should. Just to get away for a little while.” What a sad beginning to her life in a new galaxy. It was strange to think how calm, how assured, she had felt just that same morning. But she had never let sad beginnings stop her before. Even sad endings could not keep her frozen for too long. Maybe that was called running away, but maybe, also, it was better than just accepting it. Elaaden was a hot planet, which really didn’t excite Robin at all, but she’d never seen the inside of a remnant building, so who knows what they might find.

“Well, I’ll put you down as a yes, that way we can take supplies for you. And if you change your mind, then it won’t be a big problem. You still have some time think about it, we won’t be leaving for some weeks yet.” With a final squeeze of Robin’s shoulder, Avela rose and returned to her own desk. She was planning on working late tonight, and usually Robin would stay to keep her company. But for tonight, she just wanted to go to sleep. She was already fantasising about her pillows. With a joint-cracking stretch, Robin climbed to her feet and bid her friend goodnight. Tomorrow would be better.

She was surprised to find Evfra waiting outside the Repository. She didn’t think he’d still walk with her after how she had lashed out at him. But then again, she looked at him from the corner of her eyes, he wasn’t petty. Just…angry.

The silence between them seemed different in the dark. More intimate, yet also far deeper. Talking to him was like shouting across a great cavern; they only seemed to hear each other in echoes. It wasn’t nice to know you weren’t liked, but Robin had faced that knowledge before, many times – everyone does at some point. But his anger was baffling, why it was directed at her she just couldn’t understand. She didn’t need to, she supposed, she just needed to accept. And with acceptance came a swallowing of her pride.

“I wanted to apolo-.”

“I’m sorry.”

“-gise…” Robin stopped walking to look at him in surprise. Lost in the midst of her own apology, she nearly didn’t hear him. It was too dark to really see his face, but Evfra paused too, and was regarding her quietly.

“You were right, this morning. I expected you to behave in a way you were not trained to do. And I have been curt with you. Please understand that…that is just my way.” She could hardly believe it. It was more than he’d ever said to her in one sentence, and there was no hint of snark or irritation behind it.

“I…well, thank you. But you weren’t completely wrong, I think. I know you have a lot to do, and I know I’m getting in the way.” She smiled at him, and though she could not see his expression, she saw him nod, and they resumed their walk. It seemed they wouldn’t speak even though the animosity between them was, if not dealt with, set aside for the time. If they could just find something similar between them, something that they could both understand or appreciate, then this could at least be a pleasant experience for them. Taking a second deep breath, Robin spoke up.

“Have you…had a good day?” She asked lamely, expelling air between her lips in a defeated sigh. Pathetic, Robin.

“There’s no need for small talk.” Evfra replied, not stopping for a moment.

“Is there something else you’d like to talk about?” She asked, knowing what his reply would be. But maybe he’d surprise her. He’d done so twice in one day, already.

“This isn’t a social activity. We don’t need to converse, I’m just here to make sure you don’t run into trouble _again_.”

“I think you’re wrong.” He did stop then, turning to give her a questioning look. Robin stuffed her hands in to her pockets, hoping that the burning in her finger tips would ease if she tucked them away from the cold air. She didn’t hurry to explain herself, instead she squinted into the distance, trying to make out shapes in the dark. With all the sounds of day gone until morning, the rush of the waterfalls was even louder. A great, hushed whisper sweeping across the city. It was deafening, she thought, if you let it be. Evfra didn’t push her to answer, which she found strangely comforting. As though he understood that sometimes thoughts needed a moment to be lost. Just a moment.

“Do you really want to do this for however long, in complete silence? Aside from making it look like you don’t trust me to walk around Aya by myself, especially since we argued in front of everyone, it wouldn’t be enjoyable for either of us. Besides,” Robin shrugged, beginning to move once again, “I _want_ to talk to you.” He seemed to be thinking about what she’d said, even though he didn’t actually reply. For a moment or two he simply watched her walking ahead.

She was disappointed when they ended their walk with nothing else said between them. When she bid Evfra goodnight, he just nodded and was gone – again without telling her when he wanted to meet her. Robin laughed quietly to herself. Well, he was hardly going to change. Not in one day, and not for her. She was still smiling when she went to sleep.

 

The next morning she did the wise thing and waited for Evfra to appear. He was earlier than he had been yesterday, but he was as quiet as ever. No matter how many questions she asked him, the best answer she would get would be a grunt or a few short words. That didn’t mean anything, Robin had never backed down from a challenge before. Well, she had, but not when it came to annoying someone into being friends with her. They’d find something to talk about. If all else failed, there was bound to be something they found equally annoying and they could be angry about it together. But the walk home with him that night was just as quiet as it had previously been.

That was how it went for a week. Robin would prod Evfra for answers, and she would manage to pull half of one out of him before they returned silence. She had to admit, at this point, she was beginning to lose hope. In fact, he’d probably stop walking her soon. Since the last confrontation, nothing had happened to her. There had been no Roekaar manifestos, no fruit incidents. There hadn’t even been the customary rude person in the Marketplace. One of her shoes was still stolen, which only confirmed her belief that there was an Angaran out there who was far more interested in human feet than they had any right to be. She wondered what Evfra would do if she told him about this. Just picturing the expression on his face made it almost worth it. But there was hardly anything he could do about it. Though it was frustrating, it wasn’t as though they sold shoes her size all over Aya. Or shoes in her foot shape.

It was dark and cold on the night Robin finally gave up. There was only so much effort she could waste before it just became frustrating. Evfra kept looking at her and squinting, as though he was trying see through her head and into her thoughts.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.” Robin blinked up at him in surprise, “Why?”

“You’re very quiet tonight.”

“Well, so are you. And every other night.”

“Ah.” Was all he replied with. She had taken to allowing her thoughts to wonder during their strolls home. Somewhere between her incessant chatting and Evfra’s expert avoidance of any and all conversation, they had stopped rushing to get away from one another. The silence was frustrating, to Robin at least, but it was easy. He would never admit it, but she thought Evfra secretly enjoyed having the quiet moments. Maybe that’s all it was. He had so much to do, so much responsibility resting on his shoulders, that he saw their walks as a moment for him to simply breathe. That was comforting, and Robin smiled at him, enjoying the bemused expression on his face more than she should. There was something spitefully pleasing about confusing Evfra with niceness.

“Tell me about where you come from.” His voice was quiet and sudden, each word marking the darkness with white fog. Robin hid her pleased grin by ducking her chin into her scarf.

“Earth? Or my home town?”

“Your home town. I want to hear about your home.” She thought for a long moment, but Evfra didn’t seem to mind. There were a few places she could say she was from. The tiny apartment she had shared with her sister. The even smaller one she had lived in on her own some years later. But somehow telling Evfra about that didn’t seem…enough. She wanted to share something honest, something she kept very close.

“When I was very young,” She began in soft tone, “I can remember looking at pictures of Earth from before the discovery of space flight. And I always thought they couldn’t be that old, because they didn’t look any different. Most of the big cities on Earth are sleek and shiny – not unlike Aya. But in the little town I was from, everything was still brick or weatherboard. My parents thought it would be good for my sister and me to be around a smaller community – safer. There were trees everywhere, like a great green wall keeping the outside world at bay.” If only it actually did, she thought to herself.

“Wasn’t it hard for you to leave them? Your family.” It was a question she’d been asked before, everywhere she went. Wasn’t it hard to leave them? Her answer was the same every time.

“There were was no one left to leave.” Nothing came from him in reply, but she could feel his eyes on her. Robin shrugged helplessly at him, as though to ask what else she could say. After a moment, he laid a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Robin.” It was the use of her name that surprised her as much as the quiet, heartfelt sentiment. And something else, something that made her look at the hand touching her – so much bigger than her own – and felt something growing. They stood like that for what seemed a long time, though in truth it could have been mere seconds. He was looking at her in an oddly open way, his expression not exactly blank but as though he were unsure of how he was feeling. She couldn’t fathom why she felt so much like laughing in that moment. Instead, as Evfra let his hand fall softly back to his side, Robin did what she had seen him do countless time. She turned on her heel, nodded a wordless goodnight and slipped inside her house. Not before flashing him a final, parting grin.

He stood there for a time, she knew because she spying on him through a crack in the blinds. Evfra looked at his hand and then back towards her door. There was the smallest of smiles on his face when he turned away – too small for even him to notice.


	4. Blushing Breakthrough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again friends! I'm sorry this update took so long, I ran into some internet troubles when I got home from Uni. 
> 
> Unfortunately, my practical experience begins next week, and it lasts for 20 days (so a month, as weekends will be spent making lesson plans). I won't be able to update during this time, but I can promise that I will be working on a new chapter whenever I have a free moment. I do give regular updates on the writing process on my tumblr, if any of you are worried that I haven't updated for a while.
> 
> Again, I want to say thank you to all of you. You have no idea how ridiculously excited I get when I see someone has left kudos or a comment :)
> 
> This chapter is spoiler free.

It never ceased to amaze, Avela thought as she watched the two figures from her place a while behind them, how oblivious certain individuals could be. She spent most of her time with her nose as deep into her work as it could get without managing to suffocate herself…completely. And even she was beginning to smirk behind her hand at what she was seeing. Which meant that other Angarans had noticed as well, but what their reactions were to the unfolding events was hard to say. Some, surely would be disapproving. But most, she was near certain, would be totally and utterly confused. Perplexed. Puzzled. Mind boggled? She wasn’t sure, exactly, what boggling was and how minds managed to do it, but Robin mentioned hers doing it frequently. 

The first time she’d seen Robin lay a hand on Evfra’s arm, she’d expected him to shrug it off. But rather, he just looked at it for a moment, as though he couldn’t understand where it came from or how it had managed to get on him. He proceeded to stare into the distance in a state of utter bafflement until Robin said something and took off, leaving Evfra behind to frown at nothing and no one in particular. Robin did a lot of that; casually touching and then running off, completely unaware of the confusion she left in her wake. Avela had to laugh, though it was partially in disbelief. There had been moments where she had seen an expression other than gruff disapproval on Evfra’s face, but they were few and far between, and never twice in the span of a month. So far, she had seen him look utterly lost at least once a day – no matter how he tried to brush it off. She had once – though she still wasn’t sure if it had actually happened, or if her over-tired mind was having her on – seen Evfra cut off an associate mid-sentence, claiming he had something to do. Not much above a handful of moments later, she saw him again, Robin trailing beside him, mouth running a mile a minute.

As for Robin, the girl spent half her time imploring him into conversation with those strange human eyes of her or teasing him (the fact that he allowed her to get away with that was shocking all on its own). The other half of her day was used up on smiling quietly to herself. Even submerged in her work, there was always something that made the corners of her mouth tug upwards in a soft, secretive way. At the end of her day, she scrambled to get her things together, and was gone from the Repository before anyone to could call her back. After a while, Avela noticed that she always left a small puff of scent behind her. When had she started wearing perfume? 

And yet, for all their mooning about each other – and there was no denying that that’s what they were doing, each in their way – neither one seemed to notice the other doing it. Even now she could see them glancing at one another when they thought no one could see. Robin said something that had Evfra sputtering, his face alight with emotion. Laughing, she pushed his arm, and then that strangely confused expression was on him again. No one, Avela thought with something close to an idea forming in her head, would believe her if she told them about this. Well, no one who hadn’t seen it at least, and even those who had would be pushed to actually think they hadn’t imagined the whole thing. Grinning with mischief, she hurried her footsteps in order to catch up with the pair. 

Reaching them, the strains of their conversation drifted back to her, and Avela had to take a moment to make sure the man she was hearing speak was actually Evfra.

“Angara have…a lot of siblings.” He was saying, “My family wasn’t any different. I am not sure if I am jealous or sorry that you had only the one. Fewer people to miss, I guess. Fewer people to have memories with, too.” What happened to Evfra’s family was no great secret, it was also not uncommon – not among the Angara. If asked, he would speak of it, bluntly and with little mention of what it meant to him now, all these years later. There was silence between them then, and it was a wonder that neither of them noticed she was so close behind them.

“There are plenty of memories with just the one, believe me.”

“Yes.” They bumped together, Evfra looking down on Robin’s head, “I suppose you’re right.” Avela hesitated to interrupt, for some reason she felt that something profoundly important was happening, but she also didn’t want to be accused of lurking. Plus, there was work to do – there was always work to do. Taking a breath, she cleared her throat and choked back a laugh when the two sprang apart, Robin whirling to look behind.

“Oh! Avela, sorry. I didn’t notice you behind us. How long…?”

“Not, er, long.” Long enough, she wanted to add. “Morning, Evfra. On your way to the Repository?” Stupid question, Avela. You’d make a terrible spy.

“Of course. I’m surprised you’re not there yet.” Robin’s face was bright pink, right up to the very tips of her ears. Evfra remained quiet during their exchange, but not in his usual, taciturn way. Rather, he was staring resolutely out the scenery of Aya, his cheeks a stain darker – though Avela wasn’t sure.

“Yes, I left later today.” A lie, “I was hoping to catch you before you got all the way there for no reason.” Also a lie. In fact, she’d a range of tasks for Robin to do today, including diving into the archives to find out as much about the documented musical instruments they had from Havarl’s ruins to see if she could find anything that matched the artefact Ryder had brought them. But the burgeoning idea had now bloomed in full, and Avela thought it was best to make use of it while they still had time. Their excursion to Elaaden was only a few days away, and she wanted to give whatever was happening between them a chance to, well, happen. 

“Is something wrong?” Robin asked, stepping closer. Avela shook her head, waving a hand to reassure her colleague.

“No, no. Nothing like that. I simply wanted to tell you that you…you’re not needed today. Yes, um, we are meeting with the scientific team today. And you, as you’ve said, are not a scientist.” Robin looked confused. Perhaps her mind was being baffled.

“All day?”

“Yes. Absolutely. All day. All of the…just the whole day – scientists. So, you’re free! Best make use of it, you won’t have time for relaxation or sight-seeing on Elaaden. Go out and see some of what Aya has to offer. There’s a wonderful waterfall not far from here, Evfra knows where it is.” Avela grinned as she said this, offering them a poor attempt at an innocent expression. She didn’t wait for another response, she knew one of them would eventually wheedle out of it if she lingered. She didn’t look back as she sped away. Passing them in person also passed them from her mind, and she really was having a meeting with the scientific team. It may not actually last the whole day, but meetings with them always felt like they did. And when that was over, she had almost a dozen messages from researchers on Voeld. Apparently they’d found something monumental in the ruins.

 

Robin watched her go with her brows raised. Why was she so jumpy? Though Avela’s moods could be sporadic, this was out of the way – even for her. No matter how strange her behaviour, the fact that Robin now had nothing to do for the rest of the day remained the same. She turned to Evfra, who looked as muddled as she felt.

“She must have stayed awake during the night, again. She always does strange things when she’s been awake for more than two days at a time.” 

“I don’t have much to do with her, is she like this often?” He asked after a while. Robin shrugged in answer. There was a type of untethered feeling between them, making them flutter around each other without actually moving. Walking to and from the Repository had become their pattern, both easy and familiar. Now that she didn’t need to go, she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. And likely, judging by the way he simply stood and waited, Evfra didn’t know either.

“Well,” Robin began, “I guess this was a bit of a wasted effort for you. I…well, I could just go home. There’s no need for you to walk all the way back.” But Evfra said nothing, and made no move to leave. She looked down at her hands, finding them fidgeting, before taking a breath, “Unless you’d like to-.”

“Yes.” He said with a suddenness that startled her, and apparently himself if the look on his face was anything to go by, “I mean, if you were to go about by yourself, it’d defeat the purpose of escorting you. Obviously.”

“Obviously.” Robin replied, grinning, “So, tell me. Where is it you’ve agreed to go with me?” He opened his mouth as though to give her the snarky sort of answer he usually did, until it dawned on him that, in his eagerness, he hadn’t given her the chance to finish her request. At last he settled for giving her an irritated look, though the sting it used to carry had long been taken out of it. Laughing, Robin took hold of him, “Come on. There is actually something I want to show you”. It was a few moments before either of them realised her hand had slipped comfortably inside his own. She didn’t let go, and Evfra didn’t pull away. Robin was left, then, to decide what it meant or if it really meant anything at all. But she did know that his hand was large, and swallowed hers completely, but did not feel too big to hold. And maybe that meant something too.

 

“You wanted to show me…the wilderness?” Evfra looked around, and though he was trained to notice anything that stood out or could pose a threat, he couldn’t find anything that would make Robin drag him through the Aya marketplace, across the docking bay, down the stairs to the lower levels, and out of the city centre. 

“Yes, actually.” Robin was walking a little way ahead of him, eyes darting from place to place as though she was looking for something. With her attention captured elsewhere, it gave him the chance to observe her at his leisure. He couldn’t say, really, why he always felt on the brink of something when he was with her. And it was activating his flight or fight instinct, but he could neither figure out what was causing it nor what his response was. Did he want to flee? Yes, definitely. He felt like running in the exact opposite direction when he laid eyes on her. But the moment she was out of sight, he was compelled to run right back. Did he want to fight? Always. His life was forged in fighting, whether it was Kett or political obstacles. And he was fighting when he was with her, but it was nothing he could see or touch. It was a fight against the startling grip of her eyes, catching him with a piercing precision. It was a fight against the contagious excitement he felt when she spoke about things she was passionate about. And it was a fight against the agonising way she made his heart pound, echoing all the way through his head. He didn’t want it, but he couldn’t help it when she turned around and smiled at him like she was doing in that moment. She had taken his hand, and though she had soon released him, he could still feel her fingers resting so gently against his own. He felt it like a burning, scalding him right to the bone. For some reason, he knew he always would.

“Here! Come see.” She waved him over, bouncing from foot to foot. He hadn’t seen a smile on her face quite this big before, which both made his pulse stutter and captured his curiosity. Evfra made his way to the place she was indicating, not sure what he was expecting. What he found was…anticlimactic. 

“Yellow flowers.” From her expression, she had clearly expected a stronger reaction, so he offered her the best response he could think of, “They’re very nice, Robin.” Robin blinked at him, and he could almost see her mind working. And then, seemingly without motive, she burst into laughter. 

“I should have known.” She said, stooping to pick one of the strangely cup-shaped blooms, “You’re not a botanist, you’d hardly know all the types of flowers on Aya.”

“No?” 

“So,” she brought it to her nose and breathed deeply, then offered it to him, “you wouldn’t really know if a particular flower wasn’t native.”

“Ah. No.” The realisation dawned on him, “Is it from Meridian?” Robin shook her head, her excitement even more obvious now that he was closer. Her eyes were shining, piercing him right through.

“It’s from Earth. We call them Daffodils.” 

“Did you plant these?”

“Mhm. But don’t worry, I got permission. The team from the Nexus has been running tests to see how many of our plants are compatible with the different environments and flora in Heleus. We had these, back home.” Her voice became quiet in the way he had noticed it doing whenever she spoke about her family, “My sister and I planted them outside the kitchen window, when we were kids.” He was not sure what he should say, but he found that he wanted to give her something comforting. She spoke in a way he recognised – a familiarity that tragedy often used to bind individuals together. It was not unusual among Angara, but it seemed sad that even a world that had no Kett could carry the same misfortunes.

“They seem a happy sort of flower.” Evfra offered, taking it between his fingers. The stem was surprisingly sturdy for such a flimsy looking plant.

“No.” Robin said, head turned to regard the sunny patch of them growing together, “They’re not really. Some people think they stink, but I like them”. He mulled this information over, thinking that there must be more to it. What great tragedy could flowers be involved in? Unless they were poisonous, but he doubted she’d be so liberal with her handling of them if they were. Or maybe she was underestimating just how much they stank. He held it a little further away – just to be sure.  
It was obvious to see why this was important to her, even if he couldn’t figure out why it was also clearly sad. It was inconceivable, leaving behind not only your home planet, but your entire home system in order to travel to a galaxy that was crumbling. She and her people had left their homes, traded them in for little more than ruins. But now there something familiar in it all, something that made it home. And that surprised him – that he wanted them to think of it that way. Humans were frustrating, true. Even the ones he liked were vexing in the extreme – the one he was currently with was absolutely not an exception. But they were innovative, and extremely resilient if Ryder was anything to go by. Aya would have been safe for some years longer, but the other settlements? He was not ashamed to admit that Ryder and the rest of the Initiative had done what the Angara alone could never do. So they deserved to feel at home here, and it didn’t hurt they brought weapons and a unique fighting style. Well, he hid a grin as a stole a look at Robin who was preoccupied with waving away a particularly persistent insect, not all humans had a unique fighting style – although, her efforts at slapping the bug was rather interesting. No, some of them had minds like he’d never known before, a curiosity for knowledge that awed him, sometimes. And a bea-…and apparently the ability to turn him into a bloody poet. With that in mind, Evfra felt annoyed with himself. 

“Robin, I’m…grateful that you shared this with me. But unfortunately, I have some things I need to do.”

“Oh? ‘Some things’, he says.” She laughed, and he noticed strangely for the first time that her nose wrinkled when she did, “How mysterious. Alright, that’s enough of our gardening adventure. I guess our roles are reversed today, I’ll be walking you to work.”

“It seems so.” Evfra was smiling as they began their slow meander back to civilisation.

“Does that mean I get to be the intimidating and infinitely cranky Resistance leader, while you’re the fey-like, outrageously intelligent historian?” He did actually laugh then, even if it was only a small chuckle. It felt…too good.

“Absolutely not.”

“I don’t see why not. Did you see how valiantly I defended you from that bug? I was impressed.”

“That is, after all, what the Resistance is about. Impressing yourself.” 

“You know, Evfra, I hate to bring a serious note to this conversation but,” Robin turned to him, her eyes were clear and bright, like gems, and he felt his stomach flip, “I’m very good at impressing myself. You should consider recruiting me, really.” His opinion of that statement must have shown on his face, as Robin scoffed and gave him a push.

“Have you ever even fired a gun?” 

“No, but I can make a biotic shield really well.”

“I’ve heard about what some of your Asari can do. It’d seem like a story, if I hadn’t seen it for myself.” She mentioned her family more than her biotic ability, he hadn’t failed to notice it. He was aware that there was some stigma amongst humans against human biotics, but he’d never managed to understand why. Robin wore a guarded expression, suddenly, so he knew to tread carefully, “I’ve never seen you use your biotics to do things like that.”

“That’s because I can’t.” She shrugged, “I can just make shields. Absolutely useless at doing anything else, nobody has ever managed to figure out why. It’s all for the best. If I could do more, then I’d be too impressive and you’d be out of a job. Plus, I’ve got your brooding look down pat. I’m over qualified, really.” Brooding look? He didn’t brood. Did he?

“That’s not the sort of thing you can say without proof, Robin.”

“There’s a challenge if ever I’ve heard one. Fine, prepare to eat your words!” Robin turned him, shook back her hair, and closed her eyes for a moment. Evfra found his breath catching. Opening her eyes, she pursed her lips in an angry pout, a frown wrinkling between her brows. She glared up at him, her expression more sullen than anything else. How could he ever have thought she was strange looking? Seeing her was like music, playing softly through the bustle of a busy street. Something sweet. Something other. And he just couldn’t help it, with her looking at him with so much laughter twitching at the corner of her mouth. Just a touch. He thought he needed it. But, just like music drifting quietly through the street, it was not from him, or for him, and it would not be where he was going. Evfra lifted a hand and tweaked her chin, turning away before he could not resist anything else. 

“It needs a little work.” Robin didn’t reply, her cheeks were dark with colour. The remainder of their walk was quietly spent. He thought it for the best, so he did not draw her into conversation again. In private, it might be alright to let his guard down – show something of himself. But midst of the city centre, where he needed to be the intimidating, stern presence he had cultivated, it was best to let whatever was between them be left behind. Their small intimacies would be his secret.  
And yet, for all that, those who saw the pair return could not help but feel that they were in a bubble of their own – a private world they could see but never really know.

 

Robin spent the rest of her day thinking about the first part. They hadn’t spent more than an hour or so together, and she personally felt it was a little ridiculous of her to spend almost ten times that just thinking about that one hour.  
Sitting at her desk that night, Robin looked at the framed picture that was always kept near. The face of her sister looked back. That expression never failed to make her laugh, it was a family trait that both of them had inherited – the inability to take a photogenic picture. Her sister’s one eye was closed a little more than the other, and the smile that was frozen on her face looked more stunned than something of joy. They didn’t look much alike, for all that their expressions matched. They had the same hair, and the same, dark eyes. But the shape of their features were different, their personalities too. Her sister had been a soft-spoken, frighteningly intelligent person, with a temper as fragile as spun glass. She had also been older than Robin by a few years, and overprotective in a way that often set the sisters at each other’s throats. Familiarity breeds contempt, as the saying went. Her picture was always a comfort, Robin had found it easy to work through her problems when she spoke them aloud to it. She’d spent hours at university talking to that picture.

“I just don’t understand.” She was saying, as though she expected a response, “It wasn’t like this before”. She’d never felt her heart racing quite as fast as when Evfra’s fingers had touched her face. And that included all the times the various digs sites she had been at collapsed on top of her and her team. Funny how often they tended to do that. Well, less funny and more a really unfortunate coincidence that seemed to happen to her more often than it possibly should. Sure, she’d felt nervous around Evfra before, the man inspired nerves better than a test. But standing with him, there between the trees, it had felt like someone had suddenly pushed her off a cliff. Breathless and terrified, but somewhere beneath it a sense of exhilaration. How was she going to face him tomorrow if she couldn’t stop the fluttery feeling in her stomach whenever she thought about him? Her face was feeling warm again, and Robin pushed away from her desk with a grunt of frustration. But she was smiling as she did, try as she might not to. 

“Just forget it, and focus on tomorrow. You need to pack, and you need to file your progress report for the Nexus.” It was really more a report for the Moshae, she tended to keep an eye on Robin and the other Nexus people who were stationed on Aya before passing it on to the Embassy. Robin hadn’t filed hers for a couple of weeks, mainly because she hadn’t really had anything else to add. She didn’t have anything to add now, if she was being honest about it. What could she say? ‘Evfra and I are friends now, we banter playfully and today he touched my face and I thought I was going to pass out – I’m still trying to understand why’. Honestly, if anyone found out she spent her morning flirting shamelessly, she’d probably be sent to one of the outposts. That pulled her up short. Is that really what she was doing? Flirting? She’d never managed to do that before, but then again she’d never really been interested. There was that ill-fated crush on Kandros, but half of the Nexus had a crush on him, so that really didn’t count.

“I wonder if I’m any good at it…” She murmured incredulously to the empty space of her apartment. And she wondered if she’d continue to be able to do it now that she’d noticed it. Though she wanted to think about it more, there came the familiar ‘blip-blip’ of her terminal signalling she had a new message. It was from Avela; a list of things she’d have to bring to Elaaden. Their trip was set to begin in the next four days, and she had no idea how long they would be away. Maybe it would give her some time to think through her slightly shocking, personal breakthrough. 

That, however, did not help her decide how to act when seeing Evfra the next morning. Robin went to bed that night with her stomach twisted in knots, and her face wreathed in smiles.


	5. Learning to Un-Feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I want to thank you all for your patience. It has been a long time since I updated, I know it's frustrating when you're waiting for another chapter for so long, so I really appreciate it!
> 
> I also want to say thank you for the continued support I'm receiving for this fanfiction. It's literally the most exciting thing to see someone has left a kudos or a comment, and it's what keeps me so eager to write for you. I love writing, and it's the best thing in the world when someone else enjoys my work. I hope you guys like this chapter, as it's the beginning of the adventure!
> 
> This chapter contains spoilers.

“Evfra.” The voice came from behind him. The sound of it sent a rigid jolt up his spine, even though he’d known it was coming. Sighing, he turned towards the Moshae, careful to make sure his face was only wearing its usual veneer of vague annoyance. He knew why she was here, and he knew why she was wearing that self-satisfied expression on her face.

 

“Moshae Sjefa. We have a meeting in an hour or so, shouldn’t you be preparing?”

 

“I’m ready. And you’re not avoiding this conversation that easily.” Her smile drew wide, eyes gleaming with glee, “People have been talking, you know.”

 

“People always talk. I find it best not to listen.” This conversation was one long in coming. In fact, the minute he began spending both the beginning and the end of his day with not only an alien, but one who had no connection to the Resistance in any way, he knew he would be required to make some form of explanation. It seemed an easy thing, at first. She was being harassed, and he was doing something about it. But then, of course, he kept doing something about even when it seemed the threat had gone. And then he took it a step further by putting off conversations and cutting short meetings. Of course people had a right to be concerned, he was concerned himself. How could he allow his priorities to be so diverted? And yet they were. So, the cavalry was called in, and with all the weight behind her name, the Moshae was the one chosen to deliver his reprimand. It was unfortunate timing, Evfra personally thought – though she likely hoped that the time constraint would force him to be more open, or make a mistake. The Moshae had, wisely perhaps, chosen the day of a particularly important meeting for her confrontation. There were only a handful moments to spare before the various Resistance officials would be linking into a vidcall. This conversation, in particular, was not one he wanted his colleagues to overhear. It wasn’t one he wanted to have, even, for reasons he would rather not think about.

 

“Oh yes. ‘People’ are chatty.” She moved around the table in his office, inspecting the room as though she’d never been in it before, “So, how’s Robin? She’s settled in well? She’s making friends?”

 

“She’s happy, I presume” Evfra hunched his shoulders, aware that he was beginning to look a lot like this ‘turtle’ Ryder had once compared him to.

 

“You don’t know?” She folded her arms nonchalantly behind her, “Didn’t the two of you go for a nice, long walk yesterday? Alone? Into the woodland?”

 

“Your interrogation skills need work.”

 

“I’m not wrong, am I?” With a smug incline of her head, she took Evfra’s silence as acquiescence, “Your evasive manoeuvres need work. Surprising, for the leader of the Resistance.”

 

“Get to the point, Moshae, we both have things to do before the meeting.” Her prodding was doing what it was meant to do – annoy him. Evfra had a brittle temper on most days, though he didn’t personally feel it was unreasonable. He was, however, willing to admit that on this occasion…he was angering faster than usual. Who was the Moshae to question who he spent his personal time with? The fact that it had not only been ‘personal’ time he had spent with Robin nagged softly in the back of his mind.

 

“I don’t believe I’m making one.” The Moshae replied, “But I certainly think _you_ are. To just about everyone who’s interacted with you these past few weeks.”

 

“Should I have left her to be harassed, then? Paid as little attention to your human historian, as you did?” He snarled, shoving away from his desk in irritation, “If you hadn’t turned a blind eye to-!”

 

“I do not disapprove, Evfra.”

 

“…What?” It came out like a bark, shocking the silent room as much as her statement had shocked him.

 

“I said,” Moshae Sjefa gave him a gentle look, which possible annoyed him most, “that I don’t disapprove. Of the relationship between you and Robin, that is. In fact-.”

 

“I’m going to make this very clear to you, now before you get any ideas. There is no relationship between me and Robin. And there certainly never will be. Taking care of her safety is my duty, like it is my duty to care for all of Aya’s safety.”

 

“ _I’m glad to hear it.”_ Evfra and the Moshae spun around at the sound of the new voice. The blinking light of his terminal told him the unfortunate news. True to her timing, the Moshae had managed to run their conversation into meeting time. Looking at the numbers in bottom of the terminal, Evfra could see it wasn’t just one caller who had turned up earlier than convenient. They were all there, ready and waiting. A moment later, Evfra could hear chuckling. His eyes slid to the Moshae who, surprisingly, looked as put out as he felt.

 

“ _You look surprised Evfra, surely you were aware that rumours of your involvement with this human had reached even Voeld?_ ” It was a new speaker. Anjik do Xeel. She always had a certain tone to her voice, a sincerity that even other Angara could not mimic. But along with it was steel, and a grip on Voeld like a vice. She was one of Evfra’s most valued commanders, considering the size of the resistance forces on his home planet, she was also one of his most influential. Even the Roekaar found the time to take their brains out of their arses to listen to Anjik – they wouldn’t necessarily do as they were asked. Though, with Askkul no longer at their command, they had become more reasonable. Unfortunately, with this greater grasp of reason came a better sense of organisation.

 

“I am surprised rumours of something that does not exist has managed to spread so far. Do you really have so little to be doing with the Archon gone?” As was typical to her character Anjik laughed in response to Evfra’s taciturn comment.

 

“ _Make light as you will, Evfra de Tershaav,”_ It was Onran who was speaking now, “ _but the Roekaar have made note of this. You show much liberty with these creatures. You let them settle on_ our _planets. You let them use_ our _resources. They have mastered_ our _technology. They have managed to do what took the Kett nearly a hundred years, and some things the Kett never could. Tell us again these aliens are not a threat. They may not be a life-threatening wound like Kett were, but they certainly are a disease that will kill us nonetheless. Look at what they have done to Kadara._ ” Akksul was a good leader, if one ignored his cause. He was charismatic, and he was a good fighter. But Akksul was unhinged, which made him careless. His anger made him predictable. Onran, however, was calculating and careful. Though he lacked Akksul’s charm and support, he had a better command of strategy and sensibility. Which meant he was dangerous in a way Akksul never was. Where Akksul appealed to people’s passions, Onran appealed to their logic. A century of war had led to a population that felt their emotions deeply, yes, but had learned that it was logic that saved them.

 

“ _Oh shut-up, Onran. The aliens are here to stay, and it’s thanks to them that we’ve even got the time to listen to you flap your cheeks.”_

 

“ _As always, Kiiran, vital conversation goes over your ahead entirely._ ”

 

“ _Is that what that noise is?_ ” Kiiran’s outburst was followed by a muffled snicker that Evfra strongly suspected came from the Moshae. The Pathfinder’s efforts on Havarl had done much to create a friendship with the Angara, and Kiiran was always first to champion their cause. The animosity between her and Onran had been brewing for some time – most of Onran’s Roekaar were stationed on Havarl. To say Kiiran wanted them gone was an unfortunately mild understatement.

 

“ _I appreciate that the comportment of these aliens on Kadara has been less than desirable,_ ” Anjik broke through the tension, her voice reasonable and firm, “ _but let us be clear: Kadara was a cesspool before the people from the Nexus ever entered our galaxy. What they have achieved in the meantime-._ ”

 

“ _Oh yes, their corrupt government and criminal society is truly something to look up to.”_

“ _As I was saying,_ ” Anjik ignored Onran’s interruption, though her irritation was clear to hear, “ _They achieved something amazing. Angaran physiology is compatible with-._ ”

 

“ _Yes!_ ” Kiiran burst out, “ _We are compatible with Asari. Already, on Kadara, an Asari civilian and one of our own has managed to reproduce! Astounding, really, what they are capable of!_ ” Evfra felt his brow raise, it was not the first time he’d hear of this but it was new to hear it spoken of with such enthusiasm. It was well known to him that Keema was in the Charlatan’s pocket, and that the Charlatan was, naturally, an alien. He didn’t much admire her underhanded methods, but Evfra did appreciate how she played her pieces. The Charlatan and his people were pleased, the Angara who were not Roekaar were pleased. And those who weren’t were swiftly shown off the planet, or sent comfortably into the Badlands. Not neat, not at all, and not a permanent solution by any means – but Kadara port was civilised enough for his tastes. Though he had received several communications from Jaal bemoaning the place. But Jaal could afford to be moralistic where Evfra was forced to be practical.

 

“ _Truly, it is astounding._ ” The level of civility in his voice was a clear sign of just how angry Onran was, “ _It is astounding and quite frankly disgusting. Listen to how you speak! Talking of these Asari as though they are the dominant species. Which, they very much were in this ‘Milky-Way’. Is this not precisely what the Kett were doing all these years? The population that came here on their Arks and this Nexus of theirs is but a miniscule portion of them, if we are to believe their stories of their home galaxy. It took the Kett almost a century to ruin us, and they had a population of armed soldiers that was twice as large as ours. These Milky-Way aliens do not have half that, and they succeeded where we could not. Think what would happen to us if the rest of their galaxy decided to migrate? We would be overrun and destroyed within a handful of years._ ”

 

“What is it you propose we do, Onran? These aliens have been allies to us, they have obeyed our laws and customs. Some of them have even become our friends. Would you have us annihilate them?” Moshae Sjefa was pacing before the terminal, her steps swift and agitated, “Would you have us lull them in their trust, then slaughter them one by one. The Angara are better people than that, or would you have us stoop to the same depravity as the Kett?”

 

“ _I appreciate your ethos, Moshae. I only wish that this was the right place for it. There are those of us who must sacrifice our morals for the future of our people. We cannot let a misguided sense of honour allow us to become victims, again._ ” Onran’s statement was followed by a cacophony voices. Some were agreeing, some were outraged that he would paint such a black picture of the Angara. Evfra was certain he heard a familiar voice say something about Onran’s flapping cheeks and wishing she had been referring to his mouth. Evfra was slightly discomfited to hear Onran repeat a sentiment he had expressed within his thoughts moments ago. The thought that he and the Roekaar leader were similar in many ways was a comfortable one. Evfra felt his lip twitch as he tried to shake the suspicion free, which was a sure sign that this meeting was becoming a…what was it Robin called it? A shit-storm? A disgusting metaphor, but not entirely incorrect.

 

“The decision in regards to our _allies_ have been made. We want peace, and they need a home. We can hardly send them back, Onran. It would be a death sentence, they barely survived the journey here.” Evfra paused for breath but did not wait long, knowing that the new Roekaar leader was eager for the people from the Nexus to be sent away, “The unfortunate truth is that, though the Archon is dead – the Kett are not. Defeating the Archon was an act of war, the first of which we truly succeeded in. If we send away our only allies, what defences will we have left when the Kett decide they have had enough of toying with us? We need our alien allies, but not more than they need us. You waste your time searching for new enemies, Onran. And it is stupid. A wiser leader would manipulate the advantages we have been given in this alliance, rather than seeking a way to return the Angara to our subject state. All this, however, is pointless conjecture. This meeting wasn’t called for Onran to repeat his usual diatribe. It was called because, despite your attempts to drive our focus on an issue that has already been settled, the Kett are still a problem. Scattered, yes, but a problem. And I want them gone. Anjik, tell us what you’ve found.”

 

“ _Right. Thank you._ ” She paused before speaking again, the pitch of her voice notched slightly higher, showing her excitement, “ _With help from the Pathfinder, the resistance here on Voeld has discovered a way for us to infiltrate the Kett facility keeping us out of Jaar Nix. We still need to retake the ancient city, but we have the numbers. And with Ryder, we have almost a guaranteed success. Our initial scans of the city have shown enormous energy readings. We_ know _there is something there, and with readings like that we theorise it may a weapon of some sort – why else would the Kett be so eager to excavate?_ ”

“ _This Pathfinder has been charting our maps for too long already! Are you truly so helpless without them? You expose them to a weapon that is potentially the making of us as a force to be reckoned with, and you expect everyone to be pleased?_ ” Onran had stopped attempting to control his voice, shouting. Through the screen on the terminal, Evfra could see him begin to pace.

 

“ _I am not asking for your pleasure. I am asking for help, we need extra forces to retake Jaar Nix. The Kett have set up explosives, and they have Angara captives._ ” Anjik countered, brushing Onran and his irritation aside like crumbs off a table.

 

“It sounds more like a covert undertaking than one requiring brute force,” The Moshae began, her arms folded across her body.

 

“ _Well, yes and no. We don’t know if the Kett will sacrifice themselves, and thereby our people, to keep us from getting to whatever is down there, so we must be careful. But we have no way of breaking through the shield they’ve set up around it without Ryder. Unless, of course,_ you _have an AI that could do the trick, Onran?_ ”

 

“ _That would explain why he never seems able to think for himself._ ” Kiiran interjected. Evfra shot her look that had her snapping her mouth shut with an audible ‘click’ of her teeth.

 

“ _We need to work together on this, even the Roekaar._ ”

 

“ _Absolutely not. If that Pathfinder is there, the Roekaar are not. Simple as that. Will you choose these ‘allies’ of yours over your own people?_ ”

 

“ _Oh skies above, Onran. Didn’t you hear Anjik? We need Ryder’s AI, it’s the only way in. And let us all take a moment to remind ourselves of the Roekaar’s actions on Havarl. You have been steadily slaughtering innocent Angarans as it suits you, so don’t make out as though the Roekaar are the victims. Havarl has seen how you and yours would handle the situation, and we’d all be bloody dead in a matter of weeks. You are angry, we all are, but your anger has made you petty and stupid and Havarl is tired of it._ ”

 

“ _Havarl belongs to the Roekaar as much as it does to any other Angara. I regret those actions, but it was not done under my command. However, the loyalty of those gathered is clear – it’s Evfra’s precious humans and their friends over his people. I’ll not offer any of the lives of my men in exchange for handing power out of our hands. You think me a fanatic now, but as Anjik pointed out earlier, even Voeld has noticed him cavorting with his little human pet. Put her on a leash, Evfra, before she bites your hand._ ” The small window containing Onran’s video feed suddenly went black, and the terminal showed one less person taking part in the vidcall than before.

 

The room was silent for a moment, and Evfra had to admit that this conversation could have gone more smoothly. Previous interactions with Onran had proven he was slower to anger than Akksul, which meant Evfra’s association with Robin was an issue the Roekaar must feel strongly about. While there was no reason he had to cater to them, the general Angaran population knew they were fanatics and outcasts, it was safer to keep them at least semi-satisfied.

 

“ _I hate to say it, Evfra, but Onran is right._ ” Anjik was first to break the silence, “ _Whilst I am not against the aliens by any means, in fact I am relieved to have them with us – no matter what they offer by means of military support – it is not wise for you to put her so openly on display. Feel what you feel, but be discrete about it, unless you want her to be more of a target than she is. We know what they are capable of when pushed._ ”

 

“There are no _feelings_ for me to feel.” Evfra spat out, gripping the back of his chair until his knuckles lost colour, “I did as the Moshae asked, that was all. Get back to the point of this discussion.”

 

“ _You need extra forces?_ ” Kiiran swooped in, clearly trying to smooth things over. She was always difficult while Onran remained present, but the moment he was gone, she was nothing business. Make her opponent think she’s little more than boisterous fool, and he will under estimate her, “ _We need all the military we can get. Between the Roekaar stealing supplies, and Havarl’s wildlife, we have no men to spare. But we have scientists. Our work has progressed remarkably since the Nexus sent us scientists of their own. We could spare engineers as well. We may not be able help you destroy the facility and retake Jaar Nix, but we can help you understand it._ ”

“ _Thank you, Kiiran. It is appreciated, we have engineers of our own on Voeld, as you know, but they are needed at the base._ ”

 

“When are you planning the attack?” Evfra asked, his mind flagging behind. For some reason his heart was racing.

 

“ _Undecided as of yet. Ryder along with some of our scouts are making note of Kett patrols. Our scientists and technicians are currently developing a device that will allow this SAM to infiltrate the shield. Initial tests on a similar force has shown that it can break through the shield but only for a few seconds at a time. We doubt we will be able to dismantle the shield entirely from the outside._ ”

 

“I want regular updates, Anjik. Even on the testing process.” Evfra watched her nod her head firmly before answering questions from the rest present at the meeting. One by one, they slowly disconnected, until he was left with only the Moshae and one other.

 

“ _Avela has kept in contact with me quite regularly._ ” Kiiran began cautiously, “ _She’s told me quite a bit about this Robin. Personally, she sounds remarkable. Possibly brilliant. That’s all I have to say._ ” And then, Kiiran too had disconnected.

 

Evfra felt himself literally sag, head bent over in thought. Anjik had made an apt point – do not make Robin more of a target than she had to be. This false belief in his affection for her made her exactly what he had been trying to avoid, which would explain why her adolescent harassers had been strangely silent since their confrontation in the marketplace. He should send her away, or set up an increased guard, or-.

 

“You look constipated, Evfra.” He started, completely forgetting that the Moshae was still in the room.

 

“I… _you_ ,” He levelled an accusing finger at her, “you have made this more of an issue than it needs to be. If you believe in some fanciful entanglement involving me and that human historian, then surely it must be true. That’s what people will be thinking. You should know me better, if there had been anything to it, would I not have said so myself? This meeting’s failure rests solely at your feet.” Moshae Sjefa simply regarded him, her expression bland but it wasn’t a stretch of the imagination to realise she was supressing a smile.

 

“I’m sorry, Evfra. I realise I have made a mistake in my timing.” She left then, turning around and sashaying out of the room. He watched her go with his nostrils flaring, but then the solution to his problem came to him and he let out his tension with a sigh. There was no need to do anything with or for Robin. Things would go back to the way they were before she came. It would be a blessing, really. He’d finally have time for all the things he’d been putting off in order to babysit her. Although, for the life of him, he couldn’t recall what those things had been.

 

 ---

 

Evfra had been uncharacteristically silent during their walk home. Or rather, Robin amended, Evfra had returned to the taciturn man he had been when they had first met. It was clear something was bothering him. Every now and then she’d feel him looking at her, his lip would curl, and then he’d look away – huffing. It did not take a genius to gather that whatever had annoyed him had something to do with her. Robin was surprised that she felt surprised.

 

“Alright,” She sighed when they’d reached the memorial gardens, sick of the wall of silence between them, “who put a bee in your bonnet?”

 

“What?” Short. Sharp.

 

“A bee in-. Never mind. Evfra,” Robin stopped walking, peering up at him with what she hoped was a sympathetic look, which only served to make him draw back, “obviously something is wrong. Aren’t Angara all about expressing their feelings and all that? I thought we’d become friends.”

 

“You thought wrong.” He snarled with a viciousness that utterly shocked her. Just that morning he had been, not jovial – Evfra was never that – but companionable. There’d been a shyness to their conversations that hadn’t been there before, but also a new closeness. Now it was the opposite. It was like someone had slammed her fingers in a window. They simply looked at each other for a moment, their breath fogging the air between them.

 

“Oh.” Was all she could think to say in response, “I…did I do something? I’m sorry. I don’t know all the rights and wrongs of your culture, so if I’ve offended just tell me – I’m still learning.” But in saying that, she couldn’t imagine what it was she might have done. Avela hadn’t said anything, and she was not afraid to tell Robin when she was being insensitive. A sick feeling was pooling in the bottom of her stomach and a bad taste in had formed in her mouth.

 

Evfra looked away, and a heartbeat later he began to walk again. Robin reached for him, her fingertips resting on his arm. He spun around, snatching himself back as though she had stung him.

 

“Evfra! What..?” Robin paused, pulling her hand back and clasping it in the other. Her mind was reeling, “I didn’t realise I was being such a pain today.”

 

“You,” Evfra began, shaking his head, “have never _stopped_ being a pain.” Robin stared at him in shock. She was torn between wanting to sit down, and wanting to punch him. Evfra opened his mouth, but instead he winced and remained silent.

 

“That…well. Ok. There’s nothing I can do about that then, is there?” She drew herself together, even though she could feel her eyes burning. She was _not_ going to grovel for approval – not his or anyone else’s, “I think I’ll walk the rest of the way by myself.”

 

“You can walk by yourself in all respects.” Was all he replied with, walking away from her with a swiftness that verged on jogging.

 

“Evfra,” She called after him, knowing he wouldn’t stop, “it was wrong of you to play pretend like that.” He showed no signs of hearing her, and soon he had disappeared around the corner. Robin was left alone, with only the moonlit silhouettes of the flowers to keep her company. She felt something hot and wet brimming in her eyes, and with an angry sound she scrubbed at her face with her sleeve. She’d never noticed how lonely the garden could be, even though she’d walked through it alone countless of times before.


	6. A Step into the Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for your patience, for some reason this chapter has been very tricky for me to write (i'm trying to be sneaky about things but I don't think I'm very good at it...). I really appreciate all the support and the wonderful comments I receive on this fic. I probably read through them at least a couple of times a week, they really make me feel so good. So thank you so so much :)
> 
> I have to apologise for the inconsistent formatting of the chapters, I don't usually publish my longer writing on AO3, so I'm still trying ti figure out how i replace indentations (which I prefer to use). I think I've settled on a style now that reads more clearly. I hope you enjoy this chapter, interesting things are going to start happening!
> 
> This chapter contains spoilers.

_It was wrong of you_ , she’d said. _It was wrong of me_ , Evfra thought in an angry echo. Finesse was perhaps not his most well used skill, but he had it. He could use it, when he was forced to. If ever there had been a situation in which he was forced, his parting with Robin had been it. And yet, he hadn’t – couldn’t. No matter how he had tried, he could not think of a kind way to sever their connection. Of course she had slipped easily into a friendship – she had no reason to be looking back, expecting a betrayal. She had no reason to see her friendships as potential propaganda. Which was why this whole situation was entirely his fault. Robin’s wide-eyed hurt – his fault. The wretched feeling that snuck up on him during still moments – his fault. The quiet urging in the bottom of his heart, feeling like a physical push to seek her out, that was probably his fault too.

It was useless to waste his time thinking on how he could have done better, but that’s precisely what he did. The time between important moments was spent on imagining what would have happened if he’d simply told her why. Or if he said nothing of the sort, and just told her she didn’t need an escort anymore. But he could not. Even in his mind, the words would not form, and in their place only other harsh, hurtful things. Things he had truly said. Forget it, he had told himself countless times since then, simply move on, the past cannot be changed – only learned from. Such wise words, until he remembered who he had heard them from first. The damn woman was even speaking through his conscience now, as though knowing she was just a handful of moments away each day was not hard enough. But it was bloody hard moving on when he’d would walk through the tavetaan, and though it was early morning and none of the stalls were open, he would ridiculously hope that for some reason Robin would be there. He didn’t want to talk to her, not only because he feared she’d look at him like she had when they last spoke, but he just…wanted to see her. Just a glimpse, to see if she smiled. Because if she did, he reasoned silently with himself, then it would mean that she was ok. Then he could comfortably continue with his life.

Complications were one thing he did not need more of, and for all that he regretted hurting Robin, there was a small sense of relief that came with it. Now she would see, like everyone else did. Evfra de Tershaav did not have friends. He did not like people, he was not liked by people, and he had worked hard on keeping it that way. Never again. Evfra had sworn a vow when the Kett took his family, his home, and entire damn town – never again would he allow the things precious to him to be taken away. But his position meant that he was always a target, always looking over his shoulder. The best way to stop from losing everything, was to have nothing. He had nothing left. And he had nothing left to lose. That had always been his greatest comfort during his time as the resistance leader, it meant he could afford to be reckless with himself. So, it was better this way. No one to lose, no one to be hurt if he was lost.

Much like he had the week before, and all the other times in his life when he felt he was growing too fond of someone, he clamped down on all other desires. No one wants to suffer, and he focused on that instead. Only, it was harder today, because he knew Robin was leaving to go somewhere where she was not only moments out of reach. Elaaden was not simply around the corner. What if something happened? What if the scavengers had reclaimed the remnant site? What if the research team was in danger? What if she needed hi-.

No.

It wasn’t his problem. Pushing away from his desk and walking to the window, Evfra peered out, aware that he could see one of the docking bays from his office. If anyone could see him, they would have sworn he was looking for something. Robin was not his problem. Or his responsibility. She was not anything of his at all.

\---

“Have you got everything you need?” Robin looked up, startled by Avela’s question.

“Hm? Oh yeah, I think so.” Apart from my pride, she wanted to add. That had been solidly thrashed and tossed out in the garden. Like compost. Which was, ironically, rather how Robin felt herself.

“Have you brought a hat? I hear human skin suffers under prolonged exposure from the sun. Never mind, I packed a spare one for you. What about this ‘sunscreen’ the embassy told me about? Do you have that?” Avela was rummaging through a large satchel she had looped across her chest. From within it, she pulled out two spare hats, a pair of sunglasses (Robin couldn’t imagine where she had even gotten that from), a battery-operated handheld fan, three toothbrushes, a hairbrush, and something that was suspiciously labelled ‘Freshening Spray – for the Asari on the Go’. At this point, Robin was half expecting Avela to whip out an umbrella and fly away, singing about sugar and chimneys. All these various items were handed to Robin without much thought as to the number of limbs she had capable of holding things.

“Um,” was all she had time to say before Avela hurried her onto the shuttle that would take them to the larger spaceship. Personally, Robin didn’t think sunscreen was necessary for Elaaden. No, what she truly needed was a fire extinguisher. To say she suffered in the heat was really putting it very mildly, and Robin did not handle discomfort with grace. She didn’t handle anything with grace, really.

She watched Aya dwindle first into a flat landscape, then gradually nothing but a dot – surprised by how black the planet looked from a distance. It was another small, but potent reminder that Earth was now very far away. She hadn’t missed it as much as she thought she would, of course there had been the simple things she longed for – convenience stores, potatoes, that one water fountain by the library that was always blessedly free of pigeons. But they were easy to forget, Robin had felt, while she was making friends – possibly something more. Until, of course, she had been told (rather humiliatingly) that she was wrong on both counts. Suddenly being away from Earth felt unbearable. Back there, she knew where to go when she was rejected – you go out and buy ice cream, watch ‘Fleet and Flotilla’, and have a long session of ranting and raving with your friends. But in Helius? Would she go drown her sorrows at Kadara Port? Not unless she wanted to end up on the other side of a rusty shiv. Robin glanced sceptically at Avela who was busy sending instructions to the team waiting for them on Elaaden. Well, at least she had one friend, that was one more than she’d ever had back home- no, back on Earth. She doubted, however, that Avela would put up with ranting and raving, as much as the Angara were fond of being open about their emotions.

“How long until we get there?” Robin asked and then found herself surprised. Was she really going to start the dreaded round of ‘are we there yet’?

“Some hours yet.” Avela replied, not looking up from her work, “Luckily we’re being dropped off at one of Ryder’s forward stations, meaning there will be less time driving through the dunes to get to where we want to be.”

Robin grimaced but said nothing. Instead, she shuffled through her pack, searching for her datapad. If she was going to spend hours on the ship waiting to be dropped off at literal hell, she might as well read a book on the way. One of her favourite things to do was read old history textbooks and take notice of all the ways in which they had been mistaken. It sounded pretentious, and on the surface it certainly was, but Robin didn’t do it to gain some small sense of satisfaction over knowing more than a historian who hadn’t had the same technological benefit as later generations. She simply loved reading old theories, following the reasoning behind their conclusions, and then comparing the evidence. It was a source of wonder for her, something that served to remind her that even the smallest piece of history was significant. It made her feel very important, knowing that something she did would matter in time, to some historian hundreds or even thousands of years from now.

With a small sound of success, she pulled the datapad free from where it had been lodged beneath what she termed her ‘work-boots’ – comfortable and protective should anything spill over or fall on top of her unsuspecting feet. Something fell out of her bag as she lifted the datapad, bouncing across the floor. Curious, Robin moved over to what appeared to be a scrunched up piece of paper. It was Angaran paper, she could tell from the feel of it – a little rubbery, and by the way it seemed slightly luminescent in the dark.

“What…?” She mouthed as she opened it out, confused about where it could have come from. She certainly hadn’t put it in there, and she can’t imagine Avela or anyone else from the repository would have been so haphazard about their paperwork. Robin smoothed it out and lifted it to get a better look. A jolt went through her, followed by a strange sensation of coldness that spread from her heart to her arms. Her skin prickled.

It was a Roekaar manifesto. And it looked to be handwritten. There was a crude drawing of what she could only assume was herself, given the general features of the caricature, followed by writing underneath. She couldn’t quite make out what it said – though she as beginning to learn Shalesh, she was nowhere near proficient enough to recognise what any of the words meant in sentence.  
“What is that?” Avela asked, looking up. Robin jumped, and quickly stuffed the paper into her pocket.

“N-nothing. Just a…list of things I needed to bring with me. But what,” She looked up and gave Avela an attempt at a smile, “what do I need lists for when you’re here?” She wasn’t sure if Avela bought her lie, but she didn’t question it further. Instead, she rose and headed out the door, turning to speak to Robin once before she left.

“It’ll be dark when we get to Elaaden, which is the best time for working in the heat. I suggest getting some sleep now – it’s going to be something of a long night.” With that, Avela left, presumably heading towards the crew quarters to get some rest herself. Robin looked at the space she had been in for some long moments after she had gone, feeling disturbed. Her heartbeat did not return to a normal rate for even longer. When it had settled, she could still feel it pumping, it felt like her ears were rattling with every ‘thump’. Why? That was her main question. Why would someone put this with her things, especially as she was leaving Aya. Isn’t that what they had wanted from the start? Whoever this ‘they’ was. Robin had some serious doubts it was the youths from before, though their animosity had risen to a dangerous level before Evfra put a stop to it. It wasn’t lost on her that the taunting and, she presumed, threats had started again once Evfra had made it obvious he was washing his hands of her. Somewhere beneath the panic, she felt a flash annoyance. Why couldn’t he have been more subtle about his contempt?

Rising slowly to her feet, Robin put her hand into her pocket and retrieved the manifesto to look at it again. Maybe it wasn’t a manifesto after all, maybe it was a message directed to her. But if that were the case, how was she supposed to know what it said without asking an Angaran? The voice of reason, which was generally very small at the best of times, spoke up and told Robin that the quickest way to solve this was to show it to Avela, and then probably go back to the Nexus where she was certain of being free from Roekaar. But something about that didn’t sit well with Robin, mostly due to her misplaced sense of pride. It rankled that Avela had begun to seem less like a friend and co-worker, and more like a babysitter. What would everyone else think of humans? That they were all useless troublemakers? Well, yes generally they were, but she didn’t want it to be her fault that everyone thought that!

Sighing in frustration, Robin folded the paper and slipped it back inside her pocket. She was heading away from Aya, and away from the fanatic who had put it in her things in the first place. It was probably nothing to worry about, she told herself as made her way to the crew quarters where she fell asleep feeling cold and queasy.

\---

Avela had not been wrong. After being dropped off at what appeared to be the middle of an endless desert – no water or shade in sight – there proceeded to be ‘something of a long night’. Long because, as Robin had suspected might be the case, there was nothing for her to do. Could she help set up equipment? No, she didn’t know what went where or even how any of the stuff worked. Could she help organise the different scientists into groups and assign them sections of the ruin? No, again, as she didn’t even know how many sections there were and what kind of expertise would be needed to study them. Could she help organise or decipher information? Also no, as she didn’t understand half the things that were written, even when the VI in the terminal translated it. There was one thing she could do, and do well. She could stand off to the side, wielding the handheld fan Avela had packed her like a palm boy fanning his queen. It was the middle of the night, and the sand was still warm, though the air had started to cool. Still, there were already two great rings of sweat under her arms and she felt the irrational need to scream. Everything felt clammy. Her feet, her face, her very soul. Clammy. And smelling vaguely like old ham. She tried not to think how bad it was going to be when the sun came up, there was only so much negativity a person could take in such a short amount of time.

“Are you feeling alright?” It was Nalon. He had come with Avela and Elihn from the Repository, and though Robin didn’t have much to do with him outside of work he had always been friendly. He peered at her, squinting as though he could pinpoint exactly what was bothering her if he looked hard enough.

Robin turned a somewhat soggy gaze towards him, “No.”

“Avela mentioned this might happen. One of the Asari at the embassy gave us a spray that she thought might be helpful. Hang on a minute.” Nalon began rummaging around in his bag, muttering to himself about where he could have put it. With a suspicious squint, Robin lifted the ‘Freshening Spray’ from her pocket and held it out.

“Is it this?”

“Huh? Oh, yes. Here, this is how she said it was supposed to work.” Nalon straightened, and from some inherent sense of intuition, Robin could tell exactly what was going to happen, even before he removed the cap and spritzed her in the face.

“Thank you.” She offered in a monotone, a trickle of whatever it was running down her face and dripping off her chin. Nalon looked at her for a moment, then at the spray in his hand.

“You look worse.”

“ _Thank you._ ”

“What’s that smell?”

“Nalon,” Robin hurried, stepping away from him a little, and angling her fan down-wind, “have you come to give me something to do, or did you just want to give me a bath?”

“I’m afraid there’s nothing for either of us to do just yet,” He laughed, rubbing the back of his head, “but I did come over here to tell you our tent has finished being setup. You’re bunking with me. I feel I should tell you that I snore.”

“So do I. Probably louder than you.” Robin added, and indicated that he should show her the way. What she needed to do was get out of these clothes and into something much lighter. And possibly try to sleep some more, if only to forget how sticky she felt.

\---

Surprisingly, she did manage to sleep for an hour or so. In fact, the only reason Robin woke up was because she was certain she could hear someone moving around inside the tent. She opened one bleary eye, spotting an Angaran figure hunched over her. With a cry of alarm, she sat up, ramrod straight, and banged her head against that of the stranger.

“Stars!” Nalon cursed, falling backwards and landing heavily on his behind. Her heart was beating wildly, though her mind had registered that there was no danger present, she couldn’t shake free her discomfited feeling. Nalon was rubbing his head and muttering.

“Do all humans have such hard heads, or is it just you?”

Robin snorted before replying, “I’ve been told mine is harder than most. Though I’ve got nothing on a Krogan.” She swung her feet over the edge of her camping bed and stood, offering a hand to Nalon to help him up on the way. He sat there for a moment, staring at the floor before shaking his head and taking her offer.

“I came to see if you were feeling better, but I didn’t mean to wake you up. Though it’s probably for the best, Avela said we’d be heading into the site in an hour or so. And before you ask, no I still don’t have anything for you to do.” Nalon gave Robin a comforting pat on the arm when she groaned and tossed her head back. “Think of this as a holiday! No stuffy office work for you for an entire month or however long we’re going to be here. I can’t imagine it’ll be long, Avela doesn’t like to be away from the Repository for too long – especially not considering how much work we left behind.”

Robin stopped dead, looking at him incredulously, “You can’t mean that. Tell me you don’t mean we’re going to be here for a month otherwise I will cry. I will throw a tantrum, Nalon, I will.” He simply continued to pat her on the arm while he ushered outside into glaring heat.

“Meddle branches!” He cried, leaving Robin both dismayed and confused. Meddle branches? He peered back, a similar expression to her own dawning on his face, “Is that not the saying? I am certain Elihn translated it correctly, she downloaded a dictionary from your Nexus. Robin thought for a moment, wondering if maybe it was a saying in a language she didn’t know. Who knows, it could be some Asari proverb that was far too existential for her mind to grasp. Until she realised what he meant, then Robin laughed.

“I think you mean ‘fiddlesticks’.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Well, one is a saying and one isn’t.”

“But, why?” Nalon pressed, his look of genuine puzzlement rather endearing.

She paused for a moment to consider. The thing was, obviously there was a difference, but she found herself struggling to explain just exactly what they were. Finding her thoughts stretched to the fullest, she settled for what was the most common of answers to difficult questions.

“Just because.”

Nalon narrowed his eyes, “Are you sure you are an historian?” Robin, already beginning to sweat once more, chose not to respond to this. Instead, she continued walking, relying on Nalon to direct her towards what appeared to be a truck of some sort. She saw various scientists running to and from the vehicle, carrying equipment, but most were already inside, waiting to be transported to the remnant site.

“We’re having breakfast when we get there,” Nalon was saying as he helped her up the rungs on the back end of the truck, “Avela thought most of us would be more comfortable resting in the shade of the remnant site. Plus wind cover, so less sand in our mouths when we eat.” At the mention of shade, Robin felt herself perk up, well that and the truck had coolant flowing through it to keep the engine and the equipment loaded on in from overheating. She chose to count herself as equipment and pressed her back against one of the coolant pipes. Well, this is clearly where she would be staying for the remainder of their trip. If anyone tried to move her, they would do so at the risk of a hearty – and rather wet – slap.

It took longer to drive to the remnant site than Robin thought. It was massive, almost disproportionately so, and she’d thought it would take maybe five minute. Clearly, she had underestimated just how large it was, as fifteen minutes later she was hopping down from the truck, feeling better from the coolant pipes and the shade she now found herself in. She spent another ten minutes simply staring upwards, idly wondering what Elaaden would like from the very top of the structure. The size of the thing shouldn’t surprise her, the Nexus was just as big – if not bigger, but there was something about its atmosphere that left her feeling very strange. Being on the Nexus was less like being in a ship, and more like being on a planet. With the gardens growing well now, it was like walking around in the business district of a city. Maybe it was because the structure clearly did not belong here, crushed and half buried in the sand as it was. She supposed it would feel less huge when she was actually inside, but she doubted it would feel less strange.

“Are you ready?” Avela came up behind her, resting a hand on Robin’s shoulder, and holding out a pack, “We’re going in with the first group to have a look at anything left behind. We’ve been told there’s not much, but the glyphs should be interesting. We’re slowly making a dictionary out of it. We don’t have anything near as comprehensive as Ryder’s SAM, but we are developing something more understandable for laymen.”

Robin nodded, shrugging a pack that had been held out to her. She heard clinking and sloshing as she threaded her arms through the straps. Water bottles, she presumed, and probably food packs. She fleetingly wondered about how many of those had been packed, but didn’t bother worrying. She could eat Angaran food, it just tasted a bit like she was licking a sock.

There was a noticeable difference in temperatures between the shaded area outside the site, and the inside. Even as they drove inside, Robin felt her arms prickle – but maybe that had less to do with temperature. It was…enormous. In some places the ceiling stretched into unfathomable darkness, and she couldn’t tell if that’s where it ended – it seemed like it just went on infinitely. The green lights that patterned some of the crevices lit up the space in a faint, eerie way. She couldn’t help but imagine what it must have looked like when it was whole, if it was as empty as it looked now. Ryder had cleared out the remnant machines, she knew, but the thought that they were all that had been there for hundreds of years made the place seem forlorn in a way. Had there ever been _people_ here? Surely, if the Jaardan had been biological, there would be something left of them. Skeletons or homes, or even something about other remnant sites that looked liveable. But why, then, would machines make biological beings? The answers, Robin felt, were as far from being known as they were to being understood. A different species, with millions of years of culture that had never even brushed against the Milky Way, who’s to say they would ever be able to understand their reasons.

“Stars…,” she heard Avela breathe beside her, her voice so quiet in the massive space, “I never could have imagined. And to think Meridian is just a more advanced version of this.” She’d never been to Meridian, there were so many people petitioning for a post in the colony there, Robin had never bothered to try. There was also something about it being a machine and not a planet that set her on edge. What would happen to them if it malfunctioned? Could it malfunction? She sincerely hoped not, but there was nothing certain about remnant tech. She didn’t believe, even, that the green lights were simply there to provide illumination. Maybe they meant something, in a language no one here could ever hope to comprehend.

They unloaded in silence, Robin taking herself off to one side to both be out of the way, and to more closely inspect the glowing shapes. She could feel a conclusion coming to her, an answer to question she was just beginning to ask, when he stomach rumbled. Loudly. A few of the Angara looked at her curiously, but most were too busy setting up their scanning equipment, or going through information they had managed to glean from the night before. Without bothering to look, Robin let her pack slide from her shoulders and shoved her hand in, rummaging around for a food pack. Her fingers closed around something that was not food or water. Her stomach opened to a pit, and her heart dropped right into it as she pulled her hand free.

She was looking at a scrunched up piece of paper.

Maybe it wasn’t what she thought, maybe it was just rubbish that had fallen in accidentally. Her hands were trembling as she unfurled the paper, and she had to sit back on her haunches for a good few minutes after she had.

It wasn’t rubbish. But maybe…someone had put it in there before they’d left Aya. She couldn’t believe anyone here was a member of the Roekaar. Surely Evfra would have been thorough in checking people’s backgrounds? But then, Robin thought with a hurtful lurch in her heart, Evfra probably didn’t care enough. As long as the Roekaar weren’t standing in the way of research, then they were free to do as they pleased. And if she wasn’t on Aya, then what would it matter if she something happened to her? It wouldn’t harm relations between the Angara and the Nexus since it wouldn’t have happened on their planet. A little voice in the back of her head told her that Evfra would never be so careless; so heartless. She might not as much to him as she thought – or anything at all, as it turns out – but he couldn’t possibly hate her that much. She wasn’t important enough. But then again, she wasn’t important enough to be a target for xenophobic fanatics, yet here she was.

With a lurch, she shoved the paper back into the bag – her hunger forgotten – and rushed to be beside Avela. It was a safe space there, and she trusted Avela implicitly, but she hated that now she was looking at the other Angara around her suspiciously. Maybe that was the purpose of the notes, in the end. Though she wouldn’t know unless she could translate them. There was something niggling in the back of her mind, something triggered by what Nalon had said that morning. But she was called away before it could come to her fully, rushing after Avela as she lead their group through the diamond shaped doorway and into the surprisingly small hallway beyond.


	7. A Surprising Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow here we are again! I'm sorry this took so long, I became very sick for a while there (all better now!) and then it was time for some major assessment pieces, so I had to set this aside for a while. But, I am on holiday now, so expect a pick up in chapter updates. 
> 
> As always, I very very grateful for your patience and continued support. I really love writing this, and I love writing for you. Your comments literally inspire me, so thank you SO much.
> 
> I thought this chapter was very interesting write, so I hope you enjoy!
> 
> This chapter is spoiler free.

“Sir, the ship is almost ready for departure. The crew is just doing one final engine check, but we’re expected to leave in the next half an hour.” Evfra didn’t look up when he was addressed. Instead, he gave the resistance soldier a sharp nod to indicate that he’d heard him and remained silent as he left. Alone again, he sighed, running a hand over his face. What the hell was he thinking going all the way back to Voeld just on the off chance that something monumental was there? Granted, it was more than an ‘off chance’ but there were no confirmations either. Energy readings and Kett desperation to keep them out were the two greatest indicators that something important was being kept from them.

He couldn’t quite put his finger on why he was so reluctant to go. It was rare that he was given legitimate reasons to leave Aya, and he hated being cooped up in that office day after day. And yet, something kept him there – waiting.

How long had it been now? Three maybe four weeks? Or was it longer? It felt longer, but his calendar disagreed with him. No emails had been sent to him about something disastrous befalling the research team, not that he would expect one if it did – he’d made it clear he didn’t care. Nothing had come through about a great discovery, leaving him in an uncomfortable limbo. He could ask. He knew that. He could ask how she- how they were doing. But he didn’t, and he wouldn’t. It felt like losing, he had to admit. There was no right answer to his problem. Or rather, there was a right answer – forget, move on – but it didn’t feel right; didn’t feel good. But life wasn’t about feeling good, and he had better things to be worrying about than one human historian who had no place taking up as much of his time as she did. Robin was remarkably time consuming for somewhat who wasn’t even on his damn planet.

 _Would she come back?_ The question entered his head before his usually perfect self-control could filter it out. Evfra winced, and gruffly pushed himself away from his desk. It didn’t matter. Come back or stay away, she was out of his life and he’d wanted it that way. He still wanted it that way. It had to be that way.

The shrivelled flower on his desk seemed to whisper to him, speaking dark promises that he refused to hear. It had gone brown weeks ago, and he knew he should never have kept it. The last day he spoke to Robin, he’d gone home and crushed the flower in his fist – as though he crush his guilt and longing with it, but he couldn’t toss it away no matter bruised and broken it was. Dead now, the daffodil was stiff and fragile, crumbling at the slightest touch. She was right after all, they weren’t a happy flower. _It was wrong of you_ , came her quiet voice once again, it had changed from hurt to accusing during these past weeks. She was right about a number of things, it seemed.

“Sir?” The soldier was back in his office. He liked his soldiers. The recruits were all cringing, scraping and bowing. But the soldiers, the ones who’d been out there and understood why his word had to be law, they were calm and efficient. Like this one, looking at him with firm expectation, “It’s time to board.”

“Right.” He stepped out, his office door hissing shut behind him. Soldiers greeted him as he passed, either nodding or saluting depending on their age. He gave them all brief acknowledgement, and was out into the open Aya air a few moments later.

Everything went smoothly until he came to the docking bay. As the bridge was extending, he heard a familiar voice call out his name. He turned, and looked expectantly for the Moshae.

“Wait!” The crowd melted away and moments later Moshae Sjefa walked forward, her footsteps hurried, “There’s something you need to see.” She held a ball of paper in her hand, and Evfra felt his brow lift, “It’s about Robin.”

“No.” Turning, he continued walking onto the ship.

“Don’t be stubborn, Evfra. She could truly be in trouble this time.” The Moshae reached out to him, trying to stay his movements and failing. His footsteps almost faltered. He almost ran down the gangplank. Almost.

“You’re the ambassador, Moshae, you deal with it.” He was pleased to find that she did not follow him to press the matter. Instead, she turned and walked away pausing to say one final thing.

“You’re going to regret this, Evfra.”

“I already do. I regret the minute she stepped foot on this planet.” His voice had been louder than he’d expected, and the Moshae only shook her head – disappointed. He could still hear his own words ringing in his ears, and they left a bad taste in his mouth.

The ship lifted away smoothly, Evfra looking at the stars streaking by from the cockpit. For some reason, his mind kept returning to the dead and broken flower he’d left on his desk – likely to be tossed in the garbage by anyone who wandered by. The thought made him feel guilty.

 

\---

 

“Can you believe it?” Robin lurched at the voice behind her, whirling around with wide eyes, Nalon looked back at her with matching shock, “What?”

“You surprised me, that’s all.” She laughed nervously, flooded with relief, “Can I believe what?”

“How _big_ it all is. I mean…do you ever wonder how tall the Jaardan must have been? I can’t imagine they’d need all this space if they were our size. It makes me feel like the roof is going to cave in on my head.” Nalon was looking upwards, hands on his hips as he spoke. Robin turned her gaze behind him to see that it was just the two of them, and let the tension leave her body.

“Well, I can’t say I’ve ever really thought about their height. I mean, not all of the rooms are huge.” Robin squatted down to look at a panel of lights on the floor. Nalon was silent while she did, and it was during this silence that she heard something she couldn’t quite place. Robin turned around, her head tilted as she tried to listen, “Do you hear that?”

She received no reply from Nalon at first. He mimicked her expression by tilting his head and frowning. Robin stood and moved forwards. The closer she got to the dark space beyond, the louder the sound became. Still, she hesitated before actually turning the corner. She wasn’t a rookie on excavation sites, and her experiences with Prothean ruins had taught her never to go where the crew had not set up lights. However, she doubted that the great metal space ship would collapse, since apparently Ryder had jumped all over the struts and platforms without causing any structural damage. Besides, she wanted to know where that sound was coming from – it was almost like running water, but softer.

“Robin? I don’t hear anything.” 

“No, there’s something there. I’m sure of it.” She waved away Nalon’s concern, ignoring the pitched sound of his anxiety as she stepped forward. What met her eyes was not complete darkness as she had suspected, simply the same blue-green glow she had been looking at before – but not much else. Her eyes took a moment to adjust to the dimness, but she walked forward regardless. If there’d been any traps in here, the scavengers would have set them off by now, plus Ryder had personally guaranteed the ruin would be safe for excavation or whatever the scientists were doing here – Robin still wasn’t sure.

She made sure not to turn any corners, because she could just tell if anyone would get lost it would be her, and she wasn’t terribly confident of the chances of a search and rescue team being sent after her. The sound was louder now, and when she looked down her suspicions were confirmed.

“Holy hell,” She breathed. Apparently the Jaardan were fond of extravagant water features in their spaceships? Though, bending down to look closer, it didn’t look quite like water. It was darker, and it almost sparkled. Something about seemed thicker than water, almost like greyish, star-speckled blood. The comparison made her draw back sharply in discomfort. For a moment she simply stood there, watching the liquid as it ran through grooves in the floor and into the dark mass beyond. Curiously, she dipped a finger in the liquid, wondering if it would come away feeling as thick as it looked. An unbearable burning raced up her arm, and Robin screamed as she wrenched herself backwards, tucking her seared finger against her chest. She had pulled herself away with such force that, when she bumped against something solid that had not been behind her before, she was sent stumbling forwards – face first towards what had burned her in the first place.

Gasping, and squashing her eyes shut against the oncoming pain, it took her a moment or two register that she was fine. Her finger still burned like she’d stuck it up satan’s rear end, but mostly she was unharmed. Panting with fright and fear, she noted that the acidic liquid was inches from her face, but it grew further away every second as someone gently lifted her out of harm’s way.

“Careful.” She recognised the voice, low and quiet – Nalon, of course, “I’ve heard it burns.” Robin twisted around, turning wide eyes up to face him, but his expression was unreadable in the dimness. His grip on her arms was painfully tight.

“You’re hurting me.” Even to herself, her voice sounded weak and breathless.

“Am I?” The pressure on her arms was suddenly gone, “Sorry about that. Just had to make sure you were alright, I’m the only one who knows you’re here after all.” Robin stared at Nalon with her jaw slightly slack, surely not? He stared back at her with equal candour. His grin flashed through the darkness, “I’m glad you’re ok though, you gave me quite the scare. Probably best you don’t go running off by yourself, all things considered.” He went to rest his hand on her back as he guided her away, but Robin inexpertly flinched from his touch. Taking a wide step forward and out of reach. 

“W-what do you mean ‘all things considered’?” She closed her eyes for a moment, as her stomach rolled with a cold nausea before it occurred to her that standing with her eyes shut and her back to him left her more vulnerable than she would like to be.

“Well, neither one of us really knows what’s going on in this place – we’re not scientists. Plus, last time I checked you don’t have a jump-jet to be getting you out of sticky situations.” Nalon walked beside her as they re-entered the lit area, making Robin feel small and unsure, “Your hand, it’s hurt. Are you alright?”

“Oh, yeah.” Mind still reeling, Robin managed to pull herself together. If Nalon was the one behind the notes – and Robin could still hardly believe it – then she wouldn’t want him knowing she was suspicious, “Yeah it’ll be ok. Feels like I dipped my finger in the river Styx though, bloody hell.”

“I don’t understand,” Nalon sounded entirely like himself once more, Robin almost thought she had imaged the menacing undertone, “there is a river of sticks on Earth? Is that a metaphor for a forest?”

“No it’s...I’ll explain to you later. This place is giving me the creeps, let’s go find Avela.” Luckily she’d only unpacked her canteen when she and Nalon had wandered off to explore, so she scooped it up in one stoop, shouldered her bag and tried not to run as fast as she could to safety. Or what passed for it.

 

\---

 

Robin lay stiff as a stone in her cot that night, eyes flaring to Nalon in alarm whenever she heard his snore stutter and pause – fearing he was awake. She had just drifted to fitful form of sleep, when a rustling from the bottom of her bed disturbed her. It took everything she had to just remain still, even though she was sure her heart was beating so violently against her ribcage that her whole body was rattling in response. The rustling ceased for a moment, and it was followed by a grunt and sigh. There came the sound of shuffling, and then the familiar creak as Nalon climbed back into his cot. She did not sleep for the rest of the night.

“You aren’t looking well,” Avela commented when she saw Robin that morning. They had just arrived at the Remnant site, and were standing on one of the walkways overlooking what they theorised had been the main passageway. Avela bent a concerned head towards her friend, pressing a hand to Robin’s forehead.

“What…?” Robin pulled away, giving Avela a queer look.

“Isn’t that was you’re supposed to do with humans? Touch their foreheads and then…something happens?” Tired as she was, Robin still managed to grin, her teeth looking oddly white in the lighting within the Remnant ship.

“That’s to measure temperatures. Inaccurately. I’m not sick, I just…didn’t sleep well. Nalon snores very loudly.” There was no response to this for a moment or two, as Avela passed in instructions to the scientists scurrying around with datapads and other gadgets Robin couldn’t recognise. When she next gave Robin her attention, it was to offer a measuring glance.

“I’m sorry Robin, but you can’t be here in that condition. You stumbled twice this morning, nearly knocking poor Elihn off the platform.” She put her hand comfortingly on Robin’s shoulder, “Go back to your tent for today, catch up on some sleep.” Robin stared at her blankly. Was…was that she had to do? Sleep? At the risk of sounding petulant, she nearly whined about how boring that would be. But then, a sudden sense of relief. No Nalon. While she was suspicious, she still hesitated to blame him. He’d only ever been kind to her, friendly eventually. Why? It didn’t make sense that he’d change his views so quickly – even if he had been hesitant with her when they first met. After a moment’s deliberation, she gave in easily. She was tired. And she was going to sleep some, but she was also going snoop around, see if she can find anything.

Avela organised for Robin to be dropped off when one of the research teams returned to their outpost for supplies. She wanted to enjoy the sun on her skin as they drove back, but it was far too hot to ignore the sweat that gathered at her temples and plastered her hair down. Itchy and irritated, she hopped down from the truck and started towards her tent but something made her stop. It was something Nalon had said a few weeks back. He mentioned Elihn having downloaded a dictionary. With a start, Robin spun around and went in search for the handful of individuals who remained to keep scavengers away.

They weren’t hard to track down, being that Angarans were very colourful people, but they did look rather more intimidating that she had first bargained on. It made sense, they were security, but they were also very…tall. You’d think she’d be used to that, humans weren’t the tallest species back in the Milky Way either. She approached one Angaran who looked at her with a smirk. She could probably smell Robin’s sweat a mile off, which did not make Robin feel any more confident.

“Um,” She began and then found herself trailing off. The soldier inclined her head, but said nothing – her smirk was now a full blown grin and Robin could not understand it at all. She looked behind her, wondering if maybe there was someone making faces, but all she saw was sand and then a lot more sand. Why was she looking at her like that?

“I just…I was wondering if you knew which of the tents Elihn was in? Or, which one she would be in if she were here, which she isn’t, she’s at the site, and I know that. But I wanted to borrow something from her and…stop looking at me like that!” The longer the soldier stood beaming down at her, the longer Robin prattled. It didn’t look to be a malicious smile, and Robin strangely felt no sense of alarm. But she reminded herself that anyone could be a Roekaar fanatic. The soldier nodded her head, and indicated that Robin should follow her. She led her towards a line of tents set up beneath a large, blue-green Angaran tarp, providing shade. It was the second tent from the bottom that the soldier eventually pointed towards Robin. With an uncertain thank you, she moved forward and opened the tent door.

“You _are_ adorable, in a scatter-brained sort of way.” Came a voice behind her, and Robin froze, head halfway inside. With an incredulous expression, she removed herself and regarded the soldier who was now looking more smug than she had any right to, “I think I understand what has Evfra all twisted around.” She left Robin with a wink, sauntering back to her post.

“What?” She demanded after her, “Wait! What are you talking about?” The only reply she received to this was the sound of laughter drifting back to her. She’d been out in the sun too long, Robin thought. Or maybe she hadn’t been in the sun long enough, Angarans did need to…what was it? Photosynthesise? What did she mean has Evfra all twisted around? Was that a polite way of telling her she understood why he was being so hostile? Robin shook her head, far too tired to make sense of anything that had just happened to her and finally entered the tent. The tarp they had put above really had done wonders for keeping out the heat, as the inside of the tent was still warm, but noticeably less so. She wondered why no one in her cluster had thought to do the same, but then realised it was probably too late now anyway. They’d likely only be on Elaaden another week at the most, and then, she had decided, she would go back to the Nexus where she could stare dreamily at Kandros without fear of someone violently being against it. Although maybe that wasn’t entirely true, he was wildly popular, and the man didn’t even know it.

Once inside, she looked around. There were three people set up in here, judging from the number of cots. That presented a problem her sleep deprived brain had not thought of – how would she know which belonged to Elihn? How did she know she even had the right Elihn? There was surely more than one. Robin shrugged, and began looking through the containers and packs on the floor. She felt a stab of guilt, knowing that she had no right to anyone’s private things, but she was really only looking for Elihn’s private datapad. If she found it and managed to download that dictionary, then she could begin figuring out what those nasty flyers meant. It wasn’t the most carefully thought out course of action, but there were really very few options left to her.

No luck. No datapads. No actual dictionaries. Nothing. Robin sat down heavily on one of the cots and sighed. She hadn’t really believed she would find anything, and a small voice in her head told her to wait until they came back and she could simply ask Elihn if she could use it. But she shut that idea down quickly, knowing that she couldn’t really trust anyone. There was Avela, but she’d dealt with more of Robin’s problems than she should have to. No, she would do this by herself, just to prove that she could. Taking a few moments more to rest in the shade, Robin headed back to her own tent. It took her much longer to get back than she thought, and she realised she must be far more tired than she had expected. It was strange, as she’d gone many nights without sleep and managed to function perfectly fine the next morning. It must be the stress, she theorised. Best to sleep while it was blissfully silent and private, rest while she could. She was just moving over to throw herself onto the cot when something at the foot of the bed caught her eye. She didn’t have to look again to know what it was. For a solid minute, Robin simply looked at the paper scrunched up on the floor, remember the sound of Nalon rummaging around in her things the previous night.

Well.

Angry and tired, and quite frankly hurt, Robin snatched it up and clenched her fist around it. She was going to sleep, so she was functioning her best, and then she was going have to be very brave.

It was dark out by the time Nalon finally came back. Robin had been awake for an hour or so, and she felt better physically, but her heart was pounding along with her head, and she felt anxiety twist her stomach. She was facing the entrance to the tent when he walked in, looking exactly as upset as she felt.

“What?” Nalon asked, frowning in concern, “What happened? Are you alright?”

“Stop it.” Robin’s voice sounded harsh, “I know it’s you.”

“What’s me?” He looked genuinely confused, “Robin I don’t understand.”

“I _saw_ you, Nalon!” She stood up and walked towards him agitatedly, “Last night, I was awake. Why? I thought we were friends!” Silence swallowed them, and then Nalon folded, sitting heavily down on the cot. 

“I’m sorry, Robin. You weren’t supposed to know, and I never meant to hurt you.”

“What the hell, Nalon? ‘Never meant to hurt’. What kind of excuse is that?”

“I just…” He looked up at her with big, pleading eyes, seemingly genuinely distraught, “I know I should have asked, but I didn’t think you’d say yes at first. Honestly, I didn’t think you’d be this upset.”

“You…you should have _asked_ me? _Asked me_? How is this possibly something you could ask me permission for?” She waved her fist in the air, realising she was yelling. Nalon stood up, alarmed and tried to placate her. Robin slapped his hand away.

“Robin, I really am sorry! My sister, well one of them…she’s responsible for outfitting the Resistance when they’re on Aya, civilian clothing and _other things_. And she thought it would be a promising investment to start providing for the Aliens, but she had nothing to base her measurements and designs on.”

“The Roekaar are threatening my life, Nalon! You can’t….” It was at that moment that the two of them registered what the other was saying. Robin looked at Nalon, who looked at her totally aghast. “I’m sorry, did you just say…your sister makes clothes? What?”

“I’ve been taking your shoes.” Nalon said slowly, “I fully intended to give them back when we got to Aya. I just wanted a closer look at your boots, you said they had metal in them and…”

Robin sat down, all her bravado gone, replaced by total and utter confusion, “You mean you-. You’re the one who-? And you haven’t been leaving these for me?” She held out the scrunched up paper, handed it to Nalon who took it looking even more confused. As he opened it out, his face paled and he gaped at her.

“You didn’t think I’d do something like this? Robin, you’re my friend!” He looked horrified, so genuinely so that Robin had to believe he wasn’t the culprit, “Plus, clearly Aliens are good for business so I mean…really…”

The two of them sat in stunned silence for a long time. Nalon looking at the nasty flyer, and Robin relieved that her friend was not selling her to xenophobes – even if it cost her most of her footwear.

“Have you told Avela about this?” Nalon broke the silence. Robin shook her head and he came over to her, hesitantly putting an arm across her shoulders, “You really should.”

“What does it say?” She finally summoned the courage to ask, “I haven’t been able to figure it out.”  
  
“I don’t want to tell you.”

“Nalon.” Robin pleaded.

“Do you forgive me for taking your shoes?” His tone was reluctant.

“Absolutely. You should have just asked, though. But, anyway, yes. Tell me what it says.”

“Well, that’s you, clearly.” Nalon pointed to crude drawing, and then paused, “The rest of it…well, it’s calling you names mostly.”  
  
“What names?” Nalon looked decidedly uncomfortable when Robin asked this.

“Oh like ‘scum’ and ‘a skutt’. Um…and ‘Evfra’s receptacle’ is the closest translation I can give you…” He looked queasy.

“Receptacle for what?” Robin received a pointed look as an answer to her question. It took her a moment to figure it out, “So basically, it’s calling me a whore.”

“Um, in a way. But that’s not really an insult in our culture, so not quite.” Robin looked at the writing, certain there was more to it.

“What aren’t you telling me? If they were just insulting me, I doubt they’d go this far.”

“I don’t think you should be left alone anymore.” He said instead, “Because it’s not just insults, Robin. They’re threatening you. Quite, uh…definitely threatening you. There’s a number on the corner here, it just says ‘one’.” The small amount of relief she had begun to feel, shattered like glass. Her body went numb as a wave of panic flooded her limbs, when she returned to herself she found Nalon rubbing her back and telling her soothing things. They sat like that for some time, until Robin felt in control of herself again.

“Did you get others?” Nalon asked. Robin nodded, heading over to her things and removing the second most resent manifesto. She handed it to Nalon without a word.

“When did you get this?”

“Last week some time, I think.”

“There’s a different number in the corner. I…Robin, I think it’s a countdown.”

“For what?”

“I’d prefer not to find out, honestly.” Nalon rose and turned to face her, holding out his hand, “Come on, we have to tell Avela. I can fire a gun, but I’m not that good at it, so you’re going to need more protection than just me.” Resigning herself to the truth of the situation, Robin took his hand. Even in the midst of her new predicament, she was glad that Nalon had been what she always thought – well, mostly.

Before they had a chance to head out to find her, Avela burst into their tent, looking as though she had been running. Spying Robin, she cried out and pulled her into a hug, babbling about she was so glad that she was unharmed. This was swiftly followed by the most scathing scolding she had ever given in her life, condemning Robin as foolish for not telling her about ‘all this’ sooner.

“Avela, how did you know?”

“I received an email. From Evfra. Apparently these were left on Aya as well. He’s commanded you be delivered to Voeld immediately.”

“But…why? He doesn’t care? And also, how I am going to get there?”

“We’re sending some of the security with you, along with some scientists we don’t need here anymore. There’s something on Voeld Evfra needs their help with, and he was quite adamant that you be there as well. You’re a resident of Aya, Robin. And a friend to many of us there, Evfra may stubborn, but he’s not insensitive. This is Yolsi Ada En,” Avela waved to a soldier behind her, one who Robin immediately recognised as the woman who had grinned at her, “she’s volunteered to take you. You’re leaving immediately, I’m not risking your safety any more than it has been. I can’t believe you’ve been so irresponsible, Robin. And so mistrustful.” And there it was. Avela was, rightfully, hurt.

“I’m sorry.” Robin offered lamely, feeling guilty. Avela simply sighed, replying with a wan smile before charging Robin and Nalon to help her pack her things as fast they could. There was a shuttle already waiting for them.

 

\---

 

Evfra breathed in the sharp, cold air of Voeld. For a moment he felt ten years old, eagerly waiting to run out after his older brothers and sisters who had gone on patrol. His father’s hand pulled him back, gently telling him no. And then the present returned once again, and with it the brittle truth of the past. Behind him, Resistance soldiers were helping the technicians unload their equipment.

It would only be a matter of days before they could start running tests. Ryder was due to arrive soon. Though perhaps he shouldn’t call them that anymore, now that there were two of them. He recalled being given a first name when they were first introduced, but he had deemed it as unimportant at the time.

Looking out at the white landscape, Evfra felt a new clarity set in. He’d been trapped on Aya for far too long, no wonder he’d been so easily distracted by one human. Gratefully, his usual calm and determination returned to him, and it was easier to see that he had done the right thing in regards to Robin. And then, focused on his work, he succeeded at last in what he had been fighting with himself to do for weeks now. He took his thoughts – those secret yearnings – and memories of her, and locked them very tightly away. So tight, it was only a matter of time he forgot they were there in the first place.


	8. Ultimatum no. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I hope you enjoy this chapter, I found it a bit tricky to write so I apologise if it's not up to my usual standard. I wanted to have it out for you guys on my birthday so I could myself a present by reading all your comments, but unfortunately like got in the way. However, I'm excited where things are going now! We're really getting into the meat of it now!
> 
> As always, I love your comments and I spend more time than I should admit rereading them. I finished this fic in my head months ago, and it means a lot to me that you are as excited about it as I am.
> 
> This chapter contains spoilers.

Unceremoniously bundled aboard a shuttle, Robin found herself sitting opposite Yolsi as they took flight. She was, thankfully, not giving her that same toothy grin she had worn only hours ago, but she was watching Robin avidly.

“Please stop staring at me.”

“Sorry.” Yolsi shrugged, breaking her gaze to lean her head back against the wall, “I just haven’t had much to do with Aliens. You seem different from what I’ve been led to believe.”

“Thank you?” Robin wondered, for a minute or two, what it was that she had been taught to believe. As she did not receive a reply to this, they flew in relative silence. Voeld was quite far away, and even longer to travel to in a shuttle, so she found herself curling up on her seat and snatching some sleep. Hard to do when every ten minutes or so the shuttle would give great heaving lurch, rattling everyone around. Huffing, Robin sat up, peering at her travelling companions in the dimness. They didn’t look overly friendly, bar Yolsi, but beyond that they seemed like typical Resistance soldiers. Which meant they had, effectively, been relegated to babysitting duty. Honestly, she couldn’t fathom Evfra’s thinking – jerking her around like an emotional yoyo. Did he flip a coin to decide what mood he was going to be in? Well, if he thinks that she’s going to simper and fawn over him all because he’s changed his mind, he’s got another thing coming. Namely her foot. In his crotch. Which, when she thought about it, might prove to be fruitless – after all, Angaran _bits_ might not be sensitive in the same way.

Robin yelped in surprise when she felt a finger poke her between her brows, looking up (which was something of a cross-eyed effort) she followed the finger to its source – Yolsi.

“That’s a mighty impressive frown you’ve got there. Not so pleased to be going back to your…what do you people say, lover?” Yolsi asked, leaning forward. Bloody hell, what kind of stories had people been telling about her and Evfra? Robin debated with herself on how to handle this. Should she disabuse those rumours with unfiltered honesty? After a moment’s deliberation, she settled on an answer. Wilfully obtuse. Her go-to defence mechanism. 

“I would say not, considering the last ‘lover’ I had was in the Milky Way. Somehow I don’t think this shuttle will make it all the way back there.”

“Oh-ho! Aren’t you the little heart breaker?” Yolsi leaned back again, folding her arms across. Robin’s ears began to burn, and she had the distinct feeling this was an interview of sorts, “You know, you look like kaerkyn when you sleep.”

“Is that an insult?”

“No.”

“Is it a complement, then?”

“Nope.”

“Then I don’t really know what kind of reaction I’m supposed to have.”

“Do facts need reactions?”

“Facts? Maybe not. But that was an opinion. When people start confusing the two, that’s when we run into trouble.”

“Ah, so like the Kett are Aliens. The Kett are bad. Therefore, Aliens equals bad. That’s an opinion. But you are an Alien and you are not bad. Therefore, Alien does not equal bad? That’s a fact?” Some of the Angara who had joined them were starting to pin Yolsi with incomprehensible looks, but she remained as unfazed as ever. 

“Well, yes and no.” Robin shifted in her seat, “Aliens are neither good nor bad. ‘Alien’ is a concept. To me, _you_ are an Alien. We are different, yes, but we are both people. People are good. People are bad. People are, sometimes, neither, and sometimes both.”

“So, by that logic, the Kett both are and are not Aliens. They are people, some of which, may be ‘good’, as you say.”

“It’s different with Kett. They’re murderers, every single one we’ve come across. Even if they themselves think otherwise.”

“But then…that is opinion – not fact. The fact is, then, that all Kett _are_ bad – despite what they think personally. All Kett are Aliens. All Aliens are bad. We’ve come full circle.” Yolsi’s grin slashed across her face but she said nothing more. By now her compatriots were shifting uncomfortably where they sat. Robin wasn’t sure what to make of their exchange, and she wasn’t sure if she’d passed whatever test Yolsi had been putting her through. For some reason, she was prompted to say one last thing.

“Nothing exists in absolutes.” Deciding this conversation was over, Robin hid her discomfort by attempting sleep once again. She closed her eyes just in time to see Yolsi’s expression become thoughtful.

Robin couldn’t say how long they’d been flying for by the time she woke up again. She looked around bleary eyed and noticed that bar the pilot and the co-pilot, everyone else was asleep too. It was strangely quiet, she thought. She unclasped her seatbelt, and stood up to stretch her legs. There was a large window to her left, and Robin peered out of it curiously. Space was bafflingly huge. It amazed her that somewhere, somehow, all across the universe people had managed to find a way to…not drop out of it. Flying through the mass, star-speckled darkness should seem amazing. It really should, considering how sheltered she and her sister had lived – hidden away in the middle of nowhere, hoping they wouldn’t be found. And even then, through all _that_ , someone had boarded a spacecraft, zoomed through the dark emptiness as easily as walking, and torn everything to shreds.

And now it was happening again.

How long would she spend her life being chased? She couldn’t hide on Earth. She couldn’t hide in the cesspit that was Omega. She couldn’t hide in the dozens of archaeological digs she had spent her academic life in, hopping from one planet to another. And now, it seemed, she couldn’t hide in an entirely different galaxy. It was just someone different chasing her, and they wanted her dead or close to. Robin couldn’t decide if that was better or worse than her previous pursuers.

“It’s beautiful out there, isn’t it?” Yolsi came up behind her, shoulder leaning against the wall as she joined Robin in looking out.

“I think it’s a bit scary, really.” Robin admitted. Yolsi nodded, her lips curled up in a smile. The two of them stood regarding each other silently for a while. Yolsi was taller than many of the other Angaran’s she had met, and wiry. Blue, like Evfra, but darker, and the pattern on her crest was a mottling of grey and white – symmetrical on each side. She had the typical Angaran eyes, large and glittering. It was like staring into a galaxy, and Robin felt herself flush, unable to look away. 

“That’s sensible.” Yolsi’s accent was like Avela’s, typical of the Angara on Aya.

 

\---

 

She couldn’t place it. This feeling of wanting to goad and tease, to argue and laugh, even though there was something much darker behind it. She was pretty, Yolsi would admit. Or, at least she thought Robin was. Who knows what standards these aliens had for beauty, but Yolsi liked her hair – odd and fluffy as it was. And she liked her eyes. Never expected to see eyes so dark, but the longer she looked – even in the dimness – the more colours she could see. Yolsi frowned, turning to lean her back against the wall, finally breaking their mutual stare. 

Nothing exists in absolutes. Why wouldn’t those words leave her?

“Is that Voeld I can see there?” Robin’s voice sounded quiet compared to the constant hum of the engine. Yolsi turned her head to look out at the looming pale planet. 

“Yep. We should be landing in half an hour or so. Best get back to our seats, entering the atmosphere can be bumpy with Voeld’s storms. Don’t want you all bruised and lumpy when we hand you over to your darling Evfra, now do we, little kaerkyn?” Yolsi laughed at the heated glare she received.

“Stop that.” Robin grumbled, shuffling back to her seat and clicking the safety straps into place, “That’s not really what people have been saying, is it? I mean…it’s Evfra. Have you ever met him?” 

“Haven’t had the pleasure, no.”

“That explains it.” Robin shook her head, Yolsi watched in fascination as her hair swished around her face with the movement, “He’s a bit of a dick.”

“I’m sorry, I think my translator just glitched, _what_ did you call Evfra?” Yolsi was startled by the sound of Robin’s laugh. Disturbed by the wrinkles above her nose when she smiled that smile.

“I mean, I get why he has to be the way he is. But he’s…not the kind of person you grow close to. Too prickly. Too…fickle.” Robin clamped her mouth shut after that, but Yolsi did not miss the flash of bitterness in her tone. Ah, it seemed Robin’s heart was moved where Evfra’s was not, or so her charge seemed to believe. _Well_ , she thought sitting back and bracing for landing, _I guess the little alien won’t be too disappointed when we get there_. She didn’t allow herself to think on what would happen when they did.

 

\---

 

“Hey big blue!” Evfra felt his spine go stiff as the chirping voice behind him hailed their greeting. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

Ryder. Two of them.

“Do not.”

“Wow, you weren’t wrong.” He turned to face them then, marvelled at how different these twins looked. It was almost overwhelming how much differentiation there was among the number of the humans he’d met. Their skin came in a range of shades, though it was un-patterned on the crest unless they’d applied a ‘tattoo’. Then there was their hair, which also came in a number of colours, textures and lengths. It was confusing, honestly. As he eyed the Ryder twins, he could make out the similarities. Of course they had the same, dark skin with matching white smiles. But it was more in their features, the shape of the eyes and the noses that demonstrated their resemblance. No wonder they were so bad at telling Angara apart – the differences amongst their kind were so obvious they’d never had to learn to pick up on the more subtle nuances in appearance. The other Nexus aliens he had met were less like this.

“Which one of you is Ryder now, I’m not learning two names.”

“I’m older.” Sara stepped forward, “And smarter. Prettier, too. Therefore, I’m Ryder. He’s just average old Scott.”

“Debatable on that ‘prettier’ one, or at least that’s what Reyes tells me.” He stepped forward, offering Evfra a hand in greeting. He looked at it for a moment, unsure of what he was supposed to do with it, until he vaguely remembered something Robin had said about shaking it. He glanced down, took Scott’s fingers, and gave them a little jiggle. That would do.

“I’m glad the two of you are here,” Evfra turned back to the map he had been studying, “I think we’re almost ready to attack the facility. Anjik says the scouts have found a weak point – fewer patrols.” Ryder came up beside him, her brother on the other side.

“This is the facility?” Scott pointed to the highlighted area on the hollomap. Evfra nodded, and Scott returned to pondering, rubbing his chin as he contemplated.

“Where are the entrance points?” Ryder asked. Evfra tapped on the map, bringing it closer. It was a rough outline, and likely not entirely correct. But it was the best his scouts could do considering the storms and the difficulty of getting anywhere near where they need to be.

“Nilj indicated that he and his team have discovered this facility is the one responsible for a large part of the Kett comings and goings – any verification on that?” Ryder was bent over the map, and Evfra wondered for a moment what was going through her head. The armour she and brother wore was white, which seemed a particularly good tactical decision given the general landscape of Voeld. With their helmets on, they would be very difficult to spot through the average scope. He felt a sense of respect welling, he’d seen what just one of the Ryder twins was capable of (albeit with the help of a competent team and one of his best agents), and he was eager to find out how they would work as a team. A force to be reckoned with, surely. 

“We’ve managed to identify various Kett frequencies that show an increase of activity centred on the place. Nilj and his team seem to believe that this is their head operations facility on Voeld. Buxil has confirmed, as you know.” Evfra supplied. It was fortunate that Ryder’s penchant for coming to the rescue had extended to seemingly random Angaran captives as Nilj was integral to the Voeld reconnaissance efforts. Both he and his sister were a key part of the long-term plan of retaking Voeld – or at least the majority of it. Havarl was largely considered the birthplace of the Angaran people – though, now with the discovery of the Jaardan calling it a ‘birth’ place didn’t seem to fit too well – but Voeld had always been thought of as an Angaran planet. It was _theirs_. They had been made, quite literally, for the cold of it. So naturally, taking it back from those alien usurpers was high on the list, and Evfra would not deny his eagerness. This was his home planet, and though he did not relish being back because of the memories associated with it, the thought of annihilating the Kett here actually made him smile – something he hadn’t done in a very long time. Excepting those moments with R-. _No_.

“Buxil’s efforts at decrypting the password for the operations station is paying off. With your SAM’s help, it will take us an hour, if not less, to overrun the facility.”

“Right. We’ll need some time to brief our team and set up a general plan of action.” Ryder pushed away from the map with a nod of agreement from her brother, “I’d give it until tomorrow at the earliest before we head out.”

“I agree.” Evfra gave them both considering looks, feeling strangely secure with the thought that they were the ones responsible for bulk of the mission’s success, “It would be better to wait until the day after tomorrow. There’s a storm heading this way, it’ll be too hard to get through – even with your Nomad.” 

It seemed that there was nothing left for them to do at that moment, and Evfra took the brief snatch of spare time to read through his messages. It was easy to get lost in the pattern of things now that he was out of his office, and he had been forced to prioritise. An amazing feeling, really. Being able to prioritise something other than keeping his people alive. He wondered how long it would last, and then chastised himself. This should be something to enjoy, something to be made the best of. But it was hard to set aside practicality. And bitterness, if he were to be honest. There had always been so much to be bitter about. Maybe there always would.

His commlink blipped, signalling that someone wanted to talk to him via what Ryder called his ‘omnitool’. He did not recognise the caller, which automatically set his teeth on edge. It wasn’t a private link either, meaning if he chose to accept the call everyone present would hear, and for some reason he knew that he did not want them to. Evfra grit his teeth hard enough to feel them grind together and answered the call.

“ _You answered quickly. Must be your famous intuition. I feel privileged to see it in action first-hand._ ” 

Evfra said nothing. Ryder and her brother watched him with matching expressions of confusion.

“ _No greeting? I won’t pretend to feel slighted._ ”

“Get to the point, Onran.”

“ _I have something you want._ ” He sounded so smug, so unbearably smug. Evfra could feel a pressure building in his forehead – a clear sign that it was all about to go to shit.

“ _Someone, rather._ ”

 

\---

 

“Warm enough, kaerkyn?”

Robin gave Yolsi a long, slow side-glare. It would have been a good look, very scathing. But walking through snow was hard. Walking through snow wearing three layers of clothing that had been designed for a body shape utterly alien to hers – pun intended – surpassed hard. Moved into the downright difficult category. And so scathing looks and witty rejoinders would have to be left behind. Like her pride. And her warm clothes, as she had not seen fit to pack any of those, considering Elaaden was a planet sized oven. Robin managed to be cold and superior for all of seven seconds before tripping and falling face first in the snow.

“Is that what you’re going to be calling me from now on? Because I have some very strong objections.” She grumbled whilst Yolsi helped her regain her balance. Robin shot a look at the Angaran behind her. He could have helped too, he was closer than Yolsi after all, but instead he’d just watched her flail about in the snow. Apparently Evfra wasn’t the only dick. Maybe he was just bitter because it was one of his pants that she was wearing. Many of the Angaran women had teeny tiny waists, much too small compared to Robin’s hips, so it was a handful of the men who had had to part with their spare clothing in order to make sure she wasn’t an icicle by the time they got to wherever they were taking her.

Robin had always thought she preferred the cold to hot weather, it was much easier to warm up than it was to cool down, but she was seriously reconsidering that opinion. Knee deep in snow, with a wind so cold it felt like tiny needles slicing through her, she was almost beginning to long for the boiling nothingness she had just come from. She’d never seen so much white in all her life, no matter where she looked it was either snowed over or frozen. It was beautiful, and so terrifyingly quiet. With all that snow to absorb every sound, it was easy to lose herself in thought – they were the only things she could really hear. She couldn’t understand, at first, why they hadn’t taken a vehicle of some sort, but then they reached the first narrow crevice, where they had to walk in single-file to get through and it became clearer. With the wind in the condition it was, they’d been told it was too dangerous to take the shuttle. Personally, Robin didn’t think that made a whole lot of sense – those things were built to fly through space. Plus, if the wind wasn’t too dangerous to walk through, as it apparently wasn’t, then surely it’d be fine for a shuttle. But, she wasn’t a scientist or weatherman, so what would she know in the end? The scientists that had been travelling with them from Elaaden had stayed on, which made Robin feel slightly more comfortable. If she had any doubts about where she was being taken, she would remind herself that Evfra had asked for the scientists too, so she must be with the right people.

“Not far now. Why are your lips blue?” It was Yolsi again – she was the only one who had said more than a single word to Robin this entire time. The others didn’t even talk amongst themselves, which made her feel uneasy.

“It happens sometimes,” Robin explained, teeth chattering, “when humans are very, _very_ cold.”

“Right. Well, look there,” Yolsi pointed, “see that dark smudge against the clifface? That’s where we’re headed. There are heating lamps there, we’ll set you up close to one.”

“How long will I be here for? Maybe I should just go back to the Nexus, I’m sure everyone would prefer that – I’d be out of the way then.”

“I can’t say.” Yolsi looked off into the distance, her face turned away so Robin could not read her expression, “I’m just the – what did you call it before? – the babysitter? I don’t make any of the decisions. But…I think you might be here for a while.” Robin looked her escort sceptically, a rush of thoughts going through her head.

“Is there a washing machine? Because I didn’t bring enough clean underpants to last me ‘a while’.”

“I don’t kno-…what are ‘under pants’?”

“Um,” Robin blinked at her, “they are smaller pants that we wear under our normal pants. Do you not wear those?” Yolsi looked at her up and down after Robin told her this, looking confused.

“Why? Why so many pants?”

“I-…” Robin had to think for a moment. She’d been in a lot of interesting situations in her life, and working closely with aliens had always been a part of her job so cultural differences was something she was well used to. But in all her experiences, no one had ever asked her why she was wearing so many pants. It was really rare, when she thought about, to encounter an experience that was both utterly mundane and entirely new. She was about to give an answer when she was roughly pushed against an icy cliff, Yolsi’s arm pinning her flat. Alarmed, Robin looked towards her, seeing that she had pressed her own back against the cliff too and was looking upwards. The other members of their group were doing the same. Following their gazes, Robin looked upwards. For a moment or two she saw nothing, just freshly falling snow, and then suddenly a shuttle darted across her vision. From its shape, it looked to be Angaran. Why, then, were they hiding from it?

“Best start walking quicker, little kaerkyn. You’re shaking all over, we need to get you somewhere warmer soon. Even if blue does look good on you.” Yolsi winked but did not explain what their abrupt pause had been about, and an unsettling feeling was starting to lodge in Robin’s stomach. She ignored it. If she was right, then she’d rather be utterly shocked and enjoy the last bitter moments of freedom – icy as they were.

They trekked on in silence for another twenty or so minutes, though time was hard to guess when she was as cold as she was. Her mind was becoming sluggish, and found herself stumbling more and more as her legs became numb. She was just about reaching her breaking point when they finally arrived. Too cold to notice much, even Robin couldn’t miss the heavily armed guards at the entrance to what looked to be a town built into the cliff face. The moment they entered through the first checkpoint, the scientists who had been with them wandered off, Robin could hear them noisily greeting friends in the background. She was rushed off as soon as she had been processed, and promptly found herself seated in front of a heat lamp. Though her skin stung as she began to defrost, it was nice to feel her feet again.

 

\---

 

Evfra said nothing, but he felt his lips pull up in a snarl.

“ _Your silence is fooling no one, Evfra de Tershaav. But I’m sure you won’t simply take my word for it, and I know you are far too proud to admit your curiosity._ ” If he could Evfra would reach through the commlink and throttle Onran – not only because he was right.

“ _What’s going on?_ ” Stars. He’d finally gotten the sound of her voice out of his head, but he’d recognise it anywhere, “ _Yolsi?_ ” Ryder made a surprised noise, and made her way closer to Evfra.

“Is that Robin? Isn’t she supposed to be on Aya?”

“ _Yes,_ pathfinder,” Onran’s use of her title was dripping with malice, “ _we’ve managed to acquire Evfra’s little pet. Perhaps now you’ll be more willing to treat the Roekaar as the equals we are. After all, this one human is worth more to you, Evfra, than we are. You can have her back, hale and unharmed – you have my word on this. But I want whatever weapon you uncover in Jaar Nix. I’m sorry it had to come to this, believe me, if I had more civilised way to handle the situation I would have chosen that. But you refuse to listen to reason, and this was the only way to make you see. We even left multiple warnings for you, both on Aya and Elaaden, but you ignored those as you have ignored us._ ”

Blank. His mind was blank. Words wouldn’t come out, or rather, he couldn’t decide which ones to say. _Threaten him_ , one voice said, _threaten to choke the life out of him with own bloody hands_. _Ignore him_ , another louder voice chimed in. Evfra paused, listening to the latter. Onran was smart, and just as proud as he accused Evfra of being. There was no greater insult than to be ignored, which would also make him utterly powerless. He waited a moment longer, letting the silence sink in so that Onran knew what happened next was entirely deliberate and not some by-product of the bad weather, and then he ended the commlink. Shut off the channel.

Ryder and her twin stared at him in silence. But where Scott’s look was still confused, Ryder’s was dark.

“The fuck, Evfra?” Her voice was harsh when she was angry, but even-toned, “Did that asshole just say he was with the Roekaar?”

“Onran is growing desperate, but he knows he’d start a war if he did anything.” Even Evfra didn’t fully believe in what he was saying, but he had to say something because the quieter voice in his head was growing frantic. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath to calm his mind. He had to keep his thoughts rational. The mission always comes first, whatever this was could be dealt with later.

“Oh, like the Roekaar started a war by killing all those people on Kadara? Funny, I missed that war.”

“We have a mission to take care of. I’m sorry, I am, but we have to prioritise.”

“Ok, that’s fair.” From the tone of her voice, Evfra could tell that this was not all Ryder had to say on the matter. He was not surprised when crossed her arms and gave him a hard stare, “You take care of the mission, then. Good luck getting into the base and using _my_ SAM to decrypt the console – or even finding the right one. Because I’m not leaving anyone – let alone someone I am _friends_ with – in the oh-so loving care of _genocidal racists_!”

“You cannot allow your emotions to decide your actions, Ryder.”

“Wow.” She gave him an incredulous look, even Scott looked surprised, “Are you even Angaran?”

“I am practical.”

“And I’m serious. Robin is a civilian, I’m not leaving her surrounded by people who want her dead. If you’ll stop being an ass, you’ll realise that you don’t want that either. You’re a good leader, Evfra. You don’t become that way by being unfeeling.” As she spoke, Evfra felt himself agree. But he was conflicted, because not only was this an opportunity to discover what was hidden inside the ancient city, but they would retake Voeld. His home would…it would never be home again, but it would be free. A Voeld without any Kett in it? That was something he used to fantasise about on his darkest days, he refused to let go of that goal now that he was so close to achieving it.

“Ryder, everything has already been set into motion. You and your brother and the only ones who can do this, we _need_ you. The Kett are still vulnerable, scrambling for a foothold, now is the best time to do ths.” Evfra would not plead. But he would ask as nicely as he knew how. Ryder considered him for a long time, her mouth pressed into a flat line. 

“We take the facility in two days time as previously organised. But _you_ ,” She levelled a finger at him, “are going to go get Robin. You’ll leave as soon as the storm is over. That’s the only way this going down.”

“Fine.” Evfra replied, a vein in his temple twitching.


	9. Special Snowflake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo everyone! Sorry for the super long break. I just had too much stuff to finish with uni (this was my final year), so i figured I had to hunker down and do what I HAD to do, before doing what i WANTED to do. I've got until March next year before I start my Masters degree, and I hope to have the fic finished by then! I've already got it all planned out, so please keep your eyes open.
> 
> Once again, I want to give you all the biggest and most heartfelt thank you. I'm still receiving comments and kudos even after so long away, it really inspires me so much! I love reading what you guys have to say, and what theories you come up with, so please feel free to leave multiple comments :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a little longer than they usually are because I was away for so long and I wanted to give you some fluffy Evfra moments as a thank you. Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> This chapter is spoiler free.

Robin hunched down beside the heating lamp, her teeth chattering madly. It was hard to tell the passage of time with only artificial lights to bring brightness to her surroundings, but she knew that more than a few days had passed since Yolsi had brought her to the Roekaar out-station. Paxyl, Yolsi had called it. It was little better than a ruin, half-buried as it was inside the mountain. Its location made it hard to spot, and given the fact that most of what had once been a large city had been lost at first to Kett, and then again to avalanches that were terrifying common in the area, she felt sure that no one could happen upon it accidentally. Which meant no spontaneous rescuing. All around, Robin could hear the storm continue to hammer against the walls and she couldn’t help but worry there’d be another avalanche if this kept up.

She’d been mostly ignored since she had arrived, which she counted as lucky considering most of the Angara around her were all too happy to shoot her in the back of the head if given half a chance. Onran had locked her in a room with a heater, a cot, and single window that she never risked looking out of because usually she found one of the guards stationed outside glaring at her. Yolsi came in twice a day to deliver food packets, which Robin honestly considered a form of torture. Angaran food tasted like wet cement, but with less flavour. Though, she supposed she was lucky she was being fed at all. She couldn’t imagine what Onran wanted her for. As far as hostages went, she wasn’t exactly the best choice. She had no influence, she had very little Angaran money, and there was no great talent of hers that a crazy racist might find useful. He would have been better off taking someone from Havarl – there were plenty of Nexus engineers stationed there. But then again, maybe she shouldn’t be thinking of giving Onran kidnapping advice. He’d done well enough hacking into Evfra’s personal terminal and orchestrating her transfer to Voeld, so clearly engineers weren’t what he was after.

The door to her prison hissed open, and Yolsi stepped in – her arms full and her face blank. Until the door shut again, and she grinned at Robin.

“Morning, kaerkyn.” She set down a food pack and a bottle of water on Robin’s bed, “Not hungry?”

“No.” Robin muttered, crossing her arms and refusing to look at the Angaran.

“Still cold?” Yolsi sounded concerned, and Robin couldn’t understand why. Sure, it made sense to be open and friendly while she’d been tricking Robin into a sense of familiarity and trust, but why maintain the façade? There was the sound of fabric rustling, and Robin was startled to find something warm and heavy being draped over her shoulders. It was a blanket made of wool – or close to it. The relief it gave her was immediate, and she snuggled into its warmth, burying her nose.

“Thanks.” She mumbled, somewhat muffled from the blanket.

“Anything for our favourite guest.” Yolsi was looking smug as she leaned against the wall, “I had to sneak it past the two Skutt-for-brains outside your door.” Silence followed this. Robin wasn’t sure why she was still here, though the previous times Yolsi came in, she had always tried to make conversation. It was just that Robin hadn’t been in a particularly chatty mood. She sighed, and decided to give in. There was no point making the experience even more unpleasant for herself than she had to.

“Yolsi, what am I doing here?” Robin stayed on the floor by the heater, but she angled her face towards Yolsi, “What does Onran want with me?”

“With you? Nothing.” Yolsi began to look uncomfortable, as though she wasn’t quite sure of how much she should say, “It’s more what he can trade you for.”

“ _Trade_ me?” Robin dropped the blanket in alarm, “What, like a slave? How is that different from the Kett!”

“No, no!” Yolsi’s hands lifted up, urging Robin to keep her voice down, “Look, there’s something Onran wants from Evfra. We tried the ‘correct’ channels and got shut down, and we’ve had to resort to playing dirty. So, now we have something Evfra wants.” Robin’s mouth hung open incredulously. Well, what did she expect from a band of murderous racists? Common sense? Logical thought processes?

“And what happens to me when Evfra doesn’t accept your offer, because he won’t.” Robin’s voice cracked as she spoke, imagining the fate that waited for her in the not too distant future.

“He will.”

“No, Yolsi, he won’t.” She got to her feet, bringing the blanket with her, and pointed an accusatory finger towards Yolsi, “You people are so blinded by your hatred that you apparently can’t even think clearly. Evfra was nice to me. Nice, not doting or devoted, but _nice_. Because the Moshae asked him to be. You remember the Moshae? Old lady with the fancy hat? Revered and respected by your people? The person who asks people to do things and they do them because she’s the Moshae? That Moshae. Evfra couldn’t care less about me, personally. On Aya, letting the Roekaar harass me looked bad. Out here? What’s one more alien brutalised and murdered by you.”

“Hey, hey now, I’ve never _murdered_ anyone. Alien or otherwise.”

“So you’re telling me you’ve never shot at anyone from the Nexus purely because they’re not Angaran?”

“ _Yes._ Robin, I’ve never shot at anyone who didn’t shoot at me first.” Yolsi pushed away from the wall and stepped to Robin, placing her hands on her shoulders, “I promise you.”

“Oh, because the promise of a woman who kidnapped me really means a lot.” Robin’s sardonic comment was met with a chuckle, and she looked up at Yolsi – surprised. Did all Angarans have such pretty eyes?

“How about the promise of a woman who vows to get you out safely if Evfra doesn’t agree to the trade?” Robin’s heart raced at the thought, hope making her feel slightly giddy.

“Why would you do that?” She couldn’t help but ask. Yolsi shrugged, giving Robin’s chin a quick tweak.

“I like your hair.” She said at last as she pulled away, “And I like your laugh. It’d be a pity to never hear it again.” With that, Yolsi banged once on the door for the guards to open it, and left. Leaving Robin’s heart racing all over again. She pressed a hand to her cheek, and sure enough, it was burning.

 

\---

 

Two weeks. Two weeks of a storm too powerful to even see through. Two weeks of a storm so strong, vehicles and ships were blown to smithereens. Evfra paced before one of the terminals within the rebel stronghold. Hanging up on Onran had been a rash decision – one he now regretted. He was sure the Roekaar would be reasonable enough to understand the storm interfered with communication – his leadership was a different brand to Akksul’s – he also knew he had provoked him unnecessarily. Worse, or so he told himself, the storm kept the Ryder twins from getting out there and taking down that facility. They _had_ to see inside those ruins. That weapon was more important than anyone’s life.

With a frustrated grunt, he renewed his pacing with extra vigour. With the storm came a hidden blessing – if their ships couldn’t fly, neither could the Kett. But ancestors only knew what they were up to whilst Resistance spies were rendered useless. Even Evfra himself was little better than that. All he had managed to do before the storm hit was message Avela about the ID of the shuttle that had brought Robin in. Clearly, the Roekaar had only recently stolen the ship, as the Resistance was still able to keep track of its flight path – up until the storm, that is. After the storm was over, Evfra doubted they would ever see the shuttle again. He did not mention to Avela that her favourite human had been taken by the Roekaar, knowing she would be too taken up with questions about Robin’s safety and how his personal terminal had been hacked. He couldn’t figure out an answer to that last one, not unless one of his own soldiers had been a Roekaar agent all along. Or had joined them after his stupid, momentary…lapse.

After a few preliminary searches, Evfra had found the shuttle’s last known location, but that had been weeks ago, and there was no guaranteeing that it was anywhere near where Robin was being kept. But the sooner he was able to leave to go and fetch her, the sooner the Resistance and its Nexus allies could get their hands on that weapon.

“Hey!” It was Ryder, her short, dark hair a mussed mess around her face, “Any news on Robin? Were you able to get through to Onran again? We’ve had zero luck communicating with any of the other outposts, or the agents we prepped for the mission.”

“The storm is blocking all in-coming and out-going messages. As has been the case every other time you’ve come to ask me.” Evfra rubbed his temple, annoyed that she was pestering him _again_. “You are wasting both of our time by asking me the same questions every hour. If I had anything for you, I’d tell you.”

“Don’t get stroppy with me, big blue.” Ryder pointed a finger at him angrily, “Robin is in this shit because of you. I mean, yeah she attracts trouble like a magnet, but this time? It’s on you, buddy.”

“I can’t wait to hear why that’s the case.” Evfra drawled, already shutting off the part of his brain that was listening to her.

“Oh, sure. I had a wee chat with the Moshae before the storm hit.” Ryder plonked herself down on a nearby desk, cutting short Evfra’s pacing, “Apparently the Roekaar had been leaving behind warnings for you for quite a while now.  
  
“What?”

“Yeah. She said she even tried to tell you about it, but the big bad resistance leader didn’t have time to hear her out.” For a moment Evfra regarded Ryder in confused silence – though he wouldn’t let it show. What in Heleus was she talking about? His thoughst flashed back to his brief interaction with the Moshae before leaving for Voeld. Was that what she had been trying to tell him? Damn it! Why didn’t she leave a message, warn him? Unless, she had. And whoever had hacked his terminal had made sure he would never see it.

“Skutt.” Evfra cursed, wiping a hand over his face.

“Try saying ‘Fuck’.” Ryder crossed her arms, clearly annoyed, “As in, you’re fucked.”

“I don’t think the translator is giving me the meaning you intend.” Evfra muttered.

“You get that I’m swearing at you?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s giving you exactly what I ‘intend’. Look,” Ryder slid from the desk and stood in front of him, “Can you stop being an ass for now, and just work on finding Robin? That weapon will be ours, or yours – whatever. But Robin isn’t a soldier. She’s defenceless and in enemy hands. I think you can figure out what they’ll do to her when the figure out we’re not going to make a deal with them.” She didn’t wait for a response, instead she brushed past him and returned to her own work. She must be closer to Robin than he had originally thought. Keeping Ryder happy wasn’t normally on the top of his list, but she and her crew were too important to this mission, so for now she had to be made the number one priority. And in doing so, it made Robin the number one priority. And really, if he were to be honest, he’d been looking for excuses to do just that since he’d heard her voice during that last vidcall. He was going to rescue Robin, deposit her safely on the Nexus, cuff her to something in order to keep her there if he had to, and then he was going to get her out of his bloody head.

“Evfra, sir?”

“What is it now?” He snapped at the soldier who didn’t react to his bad temper. They were all used to him – what had Ryder called it? Being an ‘ass’. Instead, the soldier gave him a short bow and continued with her report.

“Sir, we’ve had word from some of the scouts. The storm is still ongoing, but some of our soldiers have managed to fight their way through to us. As far as we could tell, the outposts are fine. No lasting damage. And Kett ships have been unable to fly though the storm. Unfortunately, that no longer seems to be true. One of the scouts reported Kett sightings out on the flats. Anjik thinks it’s safe enough to send a small team to eliminate them, but she wanted to double check with you.” 

His thoughts began to whir, a plan taking form in his mind. After a moment, he remembered the soldier waiting for his answer.

“Yes. Tell Anjik to do what’s necessary.” The soldier nodded and hurried off, leaving Evfra to consider how he was going to get away without being spotted. He tended to be noticed.

Angry and determined, he walked with purpose to his armoury, ignoring or brushing off the various people who tried to address him. Eventually, they got the idea and left him in peace – assuming he had something important to do. Which he did. Sniper rifle. Shotgun. Pistol. He doubted he’d need all three, but he’d make an excuse to use every. Single. One of them. The storm was still interrupting communications, but safe enough now to move through unnoticed. He was sure Ryder would inform anyone who asked after him where he had gone, should his presence be missed sooner than he’d like. It had been a while since he had gone out alone on a mission, but he was older now. More experienced. And Onran? Well, Onran was…fucked.

 

\---

 

It disappointed him how easy it was to steal a shuttle from the Resistance. Likely, his rank and face had helped him, but really. He should still have been made to fill out the correct procedures before hopping in and taking off. Evfra mentally filed that as something that would have to be taken care of once Robin was safe and Jaar Nix had been reclaimed. Their security was supposed to be better than this.

For some hours he flew, making slow progress across Voeld’s wintry expanse. It took a great deal of effort from the shuttle to power through the storm, and almost constant steering on his part. A momentary lapse might send him and the shuttle careening into the nearby mountains. After what seemed like an age, Evfra finally landed at the last known location of Robin’s shuttle. If there had been any sign of her passing, it was covered weeks ago. Not for the first time, he thought a scanner like Ryder’s would come in handy. But he did not like to think of an AI inside his head doing all his thinking for him. Though, it would finally give him some to just…rest. That was strange. He’d never really wanted to do that before. With Kett being a constant presence, he had always _had_ to fight. And he had enjoyed it. There was little better than shredding your enemies to pieces. Now that Voeld was close to being free of the vermin, he was almost feverish to get the fight started again. But this time…this time he was thinking of _after_ the fight. Not thinking about where to go next, but about resting. Enjoying the freedom. It seemed like he’d never really done that before. Perhaps being on Voeld was making him sentimental. If so, he didn’t like it. At all.

Evfra straightened, looking across the large, white expanse. It was impossible to tell which way she had been taken. It was probable, even, that they had landed here and backtracked some before taking off in a different ship. Although, no. No, if there had been another ship his scouts would have spotted it. Which meant either the Roekaar had stolen multiple Resistance ships, or they had walked from here. The first, Evfra was certain was unlikely. Stealing from him once was risky. Twice was a death wish. Plus, no other ship had been documented as flying this way. But the latter option also seemed out of the question. Humans were vulnerable to cold, as he had discovered from listening to Ryder and her other human crew mates complain. And as she had mentioned, Robin was not combat trained, which meant it would have been extremely difficult for her to move across Voeld during its normal weather. Having her out in the storm seemed far too dangerous. Onran wouldn’t risk losing his bargaining chip before he’d had a chance to bring Evfra his offer. But then, of course, it was likely that Onran knew next to nothing about aliens other than their weak spots – which was almost everywhere for humans. He wouldn’t have known Robin couldn’t survive the cold like they could.

“Insufferable veshaanan.” Evfra spat, moving to return to the shuttle. If they had walked, which now seemed the case, he still had to figure out in which direction. _Think, Evfra. There has to be a reason why they walked instead of flying._ He wracked his brain, and could think that walking was less conspicuous. They risked drawing too much attention if they took a shuttle. But even walking, they would had have been spotted by scouting vessels eventually. Unless…Evfra hurried to slip the sniper rifle from his back, lifting the scope to his eye. At first he was met with only endless expanse of snow, growing thicker by the minute. But…there! A crevice! Too narrow for a vehicle, and no one would suspect people of hiding in it, therefore no one would look. It was hard to tell only seeing it through the rifle’s scope, but at some places it seemed too narrow even to walk through. Likely it was wider at the bottom than it was at the top. 

Evfra returned to the shuttle, removing a pack with supplies in it. He would need to walk through the pass too. Flying over would be far too suspicious, and with the storm clearing up, the possibility of his shuttle being spotted doubled. After a moment’s hesitation, he removed a thick coat from the shuttle, too. He wouldn’t need it – both his physiology and armour made sure of that, but Robin might. He was _not_ getting her out of Roekaar hands only to lose her to the weather. The shuttle would be safe enough where it was, and he would need it on his way back. No one would be able to fly it without knowing the passcode to its controls, and he had made sure to change those before he left. If worse came to worse, it’d be destroyed by Kett and one of his soldiers would be sent to pick them up. Or Ryder herself, considering how much Robin meant to her.

It took him longer than he could have hoped to get down to the ravine, thanks to wind and razer-sharp snowflakes stinging his face. He was certain he’d walked for hours, and even though he was frustrated by the slow progress, he had to make certain he was careful. Every ten or so minutes, he would hunker down and peer through the scope of his rifle, searching for any Roekaar scouts that may be keeping an eye out. Evfra could not imagine what was down here, there were no reports of outposts on the surface which meant the Roekaar station could be underground. There weren’t even any old Angaran cities this way, well none that were still standing or structurally safe enough to use. It didn’t matter. He was going to find her, rip out Onran’s heart, and bring her back to the Resistance base. Hopefully he’d be back in time to meet Ryder before she left for the mission. He didn’t expect this mission to take him longer than a day.

 

\---

 

“Onran. You wanted to see me?” Yolsi wasn’t usually called in to his office person one-on-one chats unless she was being reprimanded for something. She knew her actions tended to be a whole lot of act first, think afterwards and damn the consequences, but for the past two weeks she’d made certain to keep her head down and stay out of trouble. She didn’t want whispers of her frequent visits to Robin reaching Onran’s ears. Considering she had kept herself out of trouble, it meant he’d heard about unexplainable attachment, and Yolsi was about to receive the biggest verbal thrashing of her life. He might even lock her away while Robin was in his charge, just to be safe. Which, when she thought about it, was probably a smart move.

Stars! At first she couldn’t understand what it was about the little human that kept drawing her back. _Nothing exists in absolutes_. She had spent days mulling those words over in her head, and they had caused her no small amount of grief. Yolsi didn’t consider herself racist, but then racists rarely ever did. So much of what she had thought of aliens had come from bias passed down by other Roekaar. None of them had actually bothered to learn anything about these visitors from the Milky Way. No one was absolutely bad. No one was absolutely good. And yet there were exceptions to every rule. She didn’t think their suspicion was unfounded – considering how their welcoming nature and openness had resulted in almost total annihilation by the Kett – but she was willing to admit that, just as they’d been wrong to act that way with the Kett, they were wrong _not_ to act that way the Nexus. Or at least…with Robin.

“Yes.” Onran gave her a once over, assessing her. His expression revealed nothing about what conclusions he came to, “It’s not been lost on me that you’ve been spending a lot of time with it.” It. He meant Robin. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from correcting him.

“Sir.” She replied, waiting for whatever punishment he was about to slam down on her. She wasn’t afraid. Onran wasn’t like Akksul. She’d only worked with the former Roekaar leader once, and she refused to do it ever again. The man had been violent to a concerning degree.

“I have to say…I’m impressed.” Onran smiled at her. He was a dappled green-yellow, almost like the forest floor on a sunny day on Aya, and looked as benevolent as he sounded. Yolsi was utterly shocked. He was impressed? Why?

“Er…thank you, sir.”

“Not many Roekaar would take such initiative. They’re not smart about their hatred, which makes them not smart about a lot of other things. But you? Building up a rapport with the thing. Earning its trust. That’s clever. That’s the kind of clever thinking the Roekaar need. Not trigger happy morons. Tell me,” he moved to sit behind his desk, steepling his fingers under his chin, “what have you learned? What secrets is it hiding?” Yolsi’s mind raced. She didn’t risk telling him that Robin truly believed Evfra didn’t give an adhi’s ear about her. Which was really saying something, considering adhis don’t have ears. If Onran became convinced she was useless, then he’d kill her and toss her corpse to the Echidnas waiting with their snapping jaws, out in the snow.

“I’m afraid that sh-. That _it_ is just as witless as it seems. It knows nothing about Evfra or his plans. Or anyone’s plans, really. It just studied history.” Yolsi resisted chewing her lip while she waited for Onran to process this information. He grimaced and shook his head.

“Well, that makes the decision easy.”

“What decision, sir?” Dread sat like a cold pebble in Yolsi’s stomach.

“We’ve been able to send and receive messages for two hours now, and no word from Evfra. I know that human is important to him, but it seems he doesn’t take us seriously as a threat. That means he needs to learn, and it needs to die. Since you put so much effort into this, you can do the honours. I just want the human gone. I’m sick of it. And then, you’d better get yourself out of here. And fast. Once Evfra finds out his pet is dead, he’ll be angry. And vengeful, if our character profile on him is anything to go by. So, I’m not leaving anything left here to find.”

“Nobody has started packing up, though. Shouldn’t we get everyone on the move now, already?” And clear them all out so she didn’t have to deal with anyone while she was smuggling Robin to safety.

“You misunderstand me, Yolsi. When I say I’m not leaving anything here to find, I mean anything that the Resistance and their alien allies could find useful. As far I’m concerned, that means me and you. The rest of this lot can die in an unfortunate, freak avalanche. I’d be quick, if I were you. I’ve already planted explosives and set them for detonation. You’ve got half an hour.” He was mad. She stared at Onran with open shock. He had to be absolutely, flaming mad. All these people! _His_ people! And he was going to murder them without a second thought. He was like a child, throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get what he wanted. _Nothing exists in absolutes_. The Roekaar let not one, but two deranged leaders guide them. Accepted their words and leadership as the utter truth. But…it was all a lie. All of it. All of that hatred, and anger, and hurt had only caused more. Without speaking, Yolsi spun on her toes and ran from the room – pushing people out of her way as she went.

“Get out of here!” She shouted, “Get out! Onran is going to kill all of us. We have to leave!” But all she received for her efforts were either offended glares or sniggers from behind ‘alien lover’ insults. Well, if they wouldn’t listen, Robin would. None of them responded to her warnings or pleadings, and as much as she wanted to beg them all to get out – to force them if she had to! – Robin needed her more.

She reached the room where they were keeping Robin, but the two guards wouldn’t let her pass.

“Sorry, but it’s not meal time. No one goes in otherwise.”

“Oh, for my ancestor’s sake, just move before I hurt you.” It had taken five minutes to get here. Another five of arguing. Only twenty minutes left until Onran buried everyone alive. She didn’t want to incapacitate anyone. It’d be too cruel leaving them unable to run when the snow started coming down – not that running would do them any good anyway.

“Yolsi. You know we can’t break protocol. There are already questions being asked about you and your long visits here.”

“Ugh!” She threw up her hands, then sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Onran has tasked me with executing the alien. Evfra hasn’t paid up, so I’m to take her out and shoot her in the back of the head. Got it?” The guards regarded her, shocked for a moment or two. They shared unsure looks between each other. One lifted his arm to check his communications device and begin tapping out a message.

“There’s nothing here that says Onran has cleared that, and he’s not responding to clarification requests. You’ll have to wait, Yolsi.”

“Ok, I’ve wasted enough time with this. Listen to me,” She jabbed one guard in the stomach with her elbow, snatching up his gun when he dropped it out of surprise, “you both need to get out of here as fast as you can. Onran isn’t responding because he’s left. He’s going to bury Paxyl and everyone in it. Get in his office and check for yourself. He’s gone. Probably taken the fastest shuttle and left us all behind. I really don’t want to knock your heads together, but I will if I have to.”

“Stand down!” The other guard lifted his weapon, but Yolsi wasn’t concerned.

“You and I both know you’re on guard duty because you’re not fit for field duty, and Robin couldn’t fight you off even if she did manage to get out. If the prisoner were a real threat, _I_ would be on guard duty.”

“You’ve given it a name now?” He spat disgustedly.

“Is that what the Roekaar sound like to everyone else? Stars…” Yolsi rolled her eyes, mentally counting down. Fifteen minutes down. Fifteen to go. “ _Run_.” She fired an energy bolt at each of their feet, forcing them to jump backwards. She kept doing so, pushing them further and further back until they ran off – likely going in search of backup. Well, she fully intended to be gone by then. Yolsi whirled back to Robin’s holding cell, punching in the keycode and leaving the door open. 

Robin was lying on her cot, staring up at the ceiling. She lurched to her feet when she took in the sight of Yolsi.

“What-?”

“No time to explain. I need you to act scared, come on.”

“Trust me, there’s not acting involved.” Robin didn’t struggle as Yolsi took her by the upper arm and pulled her roughly out.

“Sorry, little kaerkyn. Just making it look believable. I’m taking you out the back way, so there should be fewer people anyway. But you’ll need to run like an Eiroch is charging after your soft human behind, got it?” If she had expected Robin to become a quivery mess or demand answers, she would have been surprised. Robin simply nodded, her expression becoming determined.

“Got it. Not my first time running from hostile people with guns.”

“What? Really? Remind me to ask you more about that later. For now, let’s go!” Robin’s legs were shorter than hers, but she managed to keep up a good pace. Yolsi did wonder how long this would last. She was fit from years of training, ancestors only knew how much stamina Robin had. Well, she’d drag her out, if she had to. With the speed they were moving at, those few Roekaar who were gathered around the back passages had little time to question. But they took notice of the aggressive grip Yolsi had on Robin and assumed Paxyl was under attack, for they drew their weapons and charged to the front of the hideout. It broke her heart to leave so many of them behind – they had been her friends and family for a long time, but there was nothing she could do if they wouldn’t listen. Hopefully, if they were manning the front entrance, enough of them were close enough to run when the explosives started going off. As for her and Robin, she only hoped there was a shuttle or two left behind. If not, it was a long trek through the snow. Thankfully the storm had blown over.

They skittered around a corner, slamming into a Roekaar agent on the way back from his rounds, Yolsi presumed. The exit was just a few metres down.

“No time.” She panted, hauling Robin to her feet, “Get out, Onran has set this place to blow and I’d say we have about five minutes left.” She started running again, only feel herself yanked back by Robin, who wasn’t moving. Yolsi yanked her again, but still Robin just stared at the Angaran they’d charged into.

“Evfra?” Robin’s voice sounded incredulous. Yolsi couldn’t blame her, but there was no time to process what seemed to be an unbelievable coincidence.

“Are you hurt?” He asked, and there was something in his voice that made Yolsi take a step back. She could have laughed. Guess Robin was right. Evfra wouldn’t trade for her, no. No he’d turn up himself to cause havoc. Should have guessed, really. The way he was looking at her told her anything she might have been questioning about their relationship. But the look was gone as fast as it came, and he turned his legendary glare on Yolsi. “Who the bloody hell are you?”

“The one saving your great blue arse. Come _on_! Explosives! Structurally weak holdout! Less than ten minutes to spare. Probably only five now, _we have to leave_!” This time, when she pulled on Robin’s hand, she came willingly. Evfra ran beside them, clearly suspicious of her, but understanding the urgency of the situation.

The exit loomed above them – a great gaping entrance to the narrow ravine that had lead them here what seemed like months ago. They weren’t alone at the exit either. Just in front of them, Onran was hurriedly climbing into the only shuttle left. Yolsi felt her anger make her limbs go numb. She wanted to tear that monster’s eyes right out of his head. How _dare_ he murder all these people who trusted him? Evfra clearly had similar feelings, for he lurched forwards with his shotgun drawn.

“No!” Yolsi pulled him back by the arm, flinching away just time to avoid being punched, “You need to take Robin and go. I’ll handle that veshaanan.”

“You’re Roekaar. I don’t trust you to do anything.”

“Oh, but you’d trust me to run away with Robin? If I’m Roekaar, wouldn’t I just have killed her? Or left her behind? Or maybe I’m taking her to another one of our outposts, since she clearly is a lot more important to you than she thinks.” Evfra snarled at Yolsi in reply to this, but turned to Robin, who was looking behind them fearfully.

“I think I can hear something…” Her voice was low, and a moment after she spoke Yolsi heard it too. Rumbling. One of Onran’s explosives had clearly gone off. After another moment, they heard the unmistakable ‘boom’ of another one detonating.

“Avalanche!” Yolsi shouted, pulling Robin in close. “You take care of yourself, little kaerkyn. Otherwise I’ll be back, calling you names. Got it?” She didn’t wait for Robin to respond. Instead, she kissed her. Quick and hard, and _searing._ Lifting her stolen gun, Yolsi fired an energy bolt at Onran’s shuttle. One of the engines sputtered and went out.

 He was going to pay for what he’d done, and she’d die to make sure of it. And then she’d go back and dig out whoever she could.

 

\---

 

“Yolsi!” Robin cried out, and Evfra had to scoop her around the waist in order to stop her from running after her.

“There’s no time!” She didn’t struggle, instead she turned her eyes up to his face, tears forming. “I’m sorry, Robin. But your friend was right. We have to go, _now_.” He doubted either one of them could outrun the snow, but they had to at least try. So, just as the Roekaar agent had before him, he took Robin by the hand and pulled her along.

Words could not describe how he felt after bumping heads with her. Relief. Joy. Anger. Frustration. Guilt. He simultaneously wanted to crush her to his chest, and to never see her again, and he honestly did not know which reaction was stronger. Then the Roekaar woman had kissed her, and he felt…something he didn’t understand.

There was a place a little further along the ravine that had enough footholds to climb up it. It’d be risky without rope or jump-jets, and with Robin being a civilian. But it was their only option. If they kept running through the ravine, it’d fill with snow, and they’d be killed. Determined, Evfra pulled Robin along with him into the ravine. Behind them, snow spilled from the mouth of Paxyl’s back entrance. The ground rumbled as what was left of the ruined city crumbled and collapsed in on itself. Evfra cursed. The snow as moving faster than they were, and they wouldn’t reach the place they needed to. He slowed, pulling Robin to run beside him.

“I need you to cover your nose and mouth, Robin. Then close your eyes.” She did as he first instructed, but did not close her eyes. Instead, she looked up at him, and he could feel her wordless trust like a stab in the gut. She thought he was going to get them out of this. And truthfully, if he were on his own he’d make it. But…there was no way he could leave her behind. Not like that. Suffocation was a long, cruel death. He wouldn’t…he wouldn’t make her face it alone. Resigned, he folded her close, turning his back to the oncoming snow, and resting his cheek against the softness of her hair.

It was strange how moments like this seemed to move so slowly. But he was grateful. He could finally allow himself to hold her and enjoy it. And for a second or two, he knew that it was right. That they belonged this way. She felt so warm compared to the frigid air, he could imagine her melting right through the snow and ice. Burning like a star.

Breath held for impact, Evfra had to release it when the cold wall of snow did not hit. Another breath later and still they stood – untouched. His skin prickled strangely, as though feather light touches of…of _something_ he could not place, were dancing over him. He opened his eyes to blue wisps, folding and pulsing across Robin’s entire body, She was frowning with concentration and breathing hard, as though working through a pain. Evfra slowly released her and turn to look behind him. Snow filled the ravine at his back, pressed up against a wall of pulsating blue light. Biotics. She’d said once she could make shields, he had never thought she had meant one so large. And strong. That much snow would weigh tonnes.

“Robin…” He didn’t know what to say. Breath-taking. She was breath-taking, standing with her face towards that impending, frozen wall and nothing but her willpower keeping it at bay. Her dark curls danced around her face as though she was underwater. Slowly, she turned and began walking, shield moving gradually with her.

“I don’t know how long I can hold this.” She spoke at last, breathing hard, “It’s been a long time since I’ve had to do one so big. Let’s go.”

Evfra said nothing, only followed after her. Silently awed.


	10. Hearts and Heartbreaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Two chapters in the space of one week? It must be Christmas! Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it, and Happy Holidays to those who don't. I really wanted to give you guys something veeery juicy to read (and be taunted with) over the holiday period. This is the last chapter I will be uploading before the New Year.
> 
> I loved all of your comments on the last chapter, Every single one of them made me giggle-squeal with delight. I was sitting on the couch, kicking my feet in glee every time I got one! You guys are the BEST readers, and I hope you enjoy this chapter because I wrote it for you guys :). I got my first 'i think i hate you' comment on the last chapter, and it was a very proud moment for me. Be prepared to hate me even more (picture me cackling). I'm a little uncertain of this chapter, as I'm not sure if it's up to standard (but I feel that way about everything I write).
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, I'm literally always happy to hear what you guys liked, or your opinions on the events :D
> 
> This chapter is spoiler free.

Sweat was trickling down her forehead as they walked. The weeks of living off Angaran nutrient paste, and the state of near constant stress she had been in, had made Robin already weaker than she normally was. To then attempt to use so much biotic power was near impossible. But she did it. Because she knew she would be able to. And she held on to that shield even when it felt like her legs were becoming lead, and her arms were burning. 

“It’s not much further.” Evfra was looking up, through his rifle scope. “Will you be able to hold the shield and climb?”

“Yes.” She didn’t have the ability to concentrate on both holding up the shield _and_ conversation. Evfra must have noticed that being monosyllabic was out of character for her, for he lowered his rifle and turned to look at her. His stare tried its hardest to pierce to holes into her head, but eventually he had to turn away when he couldn’t find any answers to his unspoken questions. She didn’t know how biotic shields felt for other people, she’d never been able to use her biotics like they were meant to be used. When she said she could make shields, she’d been…understating it. Maybe she couldn’t throw people around, or punch through walls, but she could hold a shield for hours. For days, once, when she’d been forced. But it was different when there was something pressed against the shield walls. She felt that weight like she was holding it up with her own two arms. Well, she didn’t spend years bent over unintelligible manuscripts, or piecing together tiny fragments of ancient pottery, to come away with only a little determination. That, and natural stubbornness kept her from giving in to the ache all over her body. She was worried about her implant, though. It wasn’t an L2, or even an L5, but it was unstable. In fact, Robin didn’t know what it would be classed as – they’d never given hers a number. Just stuck it in her head and made her perform like a circus monkey. Anger bubbled up, pushing through the exhaustion and pain. That was good. Anger she could work with. Where determination and natural stubbornness failed, spite always filled in.

She was glad, actually. Having the shield to focus on stopped her from thinking about other things. Like Yolsi, and that parting kiss. Or Evfra, and what being here himself meant. Those were both things that she felt too much about. And she wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad, or even angry. She was probably a great, messy mix of the three, which meant after they got back to safety, she was going to have a hell of a lot of feelings to suppress. Evfra gave her one last measuring look from over his shoulder, and Robin was struck again by how strange it felt to be with him again. What was the last thing he’d said to her? Something about how she never stopped being a pain. And here he was, hauling her butt out of trouble once again. She could have winced if she’d had the time for it.

They walked on in a suffocating silence, the snow around them absorbing even the sound of their footsteps. It felt like hours had passed, but that may just have been Robin’s exhaustion talking. Already Paxyl and the small room she was kept in seemed so far away.

“Here.” Evfra stopped them. Lifting an arm, he pointed to the wall to the right of the ravine, “There ledges and ridges we can use as leverage to climb out. We’ll have to take it slow. We don’t have any climbing gear. You should start by-.”

“I know how to climb.” Robin couldn’t help sounding terse. He still thought she was useless, even though they were only alive because of her, “I spent most of my adult life on excavation sites.”

“Of course. I-.”

“You should go first.” She interrupted him again, “If I fall, then you’ll be less likely to get trapped in the snow.” Robin didn’t wait for him to answer. Instead, she moved to the ravine wall and pressed her forehead against the snow-covered stone, hoping that the coldness of it would take away the pain and heat in her head.

“Robin…you don’t look well.” Evfra hesitated.

“Please, just start climbing. My implant acts up sometimes. They never figured out how to stabilise it, and I can feel it heating up.” Robin couldn’t see him with her head pressed against the ice, but she heard him start to speak, and then change his mind. Soon, he was clambering up the wall like a spider. He was…really agile, damn. Now she felt a bit stupid telling him she could climb with as much confidence as she had. She was going to look like a stumbling nit-wit…again. In fact, he’d probably be expecting nothing less.

Taking a deep breath, Robin pushed aside other distracting thoughts. Focusing on what needed doing in the moment. Hand, then foot, then hand, then foot. Over and over. It was a rhythm that was easy to slip into when her mind could be used to focus on working past muscle aches. Robin hauled herself up the ravine wall, battling wildly with mental and physical tiredness. Each foothold seemed impossible, but she managed to drag her body upwards – sometimes with pained grunts. Evfra was already far ahead of her, and she wondered if maybe he’d leave her behind once he got to the top. No. She pushed the thought down. Why would he come all the way to fetch her, alone in a Roekaar facility, only to dump her in the snow? For someone who told herself to focus on the biotic shield and _not_ on Evfra, she was doing a lot of focusing on Evfra. Her foot slipped on the ice, and with a heart-wrenching gasp she lurched for the next handhold. For a moment or two, Robin simply breathed in and out. At least now she knew for certain she was not a thrill seeker. The moment of panic restored her senses, though, and allowed her to focus solely on taking one step after the other. The pressure on her barrier began to feel lighter as the ravine – where they had stood only minutes ago – was flooded with snow.

Robin reached for the final ledge, preparing to haul herself over the edge and on to a flat surface once again, when she found Evfra’s strong hands grip her forearms and pull her easily upwards. With relief, Robin let the biotic shield flicker and die. For a moment, the two of them simply sat at the top of the ravine, breathing hard. It felt strangely good to use her biotics again. She’d once heard someone describe it like releasing a giant sneeze, and she couldn’t quite see why that was, but maybe it was because shields were all she could make. _Not_ using it for so long was definitely like trying supress a sneeze, and it never really curbed the urge for long. The only reason she’d started being secretive about her biotics was to stop herself from drawing attention of the wrong people – back in the Milky Way. But…well, that wasn’t a problem anymore. Even if the wrong people had followed her all the way here, they were outnumbered. Finally.

“Are you hurt?” Evfra asked at last, getting to his feet and shrugging off the huge coat he was wearing.

“No.” Robin stretched her neck, “No, I’m just tired. With a bit of a headache. I’ll be stiff as hell tomorrow, though.” He settled the already warm coat around her shoulders, and Robin was shocked into silence. It smelled like him, too. Clean, like soap and aftershave. Well, probably not aftershave, considering Angarans didn’t have any hair to shave off in the first place.

“Good. I brought a shuttle, but it’s on the other side of the ravine. We’ll have to go around, so make sure to keep that coat done up. It gets cold out here, and we’ve got little to no shelter this far out. Finding the ruins of Daar Paxyl was pure luck for Onran.” If she didn’t know better, Robin would think his expression was pained when he addressed her again. “Speaking of, he didn’t-…Did he hurt you?”

“No. Evfra, seriously. I’m fine. I never want to see nutrient paste again, but I’m fine. Onran didn’t even talk to me again after the initial questioning.”

“What did he want to know?”

“About you, mostly. And something about a weapon. I guess he figured out I really don’t know anything about either of those things.” Was that a reprimand in her tone? She herself didn’t know. She had no right to rebuke him, _that_ she knew. If he didn’t want to get close to her, that was his prerogative, and he had every right to it. But that didn’t mean it had to hurt any less. Although…now that she no longer had the biotic shield and that deadly heap of snow to worry about, she was free to worry about everything else that had happened to her. And she was left to wonder, why did Evfra come himself? He could have sent someone after her, or even agreed to the trade. But he chose to come himself. That had to mean something, right? _She_ had to mean something. Even though she didn’t want to get herself all worked up over what might turn out to be nothing, Robin couldn’t help the small smile that briefly pulled at the corners of her mouth. She snuggled down into the coat, burying her nose in the smell. She’d associate that smell with safety for the rest of her life, she thought.

“Hey, Evfra?” She drew his attention, waiting for him to look at her, “Thank you. For coming to save me.” His expression wasn’t easy to read, but she figured he must be embarrassed. Evfra’s mouth opened, but he closed it again – saying nothing. Only looking down at the ground, away from her. Odd. She didn’t think he was the kind of person who ever got embarrassed about anything.

“We should keep moving.” His voice sounded harsh, but that wasn’t unusual. She’d probably crossed a line by getting all heartfelt, or whatever. Honestly, he was the most mercurial person she’d ever met.

“Yeah.” Robin agreed, rolling onto her knees. “There’s just something I want to do first.” For a minute she sat before snow-filled ravine, just thinking. There wasn’t any dirt to toss – not that she’d ever understood why that was important – but snow would work. She gathered a fist full of snow, ignoring the pain from the cold, and tossed it out into the ravine. It landed silently.

“Thanks, Yolsi.” Robin murmured quietly. “And fuck you, a little bit too. Didn’t you say that _you_ were going to get me out safely?” Words were clenched into silence, dying in the tightening of her throat. A tear squeezed out of one eye, dribbling onto her nose before she could catch it. She wiped it away, sniffing and rising to her feet. Evfra, respectfully, looked away.

 

\---

 

When Evfra had said ‘it gets cold out here’, he really was making the most colossal understatement. She was shivering so badly, she thought her teeth would rattle free from her mouth. But the coat was keeping the needle sharp wind from getting through to her, and she was still wearing some of the spare clothing from she’d been stuffed into when she first landed on Voeld. The cold didn’t seem to bother Evfra nearly as badly as it did her, as he was prancing about the snow as though he hardly felt it. All he needed was a pair of pointy ears and a bow and arrow to complete the ensemble, Robin snickered silently to herself. It must be frustrating for him to want to move at a certain pace, only to realise he’d left her behind – half buried in snow.

They’d walked for hours, Robin only knew because Evfra was keeping track of the time somehow, and she was able to ask him how long they’d been out here. God, there weren’t even trees on Voeld, or any plants that they could strip and use to make a fire. As much as she wanted to avoid making more work for him, Robin pretty much had ‘useless’ in flashing lights hovering about her head, and the unfortunate truth was that she needed to get to something warm soon. She was just about to sacrifice what little scraps were left of her pride and tell Evfra that, when he grabbed her by the arm and yanked her down. She fell into an ungainly crouch beside him.

“Wh-?”

“Kett camp.” Evfra’s voice was low, but Robin could hear how angry he was. Hell. She was glad he was on their side. “Just ahead.” Try as she might to see what camp he was talking about, all she could see was snow. Just piles and piles of snow. She didn’t know if it was better or worse that she couldn’t see it. On the one hand, she’d never seen a Kett in real life before, and she would like to keep it that way. But on the other hand, if Evfra said they were there, then they were definitely there, which meant it would be better to able to see them coming. As if sensing her confusion, Evfra held out his sniper rifle to her. Robin took the weapon, surprised by how heavy it was. And he carried this thing like it was as light as a toothpick? Holy shit.

“Like this.” His arms surrounded her on either side, adjusting the way she was holding the weapon. “Look through the scope, you’ll be able to see it.” For a moment, all Robin could actually think about was a pair of strong arms, and warm hands covering her own. Her heart leapt around like crazy, swooping down to her stomach and then back again. _Just pick a spot and stay there!_ She silently muttered to herself, feeling both frustrated and fluttery. His closeness stopped her shivering too. No wonder Angarans didn’t feel the cold, Evfra was like a living heater at her back. But then she spotted movement through the scope. Looking through it took some getting used to, every time she’d move the gun to pursue what she saw, her line of sight would swing way past what she was trying to look at. But after a few moments of inexpertly chasing the movement, she found what had made it. Kett. She wasn’t sure if she’d actually seen a Kett before, now that she was looking at one. It didn’t look like any of the depictions she’d seen on the Nexus. Probably for the best, Tann couldn’t really afford to scare people more than they already were.

“They’re so…knobbly.” Robin said at last, not able to find any other way to describe them. She heard Evfra snort, feeling his small chuckle rumble against her back.

“Yes. They are.” She thought maybe he was smiling, from the way his words sounded, but she was too preoccupied watching the aliens moving through their camp to check. And she didn’t want to be disappointed. The Kett had their camp set up very strangely. There was a circular structure in the centre, with some form of balcony that allowed the Kett scouts for a better view of their surroundings. Various equipment could be seen, though Robin had no clue what any of it was for. All she could recognise were the fuel tanks. Apparently yellow hazard paint was universal. They had what Robin at first thought were strange containment fields for salvage or loot, but when she looked closer a sick feelings settled in her stomach. Prisoners. Angarans.

“Evfra, look.” He brought his head down to rest next hers, and peered through the scope. Robin felt him stiffen, and a moment later he quietly took a step back – exposing her suddenly to the cold again. “We have to help them.” She wasn’t going to leave them in those cages. What kind of person would she be if she did?

“We can’t.” Evfra sounded cold. Distant, like he had been that last day on Aya. “We’ll go around.”

“No.” Robin crossed her arms.

“Yes.” Evfra crossed his.

They regarded each other in stubborn silence for a good minute. Robin didn’t judge him for making that call. He was used to having to make tough decisions, it was part of his job description. And he clearly knew that, tactically, leaving the prisoners behind was safest for them both. But Robin had never had to leave someone behind, and after losing Yolsi she wasn’t going to lose more. Even if these people were strangers to her, they were important to someone else out there.

“You’re a civilian. You have zero weapons training. And even if you did, it wouldn’t do you any good, because you don’t have a weapon.” Evfra broke their standoff first, arms remaining crossed, and glare still fixed in place.

“Yeah, but you do.”

“Yes, and the Kett outnumber me ten to one. I cannot just go storming off. I’ve got you to worry about.”

“Stop worrying, then. I can take care of myself.” Robin flushed angrily when Evfra laughed at this. Maybe she couldn’t fight, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have plenty of experience getting out of fights, and getting away from pursuers.

“Your first day on Aya, you were pranked, _by children_. You spent the subsequent months being harassed before Avela had the sense to get me involved. Then, you got yourself kidnapped. Robin, if you’ve proven anything, it’s that you _can’t_ take care of yourself.” Evfra turned and began covering their tracks, leaving Robin to fume silently.

“I only got kidnapped because _your_ terminal was hacked.” She sputtered. Outrage made it hard for her to decide what to say first, and for a moment her words came out all in a jumble. Until she took a breath to gather her thoughts. “You don’t know _anything_ about me or what I’ve been through. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was kid, and I got all the way to another fucking galaxy. Maybe I can’t use a weapon, but I’m far from helpless. Get your head out of your arse, Evfra. Or, actually, no. Leave it there. You go on ahead. I’ve lived through worse than being shot at. I’m not leaving those people behind, and that’s final.” She’d never snapped at anyone like that before, and for a moment she was surprised at herself. Obviously, her emotional limit had been pulled as tight as it could go for one day and it was only a matter before her control shattered. Embarrassingly, she could feel her eyes beginning to sting. Ugh, there was nothing worse than being an angry crier. Scrubbing furiously at her watery eyes, Robin didn’t wait for Evfra to respond. She’d show him she wasn’t useless – not all the time, anyway. She simply turned around and began walking towards the Kett camp. Blue biotic tendrils dancing on her skin.

 

\---

 

He would have been perfectly happy to liberate those prisoners if he were on his own. In fact, if he’d spotted the prisoners before he’d shown Robin how to look through the scope, he would still have been ready to make a plan to free them. But he couldn’t forget how small she had felt against him, even as it seared him like a brand. He couldn’t risk her life, no matter how he tried to reason that he should; no matter how much his analytical brain told him it was both the right and the logical thing to do, he could not gamble with Robin’s safety when everything made her mortality seem so stark. Yes, she had saved their lives, and he was both grateful and awed. But it had hurt her, clearly more than she would let on. So he turned to her and said some things that he only realised he didn’t mean after he said them.

She was right, really. Robin had only been kidnapped because his terminal was hacked. She was harassed because he’d over reacted when it came to punishment for the two pranking teenagers. And for some star-forsaken reason, he just couldn’t stop himself from saying hurtful things. It shouldn’t bother him, it was none of his business if she wasn’t equipped to hear harsh turths. But it _did_. 

And then she got mad at him. Actually mad, and he was surprised and ashamed. Stars, she was right. Why was she always right? It was bloody annoying. He didn’t know anything about her life. His heart clenched with sorrow for her when he saw the raw expression on her face. Ancestors only knew what she had been through, but she’d come out of a hostage situation with a level head – he should have known it couldn’t have been the worst thing to happen to her. That made him angry. At anyone who hurt her. At himself. But he shouldn’t – _couldn’t_ – be feeling anything for her. His resolve lasted for all of ten seconds before he hastily went after her. Maybe he shouldn’t bother himself with her, since she clearly was determined to get herself killed, but he just couldn’t stop himself.

“Robin.” He called her name quietly, aware that they were still too far for the Kett to hear, but growing loser to danger every second. “I cannot let you do this.” And she bloody knew it, too.

“You’re not ‘letting’ me do anything. I am my own person, and I make my own choices. I am _choosing_ to go. By myself. You go to your shuttle. I wouldn’t want you to feel like you’re ‘taking care of me’.”

“Don’t act like a child.” Why couldn’t she understand? It was too dangerous to just storm in there. If she would just take a moment to think straight-! Robin whirled on him, anger and hurt still so very clear. Had he really once thought human expressions hard to read? Or maybe it was just hers.

“Don’t treat me like one.”  

“Robin, please.” He relented. They were close enough to see the camp now, which meant the Kett could see them too, if they were looking. “Now is not the right time. We can send people for them when you’re safe.” That was all that mattered, in the end. Just getting her safe. She was showing an alarming lack of care for her own life, which meant he had to care twice as much – something he didn’t think was possible. Or maybe it was just an excuse to care as much as he already did.

“I’m going to do the right thing, Evfra. With or without your help. I get it, I do.” She sighed, and looked away before adding, “I don’t expect you to risk your life. You’re more important than that – you’ve got entire planets looking to you protect them. But I don’t. I’ve just got me to look out for. So when I can do something, I do it. Because I can. Because it doesn’t matter if I don’t make it.” Her words sounded so…wrong. Evfra could hear cold logic in them – something he’d been wanting from the both of them since the start, but hearing her say it made him recoil. He wanted to say something to prove her wrong, and he struggled with the right words for a moment. But then shame made him silent. He would have sacrificed her for whatever was in Jaar Nix if Ryder hadn’t intervened. And he knew with certainty if he had, he would never have forgiven himself. She’d even thanked him for coming for her, and the thought of that made him queasy with guilt. It was ridiculous how twisted in knots she made him feel. Logic and heart were pulling him in every direction all at once, and as much as he wanted to show her that she was wrong, he also wanted to get as far away from her as possible. He needed to return to the comfort of pattern; of being able to make calculated decisions and not feel that very emotional distress he was feeling right now. It had taken years, and sorrow beyond belief, to learn how to cut off his feelings when they got in the way. A few weeks with her and all of that was just about gone. At least all this turmoil made it easy for him to decide that, when he deposited Robin firmly into Ryder’s hands, he would never see her again. She was eroding all the walls he’d put up, and he couldn’t afford it. Because now he was going to do something stupid.

“Fine.” Evfra sighed, removing his sniper rifle. “You need to hide yourself behind something. I can kill a number of them before the real fighting begins, but I need to know that none of their snipers will see you.” Without moving an inch, he felt tingling on his skin that he was growing familiar with. Robin’s biotic shield bloomed back into life, smaller but no less impressive than before. But it was also a bright, blue beacon for the Kett lookouts. Evfra groaned.

“I don’t need to hide.” Robin turned her anger towards the Kett, who surely notice them at any moment. “There’s nothing that can get through this unless I let it. I’ve tested it.” Evfra didn’t want to think about exactly _how_ she had tested it, otherwise he’d probably have a panic attack. He didn’t have time to argue with her, so he simply readied his sniper rifle, refilled the clip, and took aim. The first Kett died in a bloody, green explosion – impact from the bullet spraying its companion with flesh and blood. The next two were killed just after they managed to fire a few rounds towards them. The bullets bounced harmlessly off Robin’s shield, and all the while she stood there, not even flinching.

“Stay as far back as you can.” Evfra instructed, hoping that she would listen this time. “I’m going to go in closer. They’ve spotted me now, and the rifle is too slow to reload. I don’t want to risk them killing any of the prisoners in the meantime.” Because if they did, he would be _seriously_ annoyed.

At first he thought Robin was heeding him, because she lingered back, and he allowed himself to focus solely on taking out the remaining enemies. He fired another round from his shotgun, the energy bolt hitting a fuel tank and sending the nearby Kett flying to the air in pieces when it exploded. That was five dead. Five more to go, with their survival rate only increasing. As long as they had not called for reinforcements. Though, hopefully Ryder and her brother were in the process of breaking into the Kett operations facility, and any reinforcements would be sent their way instead.

They were close enough to see the prisoners inside the strange, orange containment fields they were kept in – miniaturised versions of the shield that had kept Resistance forces from retaking Jaar Nix for so long. Evfra made a run for it, diving for cover behind one of the Kett vehicles. By bringing himself in so close, he hoped to force Robin to keep her distance, and to quickly put an end to the remaining aliens. One went down with a wet gurgle after Evfra’s shot hit them in the throat, leaving only four for him to worry about. It was hard to spot where they were without any of their shots being able to land a hit, and that drew him up short. With an annoyed huff, he turned around to find Robin. She was supposed to be keeping back! At first he could not see her, and in his panic he called out her name. But then he spotted her making a run for the prisoners. After some fiddling with the console on their cages, she had one lot freed. The Angarans could be heard breathlessly thanking her before looting the dead Kett for their weapons. With their numbers now being evened out, it was only a matter of minutes before all but one of the Kett were dead.

“Ah!” The pained cry sounded so loud in the stillness between gunfire, and the source of the outcry made Evfra lurch. It was Robin. Was she shot? Did the Kett have her? Around them, the biotic shield flickered, once, twice, then died. He found her leaning against the last cage, with her head in her hands. When she saw him regarding her with concern, she waved him off, “It’s just my implant. I can’t bring the shield up again for a bit. Please be careful.” She utterly baffled him. The only unarmed and unprotected person among them was asking _him_ to be careful. Doing as she asked was the least he could do, and the soft way she’d looked at him as she’d ask made it all the easier not to be reckless.

He and the newly freed Angarans, skirted around the Kett camp, senses on high alert. There was a young man to his right, clearly nervous and inexperienced but willing to do what it took. His nerves got the better of him, and he started firing wildly. Thankfully, one of his shots hit the Kett they were looking for, sending it crumpling to the ground.

“Messy.” Evfra said, laying a hand on the young Angaran’s shoulder, “But good work. Next time, don’t let your fear carry you away. Deep breaths. Quiet your mind. Then you get it done.” They looked up at him for moment, those gathered, before recognition settled on their faces.

“Skutt, you’re Evfra!” As soon as the name left his mouth, Evfra was surrounded by relieved and grateful Angarans, all clamouring to give him their personal thanks. He bore it as magnanimously as he could, but he was more concerned with finding Robin and seeing if she was alright. He spotted her where he’d left her, for once. She was still struggling freeing the last group of prisoners – either her head or her omni-tool must be giving her trouble, as it hadn’t struggled with encryptions on the other cages. A half smile tugged at his lips. She was definitely dedicated, he’d give her that.

Movement caught at the corner of his eyes. Something lying in the snow, not quite dead, struggling to lift its weapon. The last Kett. It was wounded and dying, but not quite there yet.

Time seemed to come to a gradual stop as Evfra watched the dying Kett lift its weapon and take aim. At Robin. No. At the fuel tank by her feet. There wasn’t time! No matter how fast he tried to push himself through to get to her, he felt like he was moving through thick syrup.

This was it. He was going to loser her. Actually lose her. He’d never see her walking through the Tavetaan again, or hear her tell him about Earth and her life before Heleus. She’d never again take his hand and drag him off on small adventures. He’d never hear her laugh again, or feel the softness of her hair against his cheek. He would never know about her dreams and goals. It couldn’t happen. The world was dark enough already, and she was a star. It was too soon. Too soon for her to leave them behind – to leave him behind. He’d thought, all this time he’d stupidly thought, that he was invulnerable. He’d already lost everything, there was no way to hurt him. But he’d been wrong. There was something left. There was Robin, and her determination. Her cleverness and her goodness. And he was terrified. Because she meant too much to him. Because he was going to loser.

A savage cry of denial tore from his mouth, and he launched himself after her.

 

\---

 

Robin tried furiously to unlock the third and final cage, the prisoners inside anxiously pleading with her to be quicker. Her vision was beginning to blur and then split, and then there was a sudden, sharp pain lancing through her skull. She stumbled forwards, gripping her head and taking a few measured breaths. It was hard to measure what would be classed as pushing herself with the biotic implant she had. Some days, she could sue her biotics as much as she wanted, with no negative side effects, and on others, even the smallest shield would give her a headache for days. She knew it would be one of the latter times when her head had begun to hurt in the ravine. But she didn’t really have any other choice. Besides, the fighting seemed to be over now, for the most part. Reluctantly, she let the shield drop – waving Evfra away when he inquired after her.

“Come on!” She accessed her omni-tool again, fingers fumbling with the small holographic buttons, and sighed, frustrated. Again, the access code to the cage doors slipped from her grasp. It was so easy! The omni-tool basically did everything for her, all she had to do was use the right program. But her entire brain felt like it was on fire, and she could barely keep herself standing. She bent over her knees and took a deep breath, releasing slowly. Straightening, she tried again. It felt like she was trying move somebody else’s fingers, but finally she wrangled her omni-tool into behaving. The panel on the cage flashed once, then again, and then the containment field keeping the Angarans inside vanished.

With a painful thud, Robin was swept sideways, landing in a painful heap on the snow some metres away. Her ears were ringing, and for a long time all she could hear was that low, painful whine and her own blood rushing to her head. There was weight on her, crushing the breath from her lungs, and something warm on each of her cheeks. Her vision swam, making her feel slightly nauseous. There was no way of telling how long she had lain there, prone and confused, but eventually she was aware of someone speaking to her.

Evfra. His mouth was moving, but it was hard to making sense of what he was saying. His hands were either side of her face, turning her head from side to side. When he saw her eyes were open and blinking, he got to his feet, and Robin realised that the pressure must have been from him pinning her down. She frowned at him. Now seemed like an inappropriate time to start playing rugby.

“..Right? –obin?” Evfra was talking to her again, easing her into a sitting position. “Are you alright? Do you feel any pain?” Once more his hands were on her, running over her arms. Cupping her face.

“I think I hit my head.” Robin croaked. “What happened?”

“The Kett. One of them was still alive. He shot at a fuel tank by your feet.”

“Oh.” Robin rested her head in her hands, strangely thankful for the snow. She was tempted to just lean forward and press her head into it. All over she felt sore, and bruised. When they finally got out of here, she was going to take the longest bath of her life. She deserved it.

“Wait.” She sat up in sudden alarm. Evfra had clearly saved her. He’d tackled her out of the way just in time. “What about the prisoners? Are they alright? What-?”

“They didn’t make it, Robin. The fuel tank was right in front of them.”

“It was right in front of me, too!”

“Despite what you seem to believe, I am only one person.” Evfra frowned at her, sitting back. He sensed her argument before she even began making it, by holding up a hand and saying, “It was you or one of them. I made my choice.” Ugh, her head was too sore for this. Yes, of course he was only one person. But he’d made it pretty clear what he thought of her. She was a nuisance back on Aya, and she was nuisance now. God, look at all the mess she’d gotten him into. Coming by himself to a Roekaar hideout. Got him caught in avalanche. Forced him to fight a camp of Kett he didn’t want to. And now, he’d nearly killed himself in an explosion for her. Any one of these Angarans would have been more useful to him than she was. Sure, she’d saved them in the ravine, but they were only there because she’d gotten in the way. Why was she always getting in the damn way? She was only going to fuck something else up. Evfra was right after all, she couldn’t take of herself. That was bad enough, but she proving to be a danger to other people as well.

“You should have chosen someone else!” Robin sputtered. “I’m…I’m expendable. I’m worth less than any of those people! They could have had valuable intel or-!”

“ _Don’t say that_.” Evfra’s voice was harsh with anger, “Don’t _ever_ say that.”

“But it’s true!” She threw up her hands, exasperated. She was still angry with him, angry and confused, and just so damn _frustrated_. “There is just no pleasing you, is there? I try to reach out to you, making friends – and I’m a nuisance. I stay out of your way – I’m a nuisance. I try to be useful, to save people who could be important to your Resistance, - but I’m _still_ a nuisance! What do want me to do? What do you want from me?” She waited expectantly for him to either argue or shut her down completely. Instead, he stared her with an intensity she couldn’t understand. With urgency, she felt his hand cup the back of her head, and he pulled her closer. Evfra’s mouth came crashing against hers, his lips firm and desperate. For a heartbeat, Robin was too stunned to react. But instinct took over from where her mind was floundering, and she tilted her head to deepen the kiss. His free hand settled at the small of her back, pressing her flush against his chest, and she could feel his heart racing. It didn’t seem real, as much as she had wanted this, it didn’t seem possible that it was truly happening. Was she dreaming? Perhaps she had hit her head harder than she thought. Evfra broke free from her mouth, brushing across her jaw on his way down to the pulse in her neck. Robin sucked in a breath when his lips found their purchase, her hands clasping his arms. She felt electric, as though sparks were dancing across her skin and thrumming through her body, and her pulse danced wildly when Evfra’s breath fanned over her lips. Behind her closed eyes, the world bloomed into colour. Everything finally fit where it should. He could not settle on one location, darting kisses along her collar bone, or nipping softly at her earlobe. Finally, their lips found one another once more, fusing together with a heat that threatened to scald her. Even as her lungs demanded for breath, she refused to give in. Her teeth grazed along his lower lip, and Evfra growled in response, pinning her against the snow. She didn’t even feel the cold. All that she could focus on was Evfra. He filled all of her senses, and it exhilarated her. Beneath the incessant caresses of his hands and mouth, Robin moaned, her mind and body focused only on him and the places they were fused together.

With a sudden harshness, Evfra broke away, pushing himself from her. He looked at her with confusion for a moment, and then he noticed the crowd that had gathered and were staring at the both of them with open shock. Then his features crumbled to shame.

“I’m sorry.” He gasped. “It was a mistake. I should never have let that happen.” He got to his feet, and walked away. Picking through the Kett camp for useful items.

Robin sat there for some minutes afterwards, torn between wanting to cry and wanting to be angry. At first she thought he was apologising for the timing – people had just died. But gradually she came to understand that that’s not what he meant. What would be really great was if the ground would open upon beneath her and just swallow her entirely. Hell, and she thought he’d crushed her pride before. His words felt far heavier than any avalanche. But then she was angry, and she supposed that was better than feeling sad. Angry gave her the energy to keep going for however long it took to be _away_ from Evfra, and all this goddamn snow!


	11. Chapter 11: Hunting Dogs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I want to start off by thank you all SO much for still supporting this fic. I promise, I am still writing it, I've just got a very heavy study load and I am rubbish at multitasking D: 
> 
> I love all the comments and kudos I am still getting, so I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please feel free to comment, or even hunt me down on tumblr and harass me to keep updating because I love hearing from you all! I'm really excited to read your thoughts on this chapter, or even just to read your key-smashes - i'm not picky.

_I should never have let that happen_. For some reason, those words stood out more to Robin than Evfra claiming it was a mistake. The sentiment niggled in the back of her mind, reminding her that it wasn’t the first time he’d taken control of her autonomy. That made her angry. Or… _angrier_ , at least. The big, blue, butt-hole was too used to being in charge. Well, if he thought she was just going to sit by and let him trample across her independence, then he had another thing coming. A thing in the shape of a foot. A foot that was going to go squarely up his arse. Although, there might not be room, what with his head taking up so much space!

Her hands clenched and unclenched by her side as she worked through the more irrational spike in her anger. Unfortunately, she slowly became aware of the looks being cast her way. The onlookers were no longer gaping openly, but every now and then they’d slide their eyes in her direction and whisper to each other. Robin felt her whole face begin to throb with the heat of embarrassment, contrasting starkly with the coldness of the snow she was sitting on. Desperate for something to distract her, she rolled onto her knees and slowly got up, dusting snow from her hands. It was below freezing out here, and she wasn’t exactly dressed for it. The fight with the Kett, and Evfra’s kiss had done a lot to drive the cold out, but it was rapidly returning. Thankfully, the Kett seemed to be as sensitive to the cold as she was, for they’d set up heating lamps. Hurrying back towards the centre of the camp, Robin made sure to keep her eyes carefully averted. Not her first time seeing corpses, but that didn’t make seeing them any less pleasant, and she wanted to avoid Evfra until she’d thought through what she was going to say to him. As attractive as going up to him and cussing profusely seemed, she was close to certain it would be counter-intuitive. Probably.

Evfra was moving around the camp, checking on the rescued Angarans. Some were injured, but none to a severe degree. Which was mostly due to Robin pushing her luck with her implant. She sighed, squatting down by the heating lamp, and rubbing her arms. It seemed much easier to forget where she came from and what she’d left behind when she pretended she was just like the average human; biotic potential so limited that they didn’t bother with an implant. New galaxy, new life – right? But letting herself forget made it all the worse when she did stop to think about it. Weeks before boarding the Ark and entering cryo, she remembered telling herself that there was no problem that could follow her across the universe. It seemed such a plausible thought, too. As long as she never used her biotics, she was just Robin from nowhere and belonging to no one. But of course, she was wrong. And she should have known. Trouble seemed to enjoy following her around.

So she sat there, miserable and tired and cold. What a picture she must make, dressed in random Angaran clothes that fit poorly, and a large coat that kept her warm but was awkward to move in. All that shit she’d run away from only to realise she wasn’t safe here either. For a moment, Robin allowed herself to whine silently that it wasn’t fair. Self-pity was much easier than getting up and moving on, after all. But self-pity was not getting her off this planet any sooner. Which meant she had to get up and move away from the delicious warmth, meet the curious and pitying glances around her, and go and tell Evfra to get a move on. But even leaving Voeld wouldn’t make her happy – not entirely. She knew that she and Evfra needed to talk, seriously talk, and the longer she put it off, the easier he would find it to push her aside _again_. Even though it obvious by now, that he didn’t really want to. Well, his head _wanted_ to, probably, but his heart was telling him something else.

His back was to her, and hearing her approach, she could have sworn he hunched over, like a shy turtle trying and failing to hide inside himself. Evfra didn’t spare a glance at her as he lifted a Kett gun and began inspecting it.

“We need to talk.” Robin’s voice came out sharper than she had been hoping for, and the result was Evfra’s mouth pulling downwards. With his scar running down his lip, it made the movement much more exaggerated.

“Not now.” He replied, passing the gun to a younger Angaran who looked between the two of them nervously. As if sensing that Robin was about to ignore him, Evfra made a short gesture with his head, and the young man skittered away. He turned to the Robin then, with a familiar impatient expression on his face. Well, too bad for him. He can push her away all he liked, but the truth of the matter was he _did_ feel something for her. Nobody in the universe would fling themselves into enemy territory – and risk getting shot at, buried alive, shot at again, almost exploded – for somebody they didn’t care about, especially not if they had the option of sending someone else to rescue her. She wasn’t going to convince herself that she was the only one with feelings – not anymore. If Evfra didn’t want to act on them, that’s fine. That’s his choice, but she’d had enough of him lying to her. And she’d had enough of him lying to himself. It was time for her to very brave, and push through the self-doubt, because for all that he claimed it was a mistake, she got the feeling that he didn’t really believe it. 

“Yes, now. I don’t have a whole lot to say to you.” It wasn’t a great start, Robin realised. Not only because it wasn’t true. She didn’t have much _nice_ to say to him, not yet anyway. “But there’s one thing I’m going to tell you, Evfra. And I hope to god that you listen, because you can fuck up your relationship with me – or whatever the hell it is we have – but one day you’re going to mess it up with someone you’ll be comfortable enough to admit caring about.”

“I’m listening.” His tone was even, if barely, but it sounded as though he was just barely biting back words. Well screw him, it was her turn to tell him what’s what.

“You may have kissed me,” Robin jabbed him the chest with her finger hard enough to push him backwards a little, “and you’re free to regret that as much as you want. But you didn’t ‘let’ anything happen. I told you once before that I make my own choices, and it’s pretty pathetic that I have to tell you twice. So, sure, you kissed me. But _I kissed you back_. Because I _chose_ to do so. Because I _wanted_ to. Do you get it? I made a choice, and you’re not allowed to take that away from me.” It was harsher than she’d meant to be, but being meek with Evfra hadn’t gotten her anywhere she wanted to be. Hell, being angry with him didn’t seem to do any good either. Probably, it was best to just wash her hands of him. If only she didn’t care so damn much.

He looked down for a moment, processing the information, or maybe just trying to think something to say that would make her go away. She’d save him the trouble. Robin made an exasperated noise in the back of her throat, and shook her head.

“I’m not a soldier.” She started. How many times had this been pointed out to her? Hell, how many times had she said this herself? He seemed to think soldiers were the only people capable of taking care of themselves. “I can’t shoot or fight. But this isn’t the first time I’ve been shot at. Or the first time I’ve been in a fight. Most of the people who came to Andromeda were running away from something, so we’re good at surviving against the odds. And maybe I can’t take care of myself, but that’s my problem, _not yours_. I’m not a fragile baby, Evfra. And I won’t let you trample all over my autonomy just because you can’t stand someone other than you being in control. So…that’s really all I have left to say to you. Let me know when we’re ready to leave. I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to.” Without giving him the opportunity to respond, Robin turned on the balls of her foot and returned to the heating lamp. She didn’t even bother to throw him a glance from over her shoulder. After today, she just wanted to nap.

 

\---

 

Looking at the carnage around him, Evfra found the idea of banging his head against one of the crates pretty tempting. There were many reasons for this. Firstly, the resulting headache would make him forget the unholy mess he’d just gotten himself into. Secondly, it might help get his mind back on track. Thirdly, if he hit it hard enough, he’d be able to forget that damn kiss. Stars, he knew humans were soft, and even Angarans had soft lips but…he hadn’t expected it to feel like that. It was like kissing petals, or dew drops, or some other poetic rubbish he suddenly felt like spouting. And she was warm. A small sunbeam nestled in his arms. Ridiculous. Wonderful. _Impossible_. When was the last time he’d felt this? Had he ever experienced these feelings? The answer made him uncomfortable. If the Moshae had been here, she’d probably have smacked him over the head. And he would let her, too. Probably ask her to do it again a few more times for good measure.

He was unbelievably confused. One half of him was busy berating himself for giving up. She had been so close, and very nearly dead, and he could swear he was going to combust if he didn’t do something. And the words coming out of her mouth were a direct reflection of things _he_ had said – it was his fault she had felt that level of guilt for not dying. But the other half of him, the side he was more used to listening to – though it was gradually growing quieter – was asking why he would ever be so foolish. Looking up to see all those shocked faces, seeing him in a moment of weakness. How was he supposed to remain in control of Aya and the Resistance, if he could barely control himself? And worse, he’d practically painted a target on Robin’s forehead for his enemies now that there was confirmation he wasn’t as indifferent as he had claimed. Or hoped. It was a mess, and for the first time in his life, he had no idea how to get himself out of it. And then, because he’d felt all those eyes on him, boring into his moment of vulnerability, he had gone and said something stupid. Had he always been this inept? Maybe so, and it had just never mattered before.

When Robin first began speaking, Evfra thought she was going to tear him to shreds. From the expression on her face, and the anger she had kept barely bottled before the fight began, he was in for the talking-to of his life. But instead, she said something to him that left him even more confused than ever. She _wanted_ to kiss him back. Watching her walk away without giving him the chance to explain himself, Evfra sat down for a moment. He was feeling…strange. Frustrated. Unsure. Elated? That was definitely in there, for some reason only the ancestors knew. Stars…if none of those people had been there…if, if he’d been alone with her and he had _known_ she’d wanted him to…? Despite his best efforts, he was grinning like love-struck teenager. Or at least, he imagined so. He’d never had the opportunity to be one. It would explain why he was so bloody bad at it. For some inexplicable reason, he had never thought that this mess of emotions he was feeling was possibly reciprocated, not to that extent. He’d known she cared for him, they’d almost been friends before she’d left for Elaaden, but he hadn’t imagined…well, he barely thought it was possible for _himself_ to fall for someone. He’d never thought about someone falling him. It had never been worth thinking about – it had never been something he had wanted to think about. He had been content to leave it up to the rest of the Angaran people, his life was dedicated to far too much violence to spare time for that sort of thing. And still he felt that it must be so, it’s just…now he was beginning to wish it didn’t have to be.

Robin’s revelation changed something for him. Like the lid he was desperately trying to keep on was finally allowed to be lifted. And yet…he still did not want people to know. If only there was some way he could keep this just for himself. Regardless of how good it felt to simply _feel,_ it was still a vulnerability. One he did not wish for other people to know he had. These few here had already seen more than he was comfortable with, but if he could keep his distance with Robin in public, it would likely be passed over as rumour. Stars know there were enough of those about him at any given moment. Perhaps…no one had to know? Maybe they could keep…whatever it was they had growing between them, just between the two of them. Private. Secret. Evfra shook his head ruefully, all this struggling and it seemed the solution was right there. All those months of trying to push her away – when he’d known all along it was impossible – wasted. He could have her, and have his invulnerability.

She’d been right. Hard as that was to admit, Robin was right. He didn’t need to protect her, not as much as he obviously wanted to. Maybe she wasn’t raised to fight in wars, but she’d handled herself better than a rookie. She was…fearless. Evfra felt himself beginning to smile again. Nearly died twice, and she just got up and kept on marching. Did she have any idea of how resilient she was? Though, it’s probably more accurate to describe it as stubbornness – an apparently common trait amongst the human species. If she had been his recruit, he would have been proud. But she wasn’t, and he was even more proud. Seeing her in action, it honestly did become clear that it… _that it wasn’t her first time being shot at?_ It wasn’t her first time surviving the odds? He’d been so carried away by the confession of her feelings, that he hadn’t noticed the rest of what she’d said. When he thought about it, he could recall her alluding to something similar, but the way she spoke about it…it was like she was used to it.

For the first time, Evfra realised that he knew very little about her. When they’d first met, she’d mentioned a sister and parents who were no longer around, and had never spoken about them since. He did not know what had happened to leave her alone in the world, and why she felt like the only way to move on was to take herself to new galaxy, over six hundred years away. What kind of life had she lived? Perhaps historians in the Milky Way did more than studying relics? Perhaps it was more of an adventuring thing, than a studious one.

“Evfra…” He sighed, running a hand down his face, “you are very bad at this.” Well, there was really only way to stop being bad at something. Practice. And it was time for him to stop being an ‘asshole’ as the humans were fond of saying. Robin deserved better than that. But did that really matter, in the end? Because she didn’t want better. He stood, all trace of the smile gone bar a curl to his mouth that he could not rid himself of no matter how he tried. She wanted him.

His questions would have to wait, though. As much as it was burning him to ask her right now, it was not wise. They defeated one lot of Kett, and relatively easily too. He was not sure if they had called for reinforcements, but he knew that it was unusual for them not to. Ryder was likely proving to be the larger distraction than one skirmish, far out in the snow, but the Kett seemed to spawn in endless supply – or they had before Ryder had put an end to the Archon. It was tactically unwise not to move on and find shelter. His shuttle was on the other side of a now impassable ravine, and he did want to call for one – the chance that someone unwanted could be listening was still too high, and they were still too far from reinforcements themselves. The Angarans they had rescued were grateful, and would be focused on finding their families again before they started spreading rumours. His recruits would be shocked to find that he had risked his life to save a woman he had told the world he did not care for. Nobody else needs to know. He could easily guide both Robin and himself around the ravine. And if he couldn’t…well, apparently she was impervious to bullets. How long had she been keeping an ability like that secret? She’d told him once that she couldn’t do amazing things with her biotics. Had she been lying, he wondered. Or did she truly believe that her abilities were nothing spectacular? Probably the latter, knowing Robin.

 

\---

It was hard to tell how much time passed in a place and situation like this. Robin was tempted to say it had been whole hours, but she had also had…a very long day. To put it mildly. Looking around, she hoped to god, or the stars, or the ancestors, or whatever the hell else, that she would never have to see this much snow ever again. She didn’t want to see snowflakes. Or talk about a white Christmas. Or daydream about nights spent curled in front of a fire whilst it snowed outside. In fact, she would rather take the first trip back to Elaaden, and she wouldn’t even complain about it. Much. She wasn’t accustomed to seeing snow – she’d grown up in a place where snowing was reserved for mountaintops, so it seemed unfair that the novelty had worn off so quickly. But every part of her was a little damp. Snow had gotten into her boots. And then of course melted into her socks. It had fallen down the back of her jacket, and then melted into icy water running down her neck. It was worse than sand, at this rate! Or, maybe, she was just in a bad mood. Forgivable, all things considered.

She huddled beside the heating lamp, feeling guilty as she watched people to-ing and fro-ing, hurrying to gather supplies and patch each other up. But realistically, she was more likely to get in the way than she was to help, so it was probably better that she just stay put until someone told her to do something. Initiative had never been a particular talent of hers. After her brief encounter with Evfra, she didn’t have to wait long for someone to come fetch her. It was a young Angaran woman – barely more than a teenager, if Robin’s estimation was correct. She stared at Robin with poorly concealed curiosity.

“Er…” She began, and then gestured behind her with her thumb, “Evfra says we’re leaving now. Wants you up front with…um, him.” She stood there then, in silence.

“Right. On my way.” Robin got to her feet, expecting the young recruit to go scampering away, but no. She continued to stare. “Is there something else?”

“Oh!” A giggle. “No. Sorry, Miss…or…Ma’am…or…” She punctuated her rambling with an awkward cough and spun around, walking away. Robin sighed. Of course. She should have expected she’d be treated like a circus sideshow after this. Maybe she should charge them all an entrance fee. Fifty credits for a look. One hundred for a strand of hair to take home as a souvenir. Perhaps it was because the only aliens they had met were the Kett, and everyone knew how _that_ went, but many of the Angarans were still prone to referring to the people from the Nexus as ‘it’ and not ‘them’. Which is likely why Evfra’s ‘mistake’ was so shocking. If she’d been caught kissing an it, people from back home would react the same. But it did carry with it a particular sting, regardless. That Evfra had been embarrassed by the kiss was obvious to anyone who cared to look, and Robin wondered if maybe that was why. Well, until she got off this frozen, ass-end of nowhere planet, it wasn’t her problem. It was future Robin’s problem. Poor future Robin, she thought as she trudged after the Angaran woman towards the gathering group, she was always dealing with past Robin’s mess.

She found Evfra addressing the rescued Angarans with the same blunt manner he used for everything. Not unfeeling, but certainly matter-of-fact.

“Take what supplies you can. Break into smaller groups, you’ll be too easy to spot otherwise. The alien and I will depart at the same time as the rest of you, and I urge you to attempt to keep track of everyone but us. Be careful of comm use – message sparingly until you are safe. Clear? Good.” With that, in groups of the twos and threes, the Angarans broke away. Some shouldered packs laden with ammo and information while others strapped weaponry to themselves. Each stopped by Evfra to thank him again, and gawk at Robin. Would it be immature of her to poke her tongue out? It was too cold for that anyway. Would it also be immature of her to point out that rescuing them had been her idea? No, they needed to see Evfra as a paragon. She understood that, he was their idol in a way.

Eventually, each group disappeared into the whiteness and all that was left was Robin and Evfra. It felt a little awkward now. She was both angry, and offended. And beneath that, she felt tired and guilty. She could think of only one thing to say, and she knew that it was going to come out angrily. But then again, she also knew that she didn’t care. Tough luck, Evfra.

“So…‘the alien’. That’s…that’s really how you’re going to refer to me now?” She didn’t bother looking at him as she spoke. Instead, she bundling the coat around her face, not caring that muffled her words. 

“…How would you suggest I refer to you?” His tone was difficult to discern. It wasn’t that he sounded upset, but she couldn’t think that he was asking from genuine curiosity – that would be entirely out of character. Robin was going to with his default of ‘mildly angry at Robin in particular’.

“I’ve got this really nifty thing called a name. You could have used that. Or even, literally anything other than ‘the alien’. You make me sound like a disease.”

“I’m…sorry.” That was all Evfra said for a moment, but even so Robin nearly choked. “I didn’t mean to be offensive, but your name needs to be left out of this.”

“Of course it does.”

“Robin.” She felt his hand on her arm, asking for her attention. She wasn’t tempted to snub him, but her self-control wasn’t good enough. She looked up at his face briefly, before finding it too embarrassing and looking back at the snow. “You were already a target. Those people might have been Roekaar – doubtful – but still possible. Had they known who you were, they might have taken it upon themselves to finish what Onran started. People know that a human woman, named Robin, is…is of special interest…to me. It’s best not to make it too obvious who are when we are in such an unsafe, open place.”

Despite the cold, Robin felt her cheeks flush. Special interest? That’s it. She had to do it. She had to. It was his own fault. Bending down, Robin scooped up an icy handful of snow and pelted it Evfra as hard as she could. It landed against his chest almost soundlessly, but the expression on his face as a result could probably melt any snowball before it landed.

“You don’t get to say that to me.” Robin’s voice was very even. “Not when you flip-flop between your feelings like an irritating kid playing with a light switch.” For a moment he looked like he was going to respond, but instead he released the breath he was holding and inclined his head. Fingers frozen from their brief adventure into the snow, Robin jammed her hands into her armpits and kept on walking. It was a good thing Evfra followed suit, because she had no idea where she was going.

 

\---

 

Most of their trek was spent in silence. Which was desirable, because if her anger at him wasn’t enough to drive away desire for conversation, the ripping ache in her skull was. She needed to sleep for a good few days. And she probably needed to have her implant looked at, but there wasn’t much anyone could do about it anyway – it was faulty. Evfra must have noticed her lagging behind, because eventually he suggested they sit for a moment. They couldn’t just sit down, out in the open, so they spent another hour or so keeping an eye out for a convenient rock cropping. There were many of those strange, pointed rocks jutting from Voeld’s surface, but they weren’t substantial enough to take cover behind. But someone could hide relatively well nestled between a cluster of them, which is what she Evfra eventually did. Due to both the lack of the space, and the fact that humans fared particularly poorly in Voeld’s weather, the two of them were jammed close together. Robin’s head hurt too much to enjoy it, and despite her best efforts not to, she found herself slumping forward – head resting on Evfra’s shoulder. He didn’t seem to mind. Or at least, if he did, he kept silent about it. Now that she was resting, she was realising how sleepy she was getting. It was very cold, and Evfra was so comfortable. And a nap would probably do her some good. 

“Evfra?” Her teeth were clattering together when she spoke.

“Yes?”

“You have to keep me awake. I’m falling asleep.”

“Sleeping will probably be good for you. You’ve been through a great deal.”

“No.” Robin pushed away from him, because the warmth was too alluring. “I can’t. Humans, when we get very, very cold, we fall asleep. And then we die. Our body can’t function in this cold for long, so it shuts down. Usually frostbite happens first, so maybe it’s not that bad yet. But I don’t want to risk it.” She felt Evfra shift beside her, and with the sudden appearance of more space, she slid closer to him.

“I see. What’s frostbite?”

“It’s…um, where parts of the deep tissue are frozen – usually the extremities that have less circulation anyway. Fingers and toes. Noses sometimes, if it’s very bad.” She wasn’t certain, but she thought she could hear his heart beating. It was strangely comforting.

“What happens when your deep tissue is frozen?” She was sure Evfra knew the answer to this – it was the same across all species – but he was clearly asking her questions to keep her mind working.

“It dies, if it’s bad enough. The skin goes black, and has to be removed. I think. I’ve only read about it.” There was silence for moment following this exchange. Robin was trying to think of things to talk about, but she struggled to settle on something, her thoughts were moving too slowly.

“May I ask you something personal?” Evfra asked at last, revealing why he had been quiet.

“Might as well.” Robin mumbled in response.

“When you said…it hadn’t been the first time you were shot at…what did you mean? When else have you been in such danger?” It was strange, but she liked Evfra like this. Calm, and a little unsure, but still solid.

“I don’t like that story much.” Robin sniffed, “But I’ll tell it, because then I’ll be too upset to sleep anyway.”

“You don’t have t-.”

“It’s alright, Evfra. I don’t really mind.” It was difficult to decide where to begin, and how far back to go. “Back home, back on Earth…humans have a Roekaar of their own. Only…much bigger, more dangerous, and far more insidious. They’re called Cerberus. For the most part, they don’t hate aliens openly, like the Roekaar. But they strive for the best for humans, that’s what they claim their goal is. They’ve got different factions all over the galaxy, and some really are benign. Some of their research facilities are exactly what they claim to be, and some aren’t.”

Evfra was quiet as he processed this, understanding that Robin needed to get it out all in one go.

“My parents were scientists. They worked for Cerberus. Back on Earth, so they didn’t have a whole lot to do with the other people in the Milky Way. My mum, in particular, spent a lot of her time working with Element Zero. It’s not unusual for that to result in human child born with biotics. That was my sister. She could anything with her biotics – not just shields, like me. Cerberus was always looking for ways that humans gain an advantage, and biotics became one of them. My sister was fitted with a good implant, and that’s all my parents knew about it for a long time. When I was born, my mum was already sick. Element Zero does that too, if you’re around it long enough. I’m not sure if that affected my biotic ability, and I don’t really care. But I’ve never been able to do anything but make shields. I was fitted with a standard implant at first, when I was old enough. They used to take me and my sister away for testing, as they told our parents. To make sure everything was working like it should.” It was incredibly difficult to talk about, but in a strange way the cold and tiredness was making it easier. There were a lot of things she’d blocked from her memory, but maybe it was time to remember again.

“Tests?” Evfra prompted.

“Mhm. You have to understand that Cerberus did bad things to everyone – even humans. So they called them tests but…it was probably closer to torture. I don’t remember a lot about the details – I was very young. My sister remembered better. They used to push us as far as we could go. They’d make us watch the tests on the other kids first, so we understood the stakes. I remember seeing this one boy, tiny little thing but probably the same age I was, torn to pieces by varren because he couldn’t keep them away. So when they put me in that pit, and told me my life depended on it, I believed them. I put up my shield, and I held it for three days straight. It felt like my brain was melting. Of course, a child can’t go missing for three days without their parents getting concerned. So mine eventually found out. That’s why they stole us away one night, hid us in this…tiny little town, on island nobody ever heard of. It was beautiful there, and very quiet.” Evfra was silent in a way she had expected, as she paused for a breath. It isn’t called the ugly truth for no reason.

“I don’t…I didn’t…know.”

“Mum died just a few years later.” Robin continued, giving Evfra’s arm a pat to indicate that she understood. “I think my dad never really over the guilt about the kind of people they’d been working for, but he did his best until he lost his mind a bit. I wasn’t old enough to work, and my sister was just a teenager so we couldn’t take care of him. We took him to a place that watches over the old and unwell. Not a smart move, as it turns out. Neither one of us thought to make up a fake name. Cerberus is kind of an ironic name, because once they get your scent, they’ll hunt you down like dogs. So my sister and I spent our lives hopping from one shitty apartment to the next. Changing our names as often as we changed our socks. We ended up on Omega, which is…like the Kadara of the Milky Way, only more corrupt and a hell of a lot seedier. My sister was…the smartest person I’d ever met, you know. There was nothing she couldn’t do, she’d pick up ideas and concepts quicker than I could snap my fingers. But…she worked as a dancer on Omega. It was easy to get that kind of work, and Aria wasn’t stingy with the dancers – she liked them too much. But…people get murdered on Omega constantly, it was easy to disappear there, just not always because you wanted to. There was always somebody shooting up someone.” Robin was quiet for a time, then. Unlike when her mother died, she remembered this next part very vividly.

“My sister and I, one night, we were at the bar, she was just starting a shift, and neither one of us liked to let the other out of sight for too long. And in comes this merc, Blue Suns. That night just so happened to be one of Aria’s trading nights. Element Zero. Big money it, if you can afford to mine it in the first place. Usually, there’s a sort of begrudging peace between the mercenary groups on Omega, but sometimes Aria riles them up just to make sure they hate each other more than they hate her. So this Blue Suns merc is having a drink when another mercenary shows up. Eclipse, this time. Tension were high that night, and fighting in the bar is off limits, so nobody was expecting either one of them to pull out a gun. My sister was already on the platform. She got hit by a stray bullet – dead before she hit the ground. While I hid under a table, and did nothing.”

“Robin, I-.”

“I’m almost finished.” She thought she would cry talking about it, but maybe her tears were literally just frozen in the ducts. That’s handy. “I couldn’t stay on Omega after that. But it was time for me to go to university anyway. My sister and I had been saving up for it. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I ended up on Thessia – home planet for the Asari. They do scholarships if you’ve got one of three things, money, intelligence, or a sob story that’ll make them look good. I had at least one of those, I’ll leave it up to you to guess which one. When I was done, they sent me away to dig sites, to start working. Prothean ruins are very valuable, which means it attracts pirates. Batarians, usually. Pirates will shoot at anything, but luckily I’ve learned to be very good at hiding behind things. That’s actually how I met Sara. She joined us on one of our expeditions.”

“Is that how you joined the Initiative?”

 “The things is, once I was away from Omega and Thessia, then I became easy to find again. And Cerberus doesn’t quit. So…joining the Initiative was all I could think to do to get away from them for good. Kind of funny, when you think about it. Do you….understand now, why I couldn’t do nothing for those people? I couldn’t just hide behind something – not this time.” Robin shifted her head so she could look up at him, trying to read his face. Evfra wasn’t a particularly expressive person when it came to softer emotions, but she could see something cracked and saddened in his eyes and the way his mouth pulled.

“I understand.” For a moment his arms were around her, awkward and little unsure, but she appreciated the hug nonetheless. Robin knew what it meant for him to be willing to lower that wall. Which was fair, since she had literally just blown all of her emotional walls to teeny, tiny little pieces. He shifted beside her, and Robin realised that she was not as sleepy as she had felt before. Sitting together had warmed her up enough to keep going for a bit.

“Do you think we should go now?” She asked.

“Yes. I’m sorry, I would like…to comfort you, but I’m not very good at it. And though I’m willing to learn, now seems like unwise time.” Evfra replied and, despite herself, Robin snorted.

“Good point.”

“It’s not too much further to go. I left my shuttle hidden not far from here.” He held out his hand as he stood, and Robin took it gratefully. She’d spilled her heart on this snow, and now she just wanted to leave it behind. May the damn planet freeze, and keep her memories so she didn’t have to anymore.


End file.
